What We're Not (part 3)
TITLE: What We're Not (part 3)
GENRE: Fluff
RATING: PG-13
PAIRING: Yunjae
LENGTH: Series
DISCLAIMER: I do not own DBSK, nor do I know them, so this work is complete and utter fiction. And nobody would pay me money for it.
SUMMARY: "Fine, I admit it." Jaejoong stabs a finger into Yunho's chest. Stab. Stab. Stab. "We're Umma and Appa, but NOT husband and wife! I AM NOT A GIRL!!" "Are we talking technically or figuritvely?" Changmin asks, eyes peeking out over Yunho's shoulder cautiously. "Well..." Yoochun considers.
A/N: I remembered watching a fancam where Jaejoong actually admitted to watching a Yunjae fanvid or something like that. So, this is based off of that and completely stupid, because after everything that's been going on with our boys I just needed the laugh. If you catch the reference to Colbie Caillat, yup, I did it on purpose (love that song ;p). Also, why do I always seem to stick JJ in the kitchen?
PREVIOUS ENTRIES: Part One | Part Two
What We're Not, Part Three: Umma and Appa, But Not Husband and Wife...
“Why am I always uke?" Jaejoong screams, stabbing at the space bar of his keyboard. He glares at his computer screen, scrolling through fanfic summaries, looking for one in which he pwns Yunho’s bee-hind. Literally.
Yunho drifts into the room, chin settling onto Jaejoong’s shoulder. “Why do you even read this?”
“It’s entertaining.” Jaejoong answers, because it really is. “Or it would be if I wasn’t always the damn uke. Seriously, I want to be seme!”
Jaejoong stabs at the space bar again. Stab. Stab. Stab.
“The fact that you even know those terms worries me.” Yunho says, straitening up and placing a palm to Jaejoong’s forehead, like the lead singer has a fever, or a disease, or really just a sickness.
“You know them too.” Jaejoong points out.
Stab. Stab. Stab.
“Did I have a choice?” Yunho moves away, long limbs sprawling out over Jaejoong’s bed. “You explained them to me, in detail, the minute you found out what they were.”
“Changminnie told me.” Jaejoong clarifies. Stab. Stab. Stab.
“Why am I not surprised?” Yunho muses.
“Then Yoochunnie gave me the details.” Jaejoong continues. Stab. Stab. Stab.
“Again, with the not being surprised.” Yunho states.
“Fanfic has taught me a lot more since then.” Jaejoong announces proudly. Stab. Stab. Stab.
Yunho rolls his eyes. “Just don’t teach them to Junsu.”
“I would never!” Jaejoong feels scandalized just thinking about their sweet, innocent Junsu learning about things like, well, homoeroticism, or just eroticism in general.
Stab. Stab. Stab.
Junsu’s voice suddenly echoes through the whole apartment, as if he can sense them talking about him. “Jaejoongie-hyung, I’m huuunnnggggrrrryyyy!”
“Me, too!” Changmin endorses.
Jaejoong sighs and rises from his desk. He holds his chair out to Yunho. “Here, Yunho-ah.”
“What?” Yunho blinks over at him, confused.
“Find me good fanfic to read while I go and make lunch.”
Yunho’s jaw hits his chest. “What?!!”
“Come on. Please, please, please, please.” Jaejoong whines.
“I am not going to look up Seme!Jae, Uke!Yunho fanfic for you, Jaejoongie. Just…no.” Yunho sputters.
“How did you know it had to be Uke!Yunho?” Jaejoong wonders.
Yunho glares.
Jaejoong pouts. “Please, Yunho-ah.”
“That look only works on Chun and Su.” Yunho remains firm.
“Fine!” Jaejoong huffs. He unplugs his laptop, makes a face at Yunho, and flounces from the room.
Yunho slides reluctantly from the bed and trails after Jaejoong into the kitchen. “Jaejoongie, you cannot cook and look up fanfic all at the same time.”
“Watch me!” Jaejoong insists stubbornly, looking for a good place to set his laptop down.
