It was all beautiful, and nothing hurt.

[npon]

There are times when I surround myself with people that I feel could not really care less about me. However, there are a handful who are genuinely beautiful and understanding. I don't know what it is about this place that makes everyone so upset - maybe it's the lack of nature, poor opportunities, or maybe it's seeing those you spent countless days with move on and grow farther apart from you. I have never felt extremly close to many, although I have spent the past three years calling them friends. I have found myself loving, and having a stronger relationship with the people I have recently met. It's extremly disheartening, but also empowering to push on harder for a better future. We are all faced with a constant struggle, and a busy life - when a lot of times we are just too tired to do much. I do not know anyone anymore, aside from the bullshit capable of being conversed in a quick minute. I barely see anyone, and feel pushed away. I would love to have stronger relationships, trusty relationships, and even not so serious ones - as long as we can smile and I can feel sincerity. I sit alone a lot now, pondering what everyone is doing, but can't find a reason to call. It's to the point where I'd rather be at home, reading than go out - because I feel like I wouldn't be missed otherwise.

I cannot wait to get out of here, but I want to hang on to the couple strong, healthy relationships I have.