(no subject)
so now it's been six months since i was dumped and the pain from that is the same. and i can count my "real-life" friends on half of one hand. and very few of my virtual friends seem to give a fuck. maybe they don't know what's going on. that i really want to end things somehow. maybe move and not tell anyone in my life. maybe have an accident. i don't know. but things cannot go on the way they have been because i'm going to lose my mind utterly, and right now i can barely think rationally.
i talked to my psychiatrist / therapist for 1.5 hrs or so today and i'm now on about 6-7 psych meds along with three other meds for asthma and migraines. yeah. should any human being have to live with this much suffering? i double over in pain and sometimes fall over just trying to clean my room or the litter box cos of my asthma.
sometimes i think my head's going to implode from the migraines or there'll somehow be permanent damage and i won't have my literary talent - which is ALL I HAVE - any more.
i don't want to take meds anymore and i don't think i wanna talk to anyone for a while, though it would be really nice to be held, i think. maybe.
i talked to my psychiatrist / therapist for 1.5 hrs or so today and i'm now on about 6-7 psych meds along with three other meds for asthma and migraines. yeah. should any human being have to live with this much suffering? i double over in pain and sometimes fall over just trying to clean my room or the litter box cos of my asthma.
sometimes i think my head's going to implode from the migraines or there'll somehow be permanent damage and i won't have my literary talent - which is ALL I HAVE - any more.
i don't want to take meds anymore and i don't think i wanna talk to anyone for a while, though it would be really nice to be held, i think. maybe.