Yunho sighs and Changmin wanders over to stand next to the older man. They watch Jaejoong bypass the area around the sink, then the stove, laptop still cradled in his arms as he shakes his head and mumbles to himself about “Stupid Seme!Yunho” and alternately stabs at the space bar.
Stab. Stab. Stab.
“What’s wrong with Hyung?”
“He doesn’t want to be uke.”
“Oh,” Changmin nods his head in dark understanding, “they’re always making me uke too.”
Jaejoong suddenly stops, turns. “Minnie.” He breathes, eyes lighting up on a kindred spirit. “You know how I feel, don’t you?”
“Didn’t I just say that?” Changmin asks.
“You tonally implied.” Yunho corrects.
“Still, it was obvious, right?” Changmin maintains.
“Must’ve been,” Yunho acknowledges, motioning to Jaejoong.
Changmin watches his eldest hyung with both eyebrows raised as Jaejoong dances toward him excitedly, laptop held out in anticipation.
“Will you help me look for Seme!Jae, Uke!Yunho fanfic, Minnie-ah?” Jaejoong implores.
“Um,” Changmin takes the laptop uncertainly, but can’t bring himself to deny the bright flicker of hope shining in Jaejoong’s eyes. “Sure.” He finally shrugs in concession. It’s not like he has anything better to do anyway, other than wait for lunch to be ready.
Also, he really does know how his hyung feels. Damn those KiMin/HoMin fangirls!
Yunho sighs again and decides to just leave the two of them to it. He shuffles into the living room, grabs the latest Bleach manga from the bookshelf and lies down on the couch. He’s halfway through Ichigo’s battle with Ulquoirra when he hears a loud, pitiable cry reverberating all around him.
“What?!! Nooooooooooo!!!!!”
It’s Jaejoong.
Yunho launches off of the couch and races through the apartment with visions of possible bleeding limbs, or worse, uneatable food, filling his mind. He arrives just in time to catch a frightened Changmin in his arms as the youngest flees from the kitchen in a panic.
“My fault.” Changmin gasps, twisting Yunho’s shirt in his hands desperately. “Should’ve read the summary all the way through.”
“What happened?” Yunho demands, but feels relieved that nothing seems to have happened to the food.
Changmin swallows and attempts to explain. “See, he starts off as Player-Seme!Jae. Then he meets you and becomes -”
“WIFEY!Jaejoong!” The eldest stalks from the kitchen with murder in his eyes, zeroing in on HoMin.
“Oh, just bite me already.” Yunho groans under his breath.
Changmin flinches away from Jaejoong’s uber glare of future pain and starvation and ducks behind Yunho’s back to hide.
“Look, I don’t mind being called Umma, okay, because -”
“Because you are.” Yoochun finishes for Jaejoong, suddenly appearing next to Yunho. None of them actually knows when he got there except that he’s not helping.
“Not now, Yoochunnie!” Jaejoong snaps.
“Okay, then.”
“Fine, I admit it.” Jaejoong stabs a finger into Yunho’s chest. Stab. Stab. Stab. “We’re Umma and Appa, but NOT husband and wife! I AM NOT A GIRL!!”
“Are we talking technically or figuratively?” Changmin asks, eyes peeking out over Yunho’s shoulder cautiously.
“Well…” Yoochun considers.
Yunho rubs at his abused chest and says only, “I know. I’m glad.”
Jaejoong loses some of his momentum. “You - you are?”
“Duh!” Changmin rolls his eyes.
“Yeah,” Yoochun agrees.
Yunho just stares at Jaejoong like it should be obvious. “What would I do with you if you were a girl, Jaejoongie?”
It’s not a compliment, not even close, but Jaejoong feels something warm and fuzzy spread from his heart to his toes, to his fingertips, to his head. It’s really nice, kind of bubbly.
“This is what I know.” Yunho expounds. “At the end of the day we still have jobs to do.”
“Mmm-hmm.” Changmin and Yoochun nod.
“Three little ones to raise.”
