Okay, upon review of the application there are a few things I would like for you to fix/elaborate on.
Firstly, there are a few easilly fixed typos in the "Physical Description" section. You put "preys" instead of "prays" and "too" instead of "two." Also, you have Muggle Studies listed as an easy 'O' in the weaknesses section but do not have it listed as a taken subject.
We're also concerned about the choice of PB. Kate Bosworth is 27, more than ten years older than Louise. More importantly, Kate Bosworth didn't get much or any recognition until 2000 (her only previous credit on imdb was as an extra). Any pictures of Kate Bosworth would show her to be at least five years older than the character. I'd like to ask you to reconsider this choice. In the same line, the physical description mentions different coloured eyes? We'd ask that this also be reconsidered.
Could you please add a city/town to the location question? Keep in mind that there is currently an abundance of students from London and there is currently a cap in place. But have your pick of anywhere else in the country!
We would like to ask you for a little more information of Lou's earlier Hogwarts years as well as more elaboration on her personality. For example, how does the fear of birds (which is brilliant btw) affect her in the morning when the post arrives? How does she judge subjects on being useful etc.
In terms of family, do her brothers also attend Hogwarts? How did her parents meet? Due to the Muggle Secrecy Act, her mother would not be allowed to reveal her wizarding heritage to her father. Does her mother lie to her father about her job?
I think that Lou *could* be a Ravenclaw, but it will require a little more work. I don't see her at all suited to Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, really. So, Lou doesn't have to be awesome at school, but she does need a little more interest in learning about things (I see inklings of this in her little obsessions). Perhaps she's the type to move from one interest to another without ever sticking to anything for long. Also, her interest in gossip and secrets also shows some Claw type personality. Again, a bit of elaboration on this would be appreciated.
Eh, sorry it's taken me so long. Real life caught up to me and beat me with a stick. Now I'm back, and in need of a distractions.
H'okay, so. I fixed the typos, and added Muggle studies to her optional third class with an O. Her hometown is Poole, England.
I can understand where you’re coming from about Kate Bosworth, but I personally think that she is one of those people that look young until they’re 40. I wont be a pain about it and argue, but I would like to point out that Evangeline Lily is the four years older than Kate Bosworth is. Anyways, I modified her appearance and was wondering if switching to Laura Ramsey okay? Two different colored eyes were there because of Kate Bosworth's eyes are two different colors. If I’m not using her as my PB than Lou doesn’t need to have different colored eyes. New Eye Description They’re a dark grew color and although Louise isn’t a big fan of make up, she usually wears heavy black eyeliner and mascara to make them seem darker than they actually are.
Personality Louise is also a very curious person. If she wants to know something, she’ll pursue it, much like she pursues her obsessions. At one year old, she was introduced to the word ‘why’, and ever since then it has been her favorite word. She likes to know what’s going on, but she wants to know the cause of it even more. My stomach hurts. What did she do to make it that way. Those kinds of things.
Weakness Lou has trouble learning when she can’t understand why she’s learning it. She's like a three-year-old in that sense ('Why can't I eat the raw dough? It's going to be in my tummy later anyways.'). This concept applies to everything. If it’s not going to help her in the long run, why is she even wasting her time on it now? This is why some subjects confuse her, such as Transfiguration.
Fears Her first breakfast at Hogwarts was a nightmare. She didn’t realize that owls were going to be swooping in and dropping things on her so she freaked out, flung the plate of eggs she was eating at one, and ran out of the hall. Since then, she has eaten early in the AM and gotten out of the Great Hall before the owls came with the post.
History I mean that her father was a muggleborn wizard. I’m sorry. I elaborated on the relationship of her parents a little bit as well as her brothers. Her mother was a pureblood wizard and her father was a muggle-born. When they were at Hogwarts, her father and her mother were both in Gryffindor. The pair were best friends in school, and eventually dated once they were released into the real world. Her mother became a healer and her father elected to choose to take a non-magical career as an athletic instructor at a local, muggle gym. Lou’s father inherited his parents house when they died, and he and her mother moved into the cozy four-bedroom house.
Louise is the middle child. She’s sandwiched between two boys that absolutely love to torture her. While she’s less than a year apart from both of them, their age is about the only aspect that they’re close in. Patrick is a fourth year Hufflepuff, and Greg is a sixth year Gryffindor. Her older brother and her bond over sarcastic conversations, but he likes poking fun at her more. Her younger brother and her have a different relationship, to say the least. They get along better than Lou does with her older brother. Patrick, however, likes hanging out with Greg more. They have complicated relationships.
Louise loves Hogwarts. She has since she was 11 and saw it practically glowing across the lake. When she got there, the sense of freedom was overwhelming and she did a little poorly with her time management. After a week or so she got into the swing of things and started doing better in most of her classes. Though she was mischievous, she didn’t start pulling her pranks until she was in her third year. I know you wanted more on her early years, but this is all I got wehn I went at it. I think I'll be able to elaborate more once she has backstories with people.
My apologies for taking so long to get back to you. My life decided to take the baseball bat route ;)
1. You must comment here to acknowledge this approval.
2. You must add your PB to the PB list by leaving a comment there in the preferred format.
3. Only applies to characters with Order members, or who have family who are in the Order: You must reply to the Order post to have your character or family members be in the Order (even if it was in your app).
4. Only applies to characters who are Death Eaters, or who have family who are Death Eaters: You must reply to the Death Eater post to have your character or family members be Death Eaters (even if it was in your app).
5. You must run the friend add/remove command through your character's journal. Instructions can be found in that entry.
After doing those steps you may request membership to np_hogwarts, np_atlas, and np_chatter, joining those with your character journal is compulsory, however you have the option to also use your personal journal. Membership will only be granted if you have completed the above five steps.
