39th Report :: [Closed Commentlog]

[ntjstapwn]

*Marco had spent the last few days--since he'd learned of a tiger killing at least one person--in his room, living off the supplies he'd gathered after Jenjen was put in Carnival. They'd been meant for a crisis, and though the emotional crisis hadn't been what they were intended for, it was a lot easier than dealing with people

Comments

FFFT tl;dr sorry

[dormant_beast]

[Anna has not budged from her room since she had been brought food by Phoenix, save for one brief occurrence. Only once had she left, and it had been in the cover of the blackness of night with a veil donned over her head to prevent recognition. She'd had a gnawing hunger that wouldn't dissipate with cups of water and crackers, so she'd had to finally emerge and make a trip to the buffet. She had gathered enough non-perishable items to last perhaps a week, and had immediately retreated back to her room, where she sat in silence and reflected on what she had done, and the things she might possible do in the future

s'ok :3

[ntjstapwn]

*Oh, god, she looks worse than he tought. Marco swallows, stammers a bit, and awkwardly thrusts a boquet of flowers up at her. Just random, colourful ones gathered from the flower deck and carefully (though clearly not professionally) arranged.

Marco looks much better then Anna, though he's also clearly not been sleeping well. It may be important to note he's completely sober for once; Marco hasn't touched alcohol for over a day now*

[dormant_beast]

[She opens the door wide enough in order to take the flowers pushed at her, though her face flickers in obvious confusion. She doesn't deserve any sort of kindness.

Careful not to meet his eyes, she turns to head into her room to put the flowers into some water. She leaves the door open behind her. It's more of an invitation than Phoenix got, though he hadn't exactly waited for one, either.]

[ntjstapwn]

*Marco enters once Anna moves. He closes the door behind him--if they were going to talk it'd be private--and hangs near it.

He watches her for a moment before forcing himself to speak. His voice is still rather quiet and flustered, but not as scared.*

Anna...I'm sorry. For what I did, and for not coming here sooner.

[dormant_beast]

[She tries to pretend that him hanging near the exit doesn't hurt, but it sends a sting deeper than she'd thought possible. Ignoring it, she places the flowers in one of her water glasses, then sets it on her nightstand.]

It is fine.

[Her voice is hollow and crackly from not speaking much over the past few days. She doesn't turn to look at him.]

You should go.

[ntjstapwn]

...I don't want to.

*Marco takes a couple steps towards Anna*

Please, Anna, I want to make it up to you.

*He knows he'll have to talk to her about her rampage at some point...but for now it seemed easier to ignore it. Marco still wasn't entirely sure what he thought about it all...but how he felt was much clearer.*

[dormant_beast]

...Then...you are a fool.

[He knows - she knows how he checks the comms, what messages are and aren't unlocked for public viewing. It's been mentioned what she did, she knows it, he knows it.

Busying herself with her flowers again, she tries to make her voice steady.]

You do not need to make anything up to me.

[ntjstapwn]

Maybe I am.

*He probably was...Anna had attacked and killed multiple people, but here he was alone with her. But if she'd meant to hurt anyone...if she had, she would have hurt people--hurt him much sooner.
Marco sighed. It was a lot easier when he stopped thinking so much, so he tried his best to shut off those parts of his brain*

I feel like I do, Anna. I never wanted to hurt you.

[dormant_beast]

You are. [She agrees halfheartedly, folding her hands over her chest and still very pointedly ignoring his gaze.]

You should have...been performing your job with me all along, not just...with my posts. [Then again, what would she have had him do? Lock up her and thrown away the key? Insisted the captain keep her in the brig? Were those even options? She doesn't think so. Not with some of the other passengers walking free on board.

Silly thoughts. Home was her best option.]

You can go, if you like. I do not mean to keep you.

[At least she has improved enough since her last visit to formulate complete sentences.]

[ntjstapwn]

That isn't...that's not how my job works.

*He could try to explain it, but that really didn't matter right not.*

And that's not what I was doing. At least...not for a long time.

*He takes a deep breath and moves closer to her, reaching out to put a hand on her shoulder.
His voice grows softer; despite everything, he wanted to comfort her*

I don't want to go, Anna. I want to stay...please.

[dormant_beast]

[She makes an unintelligible noise, still staring vacantly at the wall, not particularly focusing on any one thing. When she feels a hand on her shoulder, it's automatic reaction to flinch away, but she manages to keep it down to just a twitch.]

If that is what you want, I will not force you to go.

[She pauses, then murmurs with a shake of her head.]

It...would be best for you, if you did.

[Distance from any and every single person on board this ship was the safest thing she could possibly do.]

[ntjstapwn]

*The twitch makes his heart jump. He wants to take her in his arms, but fears that will make her feel worse, so he doesn't move.*

I don't believe that, Anna. I can't believe that.

There was...you made a mistake. I can't believe it was your fault. If you wanted to hurt anyone you would have done so a long time ago. You've had a ton of chances to, millions of reasons to, lose control and you haven't. This place...it pushes everyone to the brink. What you di--what happened wasn't pretty, but here is...here is probably the best place for it to happen. They came back; they'll get over it. And you can learn from it. Talk...talk to Bryn or something.

Or...or, I don't know. But there has to be a way to learn from it. There always is.

*He swallows again, and tries to look her in the eyes.*

I'm not going, Anna. I don't care what happens. I'm going to stay and do my best to help.

[dormant_beast]

A mistake? [She gives a hollow laugh.] A mistake is accidentally breaking your mother's favorite vase. It is...saying something silly you did not mean.

[She pulls away from his hand.]

Hurting and killing people - that is not a mistake. I can hear their screams still, while I am trying to sleep.

[She blatantly refuses to look at him. She has no desire to talk to Bryn, to talk to anyone else on the ship. There was no fixing this.]

I could hurt you.

[She says this casually, as if she's talking about baseball.]

[ntjstapwn]

A mistake. Something that happened, something that you did, that you didn't mean to happen. That you normally would never have done.

*Marco would contact Bryn about it if Anna didn't. Perhaps in a few days*

You could. Maybe you should. But I'm still not going. I know what you're capable of and...*He prayed this didn't somehow make her feel worse* and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little afraid of it, but I don't care.

...Anna, I know you. You normally would never hurt anyone; something pushed you. If you really were some kind of monster, you wouldn't feel terrible for what happened.

[dormant_beast]

Killing people is not a mistake. The Facility, they were right, yes? I would like very much to go back home, now.

[It says something that she utters those words, and it'll be on him if he picks up on that or not.

She will be absolutely livid if he contacts Bryn, but - just because he does it, doesn't mean Anna has to speak to the woman. No one can get into her room without permission.

Pausing, she rubs at her eyes. She's tired - little food, little sleep, it's all taking a toll. She would like to sleep, and slip off into the darkness and not ever return. The guilt sits on her like a weight.]

I lost control. You should care, and...you should go. It...would really be best.

[ntjstapwn]

It can be, Anna. Its not an easy mistake to live with, or to fix, but it can still be a mistake.

*He winces at her words. If she were to go home...he didn't want to think about that.
He almost reaches out to touch her face, but stops himself.*

You've been here for months, Anna, and you've only lost control once. With everything that's happened...a weaker person would have lost control much earlier.

...If you want, I can try to...I, I don't know, try to keep it from happening again or keep you from being able to hurt anyone if it does...but I won't believe that you ever meant to hurt them, or that the Facility was right about you, or that you're a terrible person because of what you are.