“Who you calling little?” Changmin mutters.
“And a home to take care of.”
“You mean like cleaning?” Yoochun asks. “Junsu’s the messy one. It wasn’t me.”
“And I’m just glad that I get to do all of that with you. It doesn’t matter to me what others want to label us as.”
Changmin sticks a finger in his mouth and pretends to vomit.
Yoochun giggles behind his hand.
Jaejoong falls a little bit in love with Yunho and slaps himself for it…but not literally.
“I don’t have to be seme.” Yunho offers magnanimously.
“Wait, are we talking about RL!Yunjae or Fanfic!Yunjae?” Changmin asks.
“Neither, we’re talking about Jaeho.” Yoochun titters.
Yunjae is real, Jaejoong thinks and stares at Yunho in helpless admiration, then slaps himself again…but still not literally.
“I don’t mind being uke, as long as you’re the seme.” Yunho smiles with absolute sincerity.
“Whipped.” Changmin declares.
“Sweet.” Yoochun overrides.
“What was I mad about again?” Jaejoong ponders aloud, because he honestly forgets.
Junsu finally decides to make his presence known. He bounces out from behind Yoochun and blinks innocently at the other four. “What’s uke and seme mean?”
Changmin chokes.
“Oh, boy.” Yoochun whistles.
Jaejoong freezes and looks at Yunho.
Yunho grins and slaps a hand down on Jaejoong’s shoulder. “Well, then Seme!Jae, this should be no problem for your manly prowess to handle, right? I’ll just leave it to you, then.”
“But, Yunho-ah -”
“Uke!Yunho.” The leader amends, then waves cheerfully and walks away. Changmin hurries after him.
“Yah, Changmin!” Jaejoong shouts.
“Uke!Changmin.” The maknae mimes and doesn’t slow down at all.
Jaejoong blinks desperately at Yoochun.
“Distract him with cookies.” Yoochun offers, still not helping.
“Ooh, cookies!” Junsu exclaims.
Jaejoong buries his face in his hands and seriously rethinks his position on ukes.
Part Four
GENRE: Fluff
RATING: PG-13
PAIRING: Yunjae
LENGTH: Series
DISCLAIMER: I do not own DBSK, nor do I know them, so this work is complete and utter fiction. And nobody would pay me money for it.
SUMMARY: "Fine, I admit it." Jaejoong stabs a finger into Yunho's chest. Stab. Stab. Stab. "We're Umma and Appa, but NOT husband and wife! I AM NOT A GIRL!!" "Are we talking technically or figuritvely?" Changmin asks, eyes peeking out over Yunho's shoulder cautiously. "Well..." Yoochun considers.
A/N: I remembered watching a fancam where Jaejoong actually admitted to watching a Yunjae fanvid or something like that. So, this is based off of that and completely stupid, because after everything that's been going on with our boys I just needed the laugh. If you catch the reference to Colbie Caillat, yup, I did it on purpose (love that song ;p). Also, why do I always seem to stick JJ in the kitchen?
PREVIOUS ENTRIES: Part One | Part Two
What We're Not, Part Three: Umma and Appa, But Not Husband and Wife...
“Why am I always uke?" Jaejoong screams, stabbing at the space bar of his keyboard. He glares at his computer screen, scrolling through fanfic summaries, looking for one in which he pwns Yunho’s bee-hind. Literally.
Yunho drifts into the room, chin settling onto Jaejoong’s shoulder. “Why do you even read this?”
“It’s entertaining.” Jaejoong answers, because it really is. “Or it would be if I wasn’t always the damn uke. Seriously, I want to be seme!”
Jaejoong stabs at the space bar again. Stab. Stab. Stab.
“The fact that you even know those terms worries me.” Yunho says, straitening up and placing a palm to Jaejoong’s forehead, like the lead singer has a fever, or a disease, or really just a sickness.
“You know them too.” Jaejoong points out.
Stab. Stab. Stab.
“Did I have a choice?” Yunho moves away, long limbs sprawling out over Jaejoong’s bed. “You explained them to me, in detail, the minute you found out what they were.”
