love thy enemies
I found the greatest thing...im sure you can only imagine who comes to mind.
and let me tell you do i ever. its kind of hard to pray for people that you feel like you should never think about ever again in your life let alone pray good things for but....it's those people who need your prayer the most. this morning when i woke up i sat in front of the mirror to put in my contacts and i jus started thinking about moe and then i started crying. *i started my period 2day which may explain some of that* i was jus overwhelmed as usual i dont know. i get like that sometimes because i jus really miss him. a lot. its sick. but i dont care. especially because he's leaving this year & so that makes me depressed because he'll be gone 4ever and ever and ever and ever & all i think about is whether or not im going to get the chance to sit & talk to him 4real and say any of what im always thinking about & wanting to say & if we'll end this year on good terms or not. i really hope we do. i pray we do. i was thinking about how i lost all of those conversations of ours online when my harddrive died & i remembered the one where he said i was a slut...or i was acting like a slut. that made me cry even harder. i dont know....i dont really feel like repeating everything i was thinking about because ill prolly cry cuz it hurts but it helped me. i still love him even for things like that. it hurts sooo bad to have somebody u love & look up to & respect so much tell u something like that but he was right @ the time in a way. and noooo people when i say i love him i dont mean im IN love with him or nothin like that i jus mean i love him...as a friend...as a brother (although not really cuz that'd be nasty)...as somebody who means a lot to me. not as some stupid thing where i think im in love with him cuz i like him sooo much...its not like that at all. dont get it twisted. seriously. but i need to go lay down now.........i miss u homie. :o) hehe.
*~Ashley~*
and let me tell you do i ever. its kind of hard to pray for people that you feel like you should never think about ever again in your life let alone pray good things for but....it's those people who need your prayer the most. this morning when i woke up i sat in front of the mirror to put in my contacts and i jus started thinking about moe and then i started crying. *i started my period 2day which may explain some of that* i was jus overwhelmed as usual i dont know. i get like that sometimes because i jus really miss him. a lot. its sick. but i dont care. especially because he's leaving this year & so that makes me depressed because he'll be gone 4ever and ever and ever and ever & all i think about is whether or not im going to get the chance to sit & talk to him 4real and say any of what im always thinking about & wanting to say & if we'll end this year on good terms or not. i really hope we do. i pray we do. i was thinking about how i lost all of those conversations of ours online when my harddrive died & i remembered the one where he said i was a slut...or i was acting like a slut. that made me cry even harder. i dont know....i dont really feel like repeating everything i was thinking about because ill prolly cry cuz it hurts but it helped me. i still love him even for things like that. it hurts sooo bad to have somebody u love & look up to & respect so much tell u something like that but he was right @ the time in a way. and noooo people when i say i love him i dont mean im IN love with him or nothin like that i jus mean i love him...as a friend...as a brother (although not really cuz that'd be nasty)...as somebody who means a lot to me. not as some stupid thing where i think im in love with him cuz i like him sooo much...its not like that at all. dont get it twisted. seriously. but i need to go lay down now.........i miss u homie. :o) hehe.
*~Ashley~*