ashes to ashes
Today is Ash Wednesday; the first day of Lent. I struggled with what to give up for the Lenten season. Should I give up Sodas? Maybe it should be chocolate, perhaps I should give up making fun of the less intelligent - but that's the only fun I have, besides Republicans and stalkers just make it far too easy. What I decided to give up is my tendency to be a martyr. In order to do that I need to give up being a doormat for those I care about and then give up the wounded look I've perfected in order to solicit their crumbs of compassion.
Today I am drawing a line, and when it's crossed I will firmly say, "No. Back off."
Actually, in many ways, I'm really doing something for Lent. I'm going to exercise self-care. I'm recognizing that I am important, that I matter and that other's attempts at guilt-tripping me into submission will not work. I can't take the sense of dread, the stomach churning weight induced by self-indulgent whining of others. If I'm expected to solve other's problems, they need to look elsewhere. I cannot listen to the cries and complaints and the advice seeking - especially when I've given it or offered explanations to that nagging question, "Why?" and it is rejected because it doesn't support a desired outcome.
We are given life for a reason, and when it's sacrificed for another's selfish desires, then it is a life wasted.