Once you have done those things, feel free to comment to the age listing with the ages of your character's family (played characters are added automatically), although this is not mandatory.
Firstly, there are a few easilly fixed typos in the "Physical Description" section. You put "preys" instead of "prays" and "too" instead of "two." Also, you have Muggle Studies listed as an easy 'O' in the weaknesses section but do not have it listed as a taken subject.
We're also concerned about the choice of PB. Kate Bosworth is 27, more than ten years older than Louise. More importantly, Kate Bosworth didn't get much or any recognition until 2000 (her only previous credit on imdb was as an extra). Any pictures of Kate Bosworth would show her to be at least five years older than the character. I'd like to ask you to reconsider this choice. In the same line, the physical description mentions different coloured eyes? We'd ask that this also be reconsidered.
Could you please add a city/town to the location question? Keep in mind that there is currently an abundance of students from London and there is currently a cap in place. But have your pick of anywhere else in the country!
We would like to ask you for a little more information of Lou's earlier Hogwarts years as well as more elaboration on her personality. For example, how does the fear of birds (which is brilliant btw) affect her in the morning when the post arrives? How does she judge subjects on being useful etc.
In terms of family, do her brothers also attend Hogwarts? How did her parents meet? Due to the Muggle Secrecy Act, her mother would not be allowed to reveal her wizarding heritage to her father. Does her mother lie to her father about her job?
I think that Lou *could* be a Ravenclaw, but it will require a little more work. I don't see her at all suited to Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, really. So, Lou doesn't have to be awesome at school, but she does need a little more interest in learning about things (I see inklings of this in her little obsessions). Perhaps she's the type to move from one interest to another without ever sticking to anything for long. Also, her interest in gossip and secrets also shows some Claw type personality. Again, a bit of elaboration on this would be appreciated.
Thank you for your patience.
Reply
H'okay, so. I fixed the typos, and added Muggle studies to her optional third class with an O. Her hometown is Poole, England.
I can understand where you’re coming from about Kate Bosworth, but I personally think that she is one of those people that look young until they’re 40. I wont be a pain about it and argue, but I would like to point out that Evangeline Lily is the four years older than Kate Bosworth is. Anyways, I modified her appearance and was wondering if switching to Laura Ramsey okay? Two different colored eyes were there because of Kate Bosworth's eyes are two different colors. If I’m not using her as my PB than Lou doesn’t need to have different colored eyes.
New Eye Description
They’re a dark grew color and although Louise isn’t a big fan of make up, she usually wears heavy black eyeliner and mascara to make them seem darker than they actually are.
Personality
Louise is also a very curious person. If she wants to know something, she’ll pursue it, much like she pursues her obsessions. At one year old, she was introduced to the word ‘why’, and ever since then it has been her favorite word. She likes to know what’s going on, but she wants to know the cause of it even more. My stomach hurts. What did she do to make it that way. Those kinds of things.
Weakness
Lou has trouble learning when she can’t understand why she’s learning it. She's like a three-year-old in that sense ('Why can't I eat the raw dough? It's going to be in my tummy later anyways.'). This concept applies to everything. If it’s not going to help her in the long run, why is she even wasting her time on it now? This is why some subjects confuse her, such as Transfiguration.
Fears
Her first breakfast at Hogwarts was a nightmare. She didn’t realize that owls were going to be swooping in and dropping things on her so she freaked out, flung the plate of eggs she was eating at one, and ran out of the hall. Since then, she has eaten early in the AM and gotten out of the Great Hall before the owls came with the post.
History
I mean that her father was a muggleborn wizard. I’m sorry. I elaborated on the relationship of her parents a little bit as well as her brothers.
Her mother was a pureblood wizard and her father was a muggle-born. When they were at Hogwarts, her father and her mother were both in Gryffindor. The pair were best friends in school, and eventually dated once they were released into the real world. Her mother became a healer and her father elected to choose to take a non-magical career as an athletic instructor at a local, muggle gym. Lou’s father inherited his parents house when they died, and he and her mother moved into the cozy four-bedroom house.
Louise is the middle child. She’s sandwiched between two boys that absolutely love to torture her. While she’s less than a year apart from both of them, their age is about the only aspect that they’re close in. Patrick is a fourth year Hufflepuff, and Greg is a sixth year Gryffindor. Her older brother and her bond over sarcastic conversations, but he likes poking fun at her more. Her younger brother and her have a different relationship, to say the least. They get along better than Lou does with her older brother. Patrick, however, likes hanging out with Greg more. They have complicated relationships.
Louise loves Hogwarts. She has since she was 11 and saw it practically glowing across the lake. When she got there, the sense of freedom was overwhelming and she did a little poorly with her time management. After a week or so she got into the swing of things and started doing better in most of her classes. Though she was mischievous, she didn’t start pulling her pranks until she was in her third year.
I know you wanted more on her early years, but this is all I got wehn I went at it. I think I'll be able to elaborate more once she has backstories with people.
Reply
1. You must comment here to acknowledge this approval.
2. You must add your PB to the PB list by leaving a comment there in the preferred format.
3. Only applies to characters with Order members, or who have family who are in the Order: You must reply to the Order post to have your character or family members be in the Order (even if it was in your app).
4. Only applies to characters who are Death Eaters, or who have family who are Death Eaters: You must reply to the Death Eater post to have your character or family members be Death Eaters (even if it was in your app).
5. You must run the friend add/remove command through your character's journal. Instructions can be found in that entry.
After doing those steps you may request membership to np_hogwarts, np_atlas, and np_chatter, joining those with your character journal is compulsory, however you have the option to also use your personal journal. Membership will only be granted if you have completed the above five steps.
Once you have done those things, feel free to comment to the age listing with the ages of your character's family (played characters are added automatically), although this is not mandatory.
Reply
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