Remind Me (part 1, Afterward)
Part 1: Afterward
LSM Prep, Korea
February 16, 2004
Monday, 1:13 am
Jaejoong’s body tenses, eyes flying open. He jerks upright, breathing hard, gaze skittering around the dorm and landing on his roommate. Yoochun is still awake on the opposite bed, a pen in hand, poised over the pages of a well-used notebook. "You!" Jaejoong hisses.
It's less a pronoun, more an accusation.
Yoochun looks him over with a slow sweep up and down. He sighs in apparent disappointment. "Oh, you're back."
The comment, nor the tone, quite register as Jaejoong’s hands come up to cup his head, rubbing soothingly at his temples. "I had the weirdest dream. I was a prisoner in my own body and I kept doing all these weird things, but I couldn't stop myself. It was like I was two different people...and why the hell am I telling you all of this?" Jaejoong suddenly cries, looking at Yoochun in obvious distress. Then he winces, rubbing at his temples again. "Except...you were in my dream too..."
A groan sounds from beside him and Jaejoong startles, staring down in disbelief at the arm around his waist. He traces the limb with an anxiously hopeful gaze, past wrist and forearm, along elbow and triceps, over shoulder and up neck, until...
"Yunho." Jaejoong breathes.
Yoochun watches as the older boy's face shifts and softens with something akin to reverence. "You really do love him, don't you?"
Jaejoong shakes his head in weak denial, but he's still unable to look away from the boy lying fast asleep next to him. "He shouldn’t be here. I can’t do this.”
“Why?” Yoochun growls, automatically jumping to conclusions, “Because he’s a he or because you think he’s beneath you?”
“Because I don’t know how to do this! I don’t know how to…”
“Love?” Yoochun fills in, affected by the panic and uncertainty clear on the other boy’s face.
Jaejoong’s voice rasps out, desperate and afraid. "I'm going to hurt him. I do hurt him. I can't -"
"Yes, you can." Yoochun quietly interrupts. There's a solid line of steel in his calm assurance, he means everything he's about to say. "I don't know what your life has been like until now, I just know it hasn't been happy. But, Jaejoong-hyung, I believe that you are very capable of love. And I think everyone in this room would agree with me."
"Jaejoong-hyung...everyone?" Jaejoong repeats wonderingly, and finally takes in the rest of his surroundings. He sees the tangled heap of Junsu and Changmin, asleep on Yoochun's bed, notices the way Yoochun's free hand runs through Junsu's hair again and again. Then there's Hyunjoong, Seunghyun, and Jiyong in a mess of blankets and pillows and limbs, sprawled out on the floor. "So, it wasn't a dream." Jaejoong realizes.
"No."
"Who was He?"
Yoochun smiles fondly. "He said he was you, just from another world."
"Yoochun-shi...no…Yoochunnie." Jaejoong begins tentatively, a slow and hesitant smile tugging across his face.
And for a one split second Yoochun feels a stab of longing lance through his heart at the memory of another Jaejoong, with more trusting eyes and a quicker smile. Still, the smile this Jaejoong sends his way is sweeter somehow, maybe because of its rarity.
"Yeah, Hyung?"
"You - you really think I'm capable of love?"
There's vulnerability in the question, and in the older boy asking it, that Yoochun has never witnessed before. It makes him want to hug this Jaejoong tight...and maybe pet his hair or something. "You love Yunho-hyung, don't you?"
"I do insane things to Yunho-ah." Jaejoong admits contritely, absently clutching at Yunho's arm around his waist. "I can't seem to function rationally when he's around."
"See, that's love." Yoochun points out with amused understanding. "You're just going about it in the wrong way. Don't worry, we'll help you figure out the right way. All of us. And Yunho-hyung, too." Yoochun winks.
The older boy blushes and Yoochun feels like he's not the only one discovering this part of Jaejoong. Jaejoong seems just as amazed as Yoochun feels. "Thank you, Yoochunnie." Jaejoong whispers shyly.
"Eh," Yoochun shrugs and grins, "What are soulmates for?"
~~~
Tohoshinki's apartment, Japan
June 23, 2009
Tuesday, 9:42 pm
"Yoochunnie, the food's here. Yunho-hyung says to go eat." Junsu breezes into the Jaejoong's bedroom and bends down in front of Yoochun, who is half asleep in the armchair pulled in close to Jaejoong’s bed. "Go on, I'll sit with Jaejoong-hyung."
Yoochun yawns and stretches, blinking down at Junsu sleepily. "What about you? You need to eat, too."
"Finished already." Junsu beams.
Yoochun shakes his head in affectionate bemusement. "How you don't get indigestion after every meal, I just don't know."
Junsu giggles and sticks out his tongue playfully. Yoochun's brain stutters to a halt and his body reacts unthinkingly, thumb coming out to trace along Junsu's plump bottom lip, pupils dilating with instant desire.
Junsu tilts his head to the side, eyes gone wide in sweet obliviousness. "Yoochunnie?"
Yoochun curses himself and pulls his hand away, reigning his libido back in. Sometimes he wishes Junsu weren't so damn innocent, then he wouldn't feel so guilty. Mostly he just wishes Junsu's innocence didn't turn him on so damn much, because it was getting harder and harder not to cross lines he wasn't sure he was ready to cross. "Um, yeah," Yoochun says, standing up abruptly. "I'll just go eat now."
"Okay." Junsu stands too and nods approvingly as Yoochun heads for the door. "Has Jaejoong-hyung woken up at all? I mean, since we brought him home from the hospital?"
Yoochun pauses in the doorway and turns around, gazing at the sleeping form of his Hyung, tucked under a mountain of blankets. "You mean besides that one time where he called me a 'reject' then passed right back out again? No."
Junsu bites at his lip worriedly. "He'll be okay though, won't he, Yoochunnie?"
"The doctor said it's a combination of the flu and exhaustion. He'll be fine, Susu-ah, he just needs rest." Yoochun reassures. "A lot of it."
"Okay."
Junsu smiles and Yoochun hurries out of the room before he does something stupid, like kiss his best friend senseless. Crap, he really needs to talk to Yunho-hyung right now, since the older man knows exactly how he feels.
I know, it's fluffy and short, with everything being wrapped up all nice and neat. But y'all if I wrote anything more complicated, this story would take FOREVER.
11 |