Recent Events in my life...
So, its going to be really nice not doing Sunrise Service this year for church. I hate waking up at 4am. But now that a new generation of youth have started carrying on our tradition, I feel that it is my duty as an alum to go and support them. So thats where I'll be Sunday morning.
Jason and I are doing well. We're out of that "honeymoon stage" as it is called, which is making things a little bit tougher to chew. I really have to learn to not critize so much. I am having issues keeping myself calm when someone does something that I dont want them to do...or isnt doing them the way that I want it done. I get so irritated with him over stupid things because I cant control my anger and frustration and it comes out bitchy and totally overdramatic. Though he promises me daily that we're going to stay together (until I say we aren't, pretty much), I dont know how he deals with me. If anyone's got any suggestions on how I can fix this ... insecurity, please let me know. I dont want to start hating myself for fucking up the best relationship of my life.
This quarter didnt go well. I didnt drop the classes I wanted to and I didnt take the exam for one of the classes I actually sorta attended. Why am I fucking up so bad? I just picked out the rest of my classes for Spring Quarter TODAY (Classes start Monday) and I'm taking the most random of classes. Its not good...and its certainly not going to go over well with my family, if I ever decide to tell them. On a happy note though, I got a B- in College Algebra, the class that about 50% ... no, maybe 75$ of people in the class dropped because things were getting so fucked up with our teacher and the switch and everything...and my sister failed. And I did well. The one class all quarter. I dont know what to do. Why am I lacking motivation? I was already doing bad before Jason came along, so its not that whole "now that I have a boyfriend, I dont have time for anything else" kind of thing, which is a very dumb excuse, by the way. I just need to get my shit together, even though I am not sure I have any goals. I mean, a lawyer, yeah, thats nice, and its going to take care of all my random expensive shopping needs, but is that really where I see myself? No. Not at all. I dont even see myself as a clerk at the local gas station. I dont see myself doing anything. I can only see myself as a housewife...married to someone that can work for me... what a dream, right? God, I have such issues.
Anyway, I'm getting tired...and its 9:30. I'm turning into an old maid. I cant stay up past 10 anymore, which is good and bad. All I know is that I want my bear and my bed and my blankey and I'll be alright.
Comment and sweet sweet times for you all.
Jason and I are doing well. We're out of that "honeymoon stage" as it is called, which is making things a little bit tougher to chew. I really have to learn to not critize so much. I am having issues keeping myself calm when someone does something that I dont want them to do...or isnt doing them the way that I want it done. I get so irritated with him over stupid things because I cant control my anger and frustration and it comes out bitchy and totally overdramatic. Though he promises me daily that we're going to stay together (until I say we aren't, pretty much), I dont know how he deals with me. If anyone's got any suggestions on how I can fix this ... insecurity, please let me know. I dont want to start hating myself for fucking up the best relationship of my life.
This quarter didnt go well. I didnt drop the classes I wanted to and I didnt take the exam for one of the classes I actually sorta attended. Why am I fucking up so bad? I just picked out the rest of my classes for Spring Quarter TODAY (Classes start Monday) and I'm taking the most random of classes. Its not good...and its certainly not going to go over well with my family, if I ever decide to tell them. On a happy note though, I got a B- in College Algebra, the class that about 50% ... no, maybe 75$ of people in the class dropped because things were getting so fucked up with our teacher and the switch and everything...and my sister failed. And I did well. The one class all quarter. I dont know what to do. Why am I lacking motivation? I was already doing bad before Jason came along, so its not that whole "now that I have a boyfriend, I dont have time for anything else" kind of thing, which is a very dumb excuse, by the way. I just need to get my shit together, even though I am not sure I have any goals. I mean, a lawyer, yeah, thats nice, and its going to take care of all my random expensive shopping needs, but is that really where I see myself? No. Not at all. I dont even see myself as a clerk at the local gas station. I dont see myself doing anything. I can only see myself as a housewife...married to someone that can work for me... what a dream, right? God, I have such issues.
Anyway, I'm getting tired...and its 9:30. I'm turning into an old maid. I cant stay up past 10 anymore, which is good and bad. All I know is that I want my bear and my bed and my blankey and I'll be alright.
Comment and sweet sweet times for you all.