Lessons we choose not to learn
Some lessons in life are tough to learn, lessons like not overworking, not expecting the world especially when competing against olympiad-class grad students, and the fact shortcomings, anger, and bitterness are natural parts of one's existence. I've lost count how many times I've ignored those lessons and received reminders that I unfortunately don't live above the law of karmic nature.
Despite that, I can't really help seeing the battle against karmic consequence as a fundamentally noble one. Ideally, there would not be any pain at all; after all, the pain we undergo is all for a certain cause and is furthermore self-inflicted. None of us who suffer here have anyone to blame but ourselves for our situations. I feel fairly certain we've all figured this out.
Yet with the simple, puerile lesson that pain hurts and the understanding that pain is only caused by oneself, many of us choose to inflict upon ourselves the very afflictions our instincts make every effort to avoid. Like a memoryless automaton, some strange perpetually moving broken clock, we continue the same rituals as before. Every virtue can be recast as a vice, every vice as a virtue. It seems with this quarter having ended, by virtue of (or is it because of?) my stubbornness, it's as if I didn't really learn anything from the experience at all. Would I want it any other way, though?
Despite that, I can't really help seeing the battle against karmic consequence as a fundamentally noble one. Ideally, there would not be any pain at all; after all, the pain we undergo is all for a certain cause and is furthermore self-inflicted. None of us who suffer here have anyone to blame but ourselves for our situations. I feel fairly certain we've all figured this out.
Yet with the simple, puerile lesson that pain hurts and the understanding that pain is only caused by oneself, many of us choose to inflict upon ourselves the very afflictions our instincts make every effort to avoid. Like a memoryless automaton, some strange perpetually moving broken clock, we continue the same rituals as before. Every virtue can be recast as a vice, every vice as a virtue. It seems with this quarter having ended, by virtue of (or is it because of?) my stubbornness, it's as if I didn't really learn anything from the experience at all. Would I want it any other way, though?