“Changminnie told me.” Jaejoong clarifies. Stab. Stab. Stab.
“Why am I not surprised?” Yunho muses.
“Then Yoochunnie gave me the details.” Jaejoong continues. Stab. Stab. Stab.
“Again, with the not being surprised.” Yunho states.
“Fanfic has taught me a lot more since then.” Jaejoong announces proudly. Stab. Stab. Stab.
Yunho rolls his eyes. “Just don’t teach them to Junsu.”
“I would never!” Jaejoong feels scandalized just thinking about their sweet, innocent Junsu learning about things like, well, homoeroticism, or just eroticism in general.
Stab. Stab. Stab.
Junsu’s voice suddenly echoes through the whole apartment, as if he can sense them talking about him. “Jaejoongie-hyung, I’m huuunnnggggrrrryyyy!”
“Me, too!” Changmin endorses.
Jaejoong sighs and rises from his desk. He holds his chair out to Yunho. “Here, Yunho-ah.”
“What?” Yunho blinks over at him, confused.
“Find me good fanfic to read while I go and make lunch.”
Yunho’s jaw hits his chest. “What?!!”
“Come on. Please, please, please, please.” Jaejoong whines.
“I am not going to look up Seme!Jae, Uke!Yunho fanfic for you, Jaejoongie. Just…no.” Yunho sputters.
“How did you know it had to be Uke!Yunho?” Jaejoong wonders.
Yunho glares.
Jaejoong pouts. “Please, Yunho-ah.”
“That look only works on Chun and Su.” Yunho remains firm.
“Fine!” Jaejoong huffs. He unplugs his laptop, makes a face at Yunho, and flounces from the room.
Yunho slides reluctantly from the bed and trails after Jaejoong into the kitchen. “Jaejoongie, you cannot cook and look up fanfic all at the same time.”
“Watch me!” Jaejoong insists stubbornly, looking for a good place to set his laptop down.
Yunho sighs and Changmin wanders over to stand next to the older man. They watch Jaejoong bypass the area around the sink, then the stove, laptop still cradled in his arms as he shakes his head and mumbles to himself about “Stupid Seme!Yunho” and alternately stabs at the space bar.
Stab. Stab. Stab.
“What’s wrong with Hyung?”
“He doesn’t want to be uke.”
“Oh,” Changmin nods his head in dark understanding, “they’re always making me uke too.”
Jaejoong suddenly stops, turns. “Minnie.” He breathes, eyes lighting up on a kindred spirit. “You know how I feel, don’t you?”
“Didn’t I just say that?” Changmin asks.
“You tonally implied.” Yunho corrects.
“Still, it was obvious, right?” Changmin maintains.
“Must’ve been,” Yunho acknowledges, motioning to Jaejoong.
Changmin watches his eldest hyung with both eyebrows raised as Jaejoong dances toward him excitedly, laptop held out in anticipation.
“Will you help me look for Seme!Jae, Uke!Yunho fanfic, Minnie-ah?” Jaejoong implores.
“Um,” Changmin takes the laptop uncertainly, but can’t bring himself to deny the bright flicker of hope shining in Jaejoong’s eyes. “Sure.” He finally shrugs in concession. It’s not like he has anything better to do anyway, other than wait for lunch to be ready.
Also, he really does know how his hyung feels. Damn those KiMin/HoMin fangirls!
Yunho sighs again and decides to just leave the two of them to it. He shuffles into the living room, grabs the latest Bleach manga from the bookshelf and lies down on the couch. He’s halfway through Ichigo’s battle with Ulquoirra when he hears a loud, pitiable cry reverberating all around him.
“What?!! Nooooooooooo!!!!!”
It’s Jaejoong.
Yunho launches off of the couch and races through the apartment with visions of possible bleeding limbs, or worse, uneatable food, filling his mind. He arrives just in time to catch a frightened Changmin in his arms as the youngest flees from the kitchen in a panic.
