TITLE: Beautiful Boy
GENRE: Fluff
RATING: PG-13
PAIRING: Yunjae
LENGTH: One-shot
DISCLAIMER: I do not own DBSK, nor do I know them, so this work is complete and utter fiction. And nobody would pay me money for it.
SUMMARY: Yunho used to think he understood what it meant to love and to be loved in return. He loves dancing. He loves his family and his friends. He loves kimchee jigae and, yes, vanilla ice cream. He thought he knew all the important things that defined that one word. Then he became the leader of TVXQ.
A/N: Inspired because I love them all, but I still love Yunho best...and I still love Jaejoong best with Yunho.
Beautiful Boy
Yunho-hyung is a very well-built, very good-looking man. Still, Yoochun remembers a time when Yunho had funny teeth (which was actually kind of cute) and funny hair (which he, himself, has had more than his fair share of).
It doesn't make Yunho any less TVXQ's alpha-male, and out of all of Yoochun's hyungdeul, Yunho is the last one that Yoochun would ever describe as "beautiful." But that's exactly the word that Jaejoong-hyung has just breathed out next to him, as they stand together watching Yunho dance during rehearsal.
Yoochun could pretend to be confused by that, but he also remembers that, for Jaejoong at least, it's always been that way. Even during the time of funny teeth and funny hair. Yoochun's 99.9% certain it'll probably still be true even during the time of failing teeth and greying hair.
He grins and thinks that's beautiful.
~~~
Yunho-hyung is TVXQ's foundation, as solid and dependable as stone. He always stands with his head high and his back strait. Changmin finds it all very charismatic and works hard to mimic those two habits as perfectly as he can.
But sometimes Yunho-hyung is the hugest dork Changmin has ever known and does the lamest things (even on national televsion). Yet in those moments Jaejoong-hyung will giggle behind his hands and whisper with shining eyes, "Yah, Yunho-ah, that was beautiful."
And for all of Changmin's study and above average IQ, he doesn't get that. Not at all.
But he still notices from the corner of his eye, the way Yunho will turn to Jaejoong then, everything about their leader's countenance, softening, softening. Then there's the brilliant flash of white teeth in a tanned face, and his hyungdeul lost in their own world (even on national television).
Changmin rolls his eyes at it all, but at least he can understand the beauty in that.
~~~
Yunho-hyung is a consummate professional.
So is Junsu, except that he's a lot less obvious about it.
Yunho-hyung is typically well-spoken, well-behaved, and well-liked.
So is Junsu, except that he's a lot less consistent at it...but usually only when Yoochun is around (which is nearly always).
Junsu thinks that Jaejoong-hyung doesn't always appreciate the hard work that he and Yunho-hyung put in to keeping their polished public personas, since the eldest seems to love testing their composure every time he turns his head left and opens his mouth while cameras are rolling.
In a fit of exhaustion/irritation, Junsu had actually asked once, "Why do you always look at Yunho-hyung like that?"
Jaejoong had shrugged, saying, "Can't help it, he's just beautiful."
And Junsu had known in an instant that Jaejoong wasn't just talking about Yunho's face. So, Junsu keeps up with his distracting phrases and subtle nudges or blocks during their never-ending celebrity life because, well...he can't help it, it's just beautiful.
~~~
Yunho is the strongest, most stable person that JJ has ever known (except for Jaejoong's parents). So since Jaejoong feels like he has a lot of weaknesses and since he knows he's a walking contradiction (which isn't that bad since all the people that matter don't mind...much), Yunho's presence in his life is one of the main things that keeps him balanced.
So even though Jaejoong hates it when Yunho - vibrant, capable Yunho - gets sick, he loves how much a helpless Yunho needs him. And even though he finds Yunho stunning in motion, Jaejoong finds Yunho as equally captivating in stillness. Even with red eyes and a runny nose.
"Sorry, Jaejoongie, to be so much trouble. I must look awful." Yunho sniffles.
Jaejoong shakes his head and feeds Yunho another spoonful of soup. "No, you're beautiful." Jaejoong isn't lying.
Yunho smiles and swallows obediently.
