Without bitterness, without spirit, let the past fade
I've come to become a lot less bitter about my undergraduate department than I was a year or two ago. This is a good thing in a certain sense, but I'm also actually sort of ashamed at the resigned disregard I've brought to the table when before, I would have resisted, complained, and fought with every fiber of my existence the wrongs we underwent.
The thing I find terribly, terribly ironic is that despite all the good intentions some of us had to change things, to make them better, the vast majority of us, perhaps all of us, just can not bring ourselves to care anymore. The fate which we had practically sworn to fight against--the acknowledgement of our powerlessness against the department--has fallen upon us. Resigned to the wrongs that had already afflicted us, we would rather allow future generations to continue suffering than to try to solve the problems ourselves. We are already done with it; we wanted change when we were there, not now. No good could come of anything now. It's not our problem anymore, not our concern, not anything we could change even if we did find it worth changing.
That past will become just another bad dream, relegated to a faded memory that, as far as we care, could not possibly fade quickly enough.
The thing I find terribly, terribly ironic is that despite all the good intentions some of us had to change things, to make them better, the vast majority of us, perhaps all of us, just can not bring ourselves to care anymore. The fate which we had practically sworn to fight against--the acknowledgement of our powerlessness against the department--has fallen upon us. Resigned to the wrongs that had already afflicted us, we would rather allow future generations to continue suffering than to try to solve the problems ourselves. We are already done with it; we wanted change when we were there, not now. No good could come of anything now. It's not our problem anymore, not our concern, not anything we could change even if we did find it worth changing.
That past will become just another bad dream, relegated to a faded memory that, as far as we care, could not possibly fade quickly enough.