“My fault.” Changmin gasps, twisting Yunho’s shirt in his hands desperately. “Should’ve read the summary all the way through.”
“What happened?” Yunho demands, but feels relieved that nothing seems to have happened to the food.
Changmin swallows and attempts to explain. “See, he starts off as Player-Seme!Jae. Then he meets you and becomes -”
“WIFEY!Jaejoong!” The eldest stalks from the kitchen with murder in his eyes, zeroing in on HoMin.
“Oh, just bite me already.” Yunho groans under his breath.
Changmin flinches away from Jaejoong’s uber glare of future pain and starvation and ducks behind Yunho’s back to hide.
“Look, I don’t mind being called Umma, okay, because -”
“Because you are.” Yoochun finishes for Jaejoong, suddenly appearing next to Yunho. None of them actually knows when he got there except that he’s not helping.
“Not now, Yoochunnie!” Jaejoong snaps.
“Okay, then.”
“Fine, I admit it.” Jaejoong stabs a finger into Yunho’s chest. Stab. Stab. Stab. “We’re Umma and Appa, but NOT husband and wife! I AM NOT A GIRL!!”
“Are we talking technically or figuratively?” Changmin asks, eyes peeking out over Yunho’s shoulder cautiously.
“Well…” Yoochun considers.
Yunho rubs at his abused chest and says only, “I know. I’m glad.”
Jaejoong loses some of his momentum. “You - you are?”
“Duh!” Changmin rolls his eyes.
“Yeah,” Yoochun agrees.
Yunho just stares at Jaejoong like it should be obvious. “What would I do with you if you were a girl, Jaejoongie?”
It’s not a compliment, not even close, but Jaejoong feels something warm and fuzzy spread from his heart to his toes, to his fingertips, to his head. It’s really nice, kind of bubbly.
“This is what I know.” Yunho expounds. “At the end of the day we still have jobs to do.”
“Mmm-hmm.” Changmin and Yoochun nod.
“Three little ones to raise.”
“Who you calling little?” Changmin mutters.
“And a home to take care of.”
“You mean like cleaning?” Yoochun asks. “Junsu’s the messy one. It wasn’t me.”
“And I’m just glad that I get to do all of that with you. It doesn’t matter to me what others want to label us as.”
Changmin sticks a finger in his mouth and pretends to vomit.
Yoochun giggles behind his hand.
Jaejoong falls a little bit in love with Yunho and slaps himself for it…but not literally.
“I don’t have to be seme.” Yunho offers magnanimously.
“Wait, are we talking about RL!Yunjae or Fanfic!Yunjae?” Changmin asks.
“Neither, we’re talking about Jaeho.” Yoochun titters.
Yunjae is real, Jaejoong thinks and stares at Yunho in helpless admiration, then slaps himself again…but still not literally.
“I don’t mind being uke, as long as you’re the seme.” Yunho smiles with absolute sincerity.
“Whipped.” Changmin declares.
“Sweet.” Yoochun overrides.
“What was I mad about again?” Jaejoong ponders aloud, because he honestly forgets.
Junsu finally decides to make his presence known. He bounces out from behind Yoochun and blinks innocently at the other four. “What’s uke and seme mean?”
Changmin chokes.
“Oh, boy.” Yoochun whistles.
Jaejoong freezes and looks at Yunho.
Yunho grins and slaps a hand down on Jaejoong’s shoulder. “Well, then Seme!Jae, this should be no problem for your manly prowess to handle, right? I’ll just leave it to you, then.”
“But, Yunho-ah -”
“Uke!Yunho.” The leader amends, then waves cheerfully and walks away. Changmin hurries after him.
“Yah, Changmin!” Jaejoong shouts.
“Uke!Changmin.” The maknae mimes and doesn’t slow down at all.
Jaejoong blinks desperately at Yoochun.
“Distract him with cookies.” Yoochun offers, still not helping.
“Ooh, cookies!” Junsu exclaims.
Jaejoong buries his face in his hands and seriously rethinks his position on ukes.
Part Four