~~~
Yunho's career, hell, his whole life for the past 10 years now, is about making people notice him. It's about making them like what they see, once they do. Since TVXQ's debut most of the eyes of the whole of Asia have been on him and his four brothers. Crowds of people screaming his name, telling him he's sexy, telling him he's amazing, telling him how much he's wanted. But it's like touching air with his fingertips. There is nothing substantial about it.
Nothing that makes him feel substantial.
Not like the way Changmin does, when in rare moments of childlike insecurity he'll burrow himself into Yunho's side and cling. Folding his much longer body around his hyung's, until Yunho reassures him that everything is fine. Everything will be fine. And with the solid weight of Changmin secure in his arms, Yunho finally feels real. He finally feels necessary.
It's not that Yunho doesn't appreciate their fans. He does. Gifts, websites, letters, donations - all of it beyond his imagination, his own limitations. It makes him very happy to know that TVXQ has been able to influence so many people in so many positive ways. Still, the responsibility he feels to all these thousands of other lives is more than five young men can possibly carry. He is 23 years old, but his expectations of self are infinitely older.
Infinitely heavier.
Junsu, on the other hand, has barely aged a day since Yunho has met him. The younger man is still filled with restless energy, still shouts nonsensical things into the air, and still laughs hysterically at his own jokes (the kinds that only Yoochun understands). Junsu reminds Yunho of TVXQ's beginning. And every time Junsu turns to Yunho with a smile bright on his face and in his eyes, Yunho remembers a time when their dreams seemed impossible, but they believed in them anyway. Yunho feels more than just lighter then. He feels lifted.
The five of them have worked hard. Yunho knows. They've worked more than was healthy, more than what was physically possible sometimes, more than what was often asked. It has all been worth it. Yunho has never thought otherwise. When TVXQ gets called onto a stage, the gold and silver of trophies pressed into their waiting palms, cheers echoing around them, it is acknowledgement. Of their efforts. Of their talent. Of their sacrifice. It is gratifying, but never completely satisfying. There is always another mountain to climb, another river to cross, another point to prove. His youth and his fame, even his fortune, are fleeting things.
Yunho wants something that will endure.
Something like the songs Yoochun plays for him, barging into Yunho's room with his keyboard in hand, saying, "Hyung, listen to this." Because long after the notes have faded from the air, and the room has gone quiet, Yunho can still hear the melody in his heart.
"Well?" Yoochun will ask, anxious, but hopeful.
"It's unforgettable." Yunho will say. Will mean it.
And the pleasure Yunho sees in Yoochun's eyes, the trust he finds there...it is another precious thing that he has earned. And while TVXQ's awards sit behind gleaming glass, on polished wood shelves, to be touched and glanced at every so often...Yoochun's faith in him is something that Yunho carries with him always. It is one of the four accomplishments in his life that he is the most proud of.
Yunho used to think he understood what it meant to love and to be loved in return. He loves dancing. He loves his family and his friends. He loves kimchee jigae and, yes, vanilla ice cream. He thought he knew all the important things that defined that one word.
Then he became the leader of TVXQ.
When he thinks about things like home and family and peace now, what he sees is Changmin, Junsu, Yoochun, and Jaejoong. He's discovering that love is so much bigger than he ever thought possible.
"Yunho-ah." Jaejoong brushes his hand against Yunho's side and Yunho thinks forever, he sees it here. "Sit down and eat."
Yunho does, looks around the table at his band mates, at his brothers, and searches for Jaejoong's hand under the table, squeezes. Jaejoong squeezes back, smiles, and Yunho feels settled in that way that sinks bone-deep, soul-deep.
"Eat." Jaejoong says, and picks up food from his plate, holds it out for Yunho to take.
Their eyes meet and it all falls into place. Yunho thinks about happiness and thankfulness, he thinks...finally.
Love.
He'd never realized it could be all those things, caught up in one person. It's the most beautiful thing he's ever experienced in his life.
It's Jaejoong.
"Thank you, Jaejoongie." Yunho isn't talking about the food.
"You're welcome." Jaejoong says, as if he understands.
Yunho's sure he does.