We're off to see the Wizard...
I have gotten use to Jayson being gone. I don’t really see how some wives just stay depressed from the time they leave until they get back. I can see being sad, but I know a girl from Fort Campbell who literally doesn’t leave her house and just cries all the damn time since her husband has been gone. Does that make her a better wife than me? I don’t think so; I think it shows our different personalities. I have always been independent and I refuse to let one person being gone make my life miserable. It really is no way to live your life. I tell her all the time to “get out of the house” and she says “You don’t understand”. So the fact that my husband isn’t in Iraq makes things easier? I don’t think so. I would honestly trade my husband for a year in Iraq to have him home for a whole steady year. He deploys like the Coast Guard I believe even though he is a Marine. He is gone on average 8 months a year. He is usually here a month, gone two, and so on until around Thanksgiving when he is home on a regular basis. I always thought a deployment was a deployment, but not during wartime. There become “cliques” so to say, as in “feel more sorry for me because my husband is in Iraq” even though yours may be in Afghanistan or Japan or even the Big Island of Hawaii as mine. It hurts the same no matter where they are. I feel sorry for the Navy wives…whose husband’s may be 3 miles from them docked somewhere but they can’t go and see them. Imagine how pissed off that would make you. Maybe my friend is just very weak…but she really needs to get some Zoloft or whatever and get a life.
The first night I had a hard time sleeping. I had nightmare after nightmare until the dog finally jumped in bed by me and lay in Jayson’s place. I think he knew I needed him next to me. I’ve been keeping busy; Mari has been keeping me busy. Mandy’s friend left to go back to the mainland so hopefully I can get out with her some more. Of course it is hard to do anything I enjoy with her because she has a baby, we cant just go to the beach, we have to go to a calm beach (Ko oLina) that is boring for me because I like a little bit of waves. I love her little girl as much as I possibly can but I can’t do the things with her that I can with like Mari, Nicole, Lety, Camden ect. I’ve been working more hours since Jayson left as well. I am so glad I am able to work, if I had to sit in my small apartment everyday and live for the 1st and the 15th I would honestly lose my mind. That is how it was before I started working in June. Terrible.
I’ve been writing Jayson a lot of emails. I’ve been a bad wife last time he went to HCAX I hardly even wrote him. But I am doing better this time around. He left on bad terms but I realized we always get grumpy with each other before he leaves for deployment. It is a given. I love him to death though, he just annoys me a lot haha. No workie workie for me tomorrow! I have to go to Old Navy and exchange all the clothes I got Jayson for Christmas from there. He says they look like “Male Stripper Clothes” he is such a goon. Mari lives across the street from Old Navy so I will go over here house afterwards and go across the street and play some tennis with her. We are planning on going to Outback afterwards. I wish I had plans for tonight, but I don’t. I guess I will be lazy. Nicole just texted me, she is excited about Friday. We are going to Waikiki to people watch, this time I will try and take some pictures. Well damn this is a lot of typing..sometimes my brain works way too fast. That’s it for now.