(no subject)
i was starting to feel better. woke up on the right side of the bed for sure.
but she continues to be unreasonable. i'm really really glad i don't know all the details cuz otherwise i'd be even more enfuriated. if she can't believe what i say than i'm not going to fucking talk to her. not on her terms or anyone's. she doesn't get to hear my voice for awhile. i thought i wanted to try to make things right and better now. but not now. it'll have to wait. she can fucking hurt all she wants for i care. she needs to stop hurting her friend about this too, or else she's gonna be the one who fucked things up. and she'll say it was my fault. but the pain she's causing now is her own fucking fault. and it's not just one of her friends she's hurting. she's hurting someone i deeply care about. but the only thing i can do to make things any better is to stay out of her life.
and the 'she' i'm talking about this time is by no means the 'she' that has positively occupied all my past entries. things with that beautiful girl are going well. and i'm really excited to see her next wednesday. but i can't stand to hear that she's hurt. especially to know that my sister's the one who's hurting her. my sister doesn't deserve my apologies right now. i was genuine yesterday when i left an apology message, she thought it was a lie. it was genuine then, but i take it back. i fucking take that shit back.
but she continues to be unreasonable. i'm really really glad i don't know all the details cuz otherwise i'd be even more enfuriated. if she can't believe what i say than i'm not going to fucking talk to her. not on her terms or anyone's. she doesn't get to hear my voice for awhile. i thought i wanted to try to make things right and better now. but not now. it'll have to wait. she can fucking hurt all she wants for i care. she needs to stop hurting her friend about this too, or else she's gonna be the one who fucked things up. and she'll say it was my fault. but the pain she's causing now is her own fucking fault. and it's not just one of her friends she's hurting. she's hurting someone i deeply care about. but the only thing i can do to make things any better is to stay out of her life.
and the 'she' i'm talking about this time is by no means the 'she' that has positively occupied all my past entries. things with that beautiful girl are going well. and i'm really excited to see her next wednesday. but i can't stand to hear that she's hurt. especially to know that my sister's the one who's hurting her. my sister doesn't deserve my apologies right now. i was genuine yesterday when i left an apology message, she thought it was a lie. it was genuine then, but i take it back. i fucking take that shit back.