An attempt to purge
It's been a bad, bad week after a terrific last weekend. I don't want to be a downer but I need to get this out of my system.
I have been out of work for about two months now, after quitting a job that made me physically sick. The job market here is terrible right now for anything above the level of bitch-grunt. I've put in apps and dropped off resumes at so many places I can't even count them, and 90% of them never even acknowledged that I exist. But the capper came this week, when I got a letter in the mail from a local cable company who shall remain nameless, but who employs my good friend
royalcrow. The job was right up my alley, and paid reasonably well with excellent benefits. He'd get a nice referral bonus, too, if they hired me.
See, they had an "open house and job fair" last week at their new call center facility, doing a mass hiring for two positions. I applied for one, the Customer Account Executive/Sales, which is really an inbound call center for resolution of customer issues. Understand, I have many years of call center and customer service experience, as well as tech support, retail, public relations, marketing... everything one could ask for in such a position.
The "job fair" turned out to be a big classroom where applicants sat and filled out standard apps and psych eval sheets. As for the "open house" part, well... I got to look down a few hallways and use a restroom. There was a woman who was keeping an eye on things and answering a few questions, but there was nothing actually happening there. I asked a few questions and turned in my app, then left, as I had more places to go. So then this week I get this letter saying how much they enjoyed talking with me and discussing my qualifications, but that they were considering other applicants who more closely suited their needs for that position.
Okay, I give them credit for at least bothering to let me know that they recognized I had been there. But I never spoke any anyone about myself, period. And as far as my qualifications go, well, I can't imagine what they found to be lacking. It was pretty devastating, honestly, and left me doubting whether I will ever find something decent before I lose my apartment.
But that's not all... on Thursday, I get a phone call from my sister. Our mother's SO is not doing well. They live in Connecticut. He's been in the hospital for a few weeks, after getting a serious infection, but had appeared to stabilize. There were a few setbacks, but he always rallied. Well, not this time. He had another major setback Wednesday night, and his blood pressure would not elevate enough for any treatment. He asked to be taken off of life support, and this was done at about 1pm on Thursday. Half an hour later, he died.
Understand, I was not particularly close to the man, as I was in college when he and my mother got together, but they've been a coup[e for nearly 25 years, actually longer than my parents were married. He was a good man and he made my mom happy, and that's all a good son can ask for. Now he's gone. She's dealing with it as well as could be expected, but I know it has to be devastating for her. She's been spending most of her time the last several weeks at the hospital with him, too frazzled to even call me. I left her a message on Mother's Day, but have been getting all of my news second-hand via my sister, who lives in upstate New York.
Those of you out there who know me in RL know that I don't talk much about my family. It's not because they don't mean a lot to me; on the contrary, there is little in my life that is more important. I just tend to keep it all separate from my social life. So this has been difficult for me to deal with, let alone write about here. But I felt that I needed an outlet, and LJ was here.
There's not possible way I can get there for the wake and funeral, which will be Sunday/Monday. The family tragedy on top of my own personal work issues is crushing. I'm to the point of considering asking my father to have me committed, because I just don't believe that I can properly take care of myself any more.
I am hoping that this weekend's events will cheer me up. Yesterday's dinner with
katmandu07 and one of her groups of which I am not a normal part was a good start, which was followed by an enjoyable evening at our local game store with her and
per_solo among others, playing Iron Dragon and chatting about various and sundry. At the very least, it took my mind off of my troubles for a while. Today we have the CoJ meeting and pitch-in/gaming session afterward.
I suppose I will survive. I always manage to, somehow. But things are looking bleaker with every passing day. I need to find work, and soon. I refuse to run back to my family in Toledo again; five years of that convinced me that it was not the answer I needed. But I am rapidly running out of options. Suggestions are welcome, but I've tried an awful lot of places already with no luck.
Okay, enough depressing crap. We now return you to your regularly scheduled subjective reality.
I have been out of work for about two months now, after quitting a job that made me physically sick. The job market here is terrible right now for anything above the level of bitch-grunt. I've put in apps and dropped off resumes at so many places I can't even count them, and 90% of them never even acknowledged that I exist. But the capper came this week, when I got a letter in the mail from a local cable company who shall remain nameless, but who employs my good friend
royalcrow. The job was right up my alley, and paid reasonably well with excellent benefits. He'd get a nice referral bonus, too, if they hired me.
See, they had an "open house and job fair" last week at their new call center facility, doing a mass hiring for two positions. I applied for one, the Customer Account Executive/Sales, which is really an inbound call center for resolution of customer issues. Understand, I have many years of call center and customer service experience, as well as tech support, retail, public relations, marketing... everything one could ask for in such a position.
The "job fair" turned out to be a big classroom where applicants sat and filled out standard apps and psych eval sheets. As for the "open house" part, well... I got to look down a few hallways and use a restroom. There was a woman who was keeping an eye on things and answering a few questions, but there was nothing actually happening there. I asked a few questions and turned in my app, then left, as I had more places to go. So then this week I get this letter saying how much they enjoyed talking with me and discussing my qualifications, but that they were considering other applicants who more closely suited their needs for that position.
Okay, I give them credit for at least bothering to let me know that they recognized I had been there. But I never spoke any anyone about myself, period. And as far as my qualifications go, well, I can't imagine what they found to be lacking. It was pretty devastating, honestly, and left me doubting whether I will ever find something decent before I lose my apartment.
But that's not all... on Thursday, I get a phone call from my sister. Our mother's SO is not doing well. They live in Connecticut. He's been in the hospital for a few weeks, after getting a serious infection, but had appeared to stabilize. There were a few setbacks, but he always rallied. Well, not this time. He had another major setback Wednesday night, and his blood pressure would not elevate enough for any treatment. He asked to be taken off of life support, and this was done at about 1pm on Thursday. Half an hour later, he died.
Understand, I was not particularly close to the man, as I was in college when he and my mother got together, but they've been a coup[e for nearly 25 years, actually longer than my parents were married. He was a good man and he made my mom happy, and that's all a good son can ask for. Now he's gone. She's dealing with it as well as could be expected, but I know it has to be devastating for her. She's been spending most of her time the last several weeks at the hospital with him, too frazzled to even call me. I left her a message on Mother's Day, but have been getting all of my news second-hand via my sister, who lives in upstate New York.
Those of you out there who know me in RL know that I don't talk much about my family. It's not because they don't mean a lot to me; on the contrary, there is little in my life that is more important. I just tend to keep it all separate from my social life. So this has been difficult for me to deal with, let alone write about here. But I felt that I needed an outlet, and LJ was here.
There's not possible way I can get there for the wake and funeral, which will be Sunday/Monday. The family tragedy on top of my own personal work issues is crushing. I'm to the point of considering asking my father to have me committed, because I just don't believe that I can properly take care of myself any more.
I am hoping that this weekend's events will cheer me up. Yesterday's dinner with
katmandu07 and one of her groups of which I am not a normal part was a good start, which was followed by an enjoyable evening at our local game store with her and
per_solo among others, playing Iron Dragon and chatting about various and sundry. At the very least, it took my mind off of my troubles for a while. Today we have the CoJ meeting and pitch-in/gaming session afterward.
I suppose I will survive. I always manage to, somehow. But things are looking bleaker with every passing day. I need to find work, and soon. I refuse to run back to my family in Toledo again; five years of that convinced me that it was not the answer I needed. But I am rapidly running out of options. Suggestions are welcome, but I've tried an awful lot of places already with no luck.
Okay, enough depressing crap. We now return you to your regularly scheduled subjective reality.