still here with me
Totally illogical and yet, I believe it.
I'm doing my laundry and emptying out one of my large dufflebags to truck it down to the laundryroom (yeah, there's a lot of it...) and I find at the bottom a fake fingernail.
I don't wear them, or at least I haven't in years. Too much typing, not enough money.
But my mom sure did. Always. Her nails were always so brittle and broken, she would have them done when she had money and do them herself when she didn't. When I lived at home you could always find them all over the house, they'd either spill out of her case or pop off when the glue loosened.
A year and a half later, I find one. In a bag I've used twenty times since she died. It's not a special day, by any means... but I still take it as a sign.
She's still here. She never left. And I believe it because she told me she would be around (and she believed in an afterlife even though I don't, which makes the logical progression behind all this really, really confusing). Sure, odds are that every now and then I'll find something that will remind me of her, and it's MY mind making a connection between that and her, not the other way around. I know this.
But I believe, right now, otherwise. If only for a moment, I feel her presence. And it makes me happy.
Although she's probably telling me "you should have done the laundry last week when there wasn't so much and saved yourself lugging all that downstairs in the heat" ;-)
I'm doing my laundry and emptying out one of my large dufflebags to truck it down to the laundryroom (yeah, there's a lot of it...) and I find at the bottom a fake fingernail.
I don't wear them, or at least I haven't in years. Too much typing, not enough money.
But my mom sure did. Always. Her nails were always so brittle and broken, she would have them done when she had money and do them herself when she didn't. When I lived at home you could always find them all over the house, they'd either spill out of her case or pop off when the glue loosened.
A year and a half later, I find one. In a bag I've used twenty times since she died. It's not a special day, by any means... but I still take it as a sign.
She's still here. She never left. And I believe it because she told me she would be around (and she believed in an afterlife even though I don't, which makes the logical progression behind all this really, really confusing). Sure, odds are that every now and then I'll find something that will remind me of her, and it's MY mind making a connection between that and her, not the other way around. I know this.
But I believe, right now, otherwise. If only for a moment, I feel her presence. And it makes me happy.
Although she's probably telling me "you should have done the laundry last week when there wasn't so much and saved yourself lugging all that downstairs in the heat" ;-)