FML.
I've accept that this is a sounding board for the things I can't articulate, and in that capacity I'm here again. I've already laid out the reasons for why I can't say these things, but let me reiterate: the process of writing them down allows for organization, and allows me to avoid the pitfalls of becoming too emotionally charged.
There are so many things I hate about myself that I believe that, instead of being a person who was primarily characterized by happiness and good humor, I've become a person characterized by vitriol and unfulfilled fantasy.
The emotions I've been able to feel in the past couple of days have been anger, frustration, and loss. I've reached a point in the process of trying to get out of this situation where I've become hopelessly tangled in the various threads of plans and attempts, and I've wriggled around to the point where everything's begin to draw tight, and I can't move anymore.
Relationships, good ones, are based on compromise and a willingness to understand - when did we lose that? When we argue now all we do is get angry. There are no constructive points made, only constant criticism and finger pointing. I get blamed for everything under the sun, and all I can do is counter-attack.
I am so sick of giving up on what I want. I spend the first half two day weekend dreading the second half. I get irritable because I don't eat, because my appetite is completely gone - I don't feel hunger anymore, only a pain in my stomach every three or four hours.
Something's got to give.
There are so many things I hate about myself that I believe that, instead of being a person who was primarily characterized by happiness and good humor, I've become a person characterized by vitriol and unfulfilled fantasy.
The emotions I've been able to feel in the past couple of days have been anger, frustration, and loss. I've reached a point in the process of trying to get out of this situation where I've become hopelessly tangled in the various threads of plans and attempts, and I've wriggled around to the point where everything's begin to draw tight, and I can't move anymore.
Relationships, good ones, are based on compromise and a willingness to understand - when did we lose that? When we argue now all we do is get angry. There are no constructive points made, only constant criticism and finger pointing. I get blamed for everything under the sun, and all I can do is counter-attack.
I am so sick of giving up on what I want. I spend the first half two day weekend dreading the second half. I get irritable because I don't eat, because my appetite is completely gone - I don't feel hunger anymore, only a pain in my stomach every three or four hours.
Something's got to give.