Her divination and charms ability need explained quite a bit more. That they are games, or that she has intuition, are not enough for her to gain an O, or do well in the classes.
The Celts once occupied a large region of Europe, and even areas down near Turkey. So, even if a name was Celtic and the people running the generator were right... it doesn't mean it's Irish. It could be Galatian, which would place her family down in the near East. You would be better off going to a Irish baby names website and selecting names from there.
The wand core is not a canon Ollivander wand. If you do not select one of the canon Ollivander wand cores, I will have to request that her wand is below par/inferior to Ollivander wands. This has to be acknowledged, and mentioned in threads, etc. Basically... she's better off having a canon Ollivander wand core. Believe me, this is researched, and has precendents from other applications. It took other applicants weeks to convince me to let them have a wand. And their wand is also acknowledged as being inferior.
I still need elaboration on what the half-blood actually means. Who in her family is Muggle, etc.
Also, her parents' career is not an acceptable one for the game's current story. Muggle and wizarding relations are not encouraged, and the ministry would not allow such a business to register. Even unregistered, it would be shut down almost immediately. Most probably in a violent manner.
Finally, this application needs a lot more elaboration, and a lot more substance and reasoning. Once you've done what I've asked above, please go through the app and imagine for every single statement you have made about her, there is a why? Or a how? While you have a skeleton of a character, we need reasoning and explanations. Things like Her family is mentioned in most of her answers, which is fine--but if they are that important, then there should be some explanation as to how they became so important to her. 8:00:55 AM idleclockwork
Finally, this application needs a lot more elaboration, and a lot more substance and reasoning. Once you've done what I've asked above, please go through the app and imagine for every single statement you have made about her, there is a why? Or a how? While you have a skeleton of a character, we need reasoning and explanations. Why her family is so important- what have they done for her, what is it that has happened in her life that encourages such loyalty?
We also need the history of the character herself- what has happened so far in her thirteen years of life? Not just background, not just about her family, but the character herself. Childhood experiences, Hogwarts experiences, why does she feel as though she fits in both worlds?
Sorry to do this to you, but would you be able to put in the formatting? It makes it a whole lot easier to read, and this is going to be her permanent profile.
The Celts once occupied a large region of Europe, and even areas down near Turkey. So, even if a name was Celtic and the people running the generator were right... it doesn't mean it's Irish. It could be Galatian, which would place her family down in the near East. You would be better off going to a Irish baby names website and selecting names from there.
The wand core is not a canon Ollivander wand. If you do not select one of the canon Ollivander wand cores, I will have to request that her wand is below par/inferior to Ollivander wands. This has to be acknowledged, and mentioned in threads, etc. Basically... she's better off having a canon Ollivander wand core. Believe me, this is researched, and has precendents from other applications. It took other applicants weeks to convince me to let them have a wand. And their wand is also acknowledged as being inferior.
I still need elaboration on what the half-blood actually means. Who in her family is Muggle, etc.
Also, her parents' career is not an acceptable one for the game's current story. Muggle and wizarding relations are not encouraged, and the ministry would not allow such a business to register. Even unregistered, it would be shut down almost immediately. Most probably in a violent manner.
Finally, this application needs a lot more elaboration, and a lot more substance and reasoning. Once you've done what I've asked above, please go through the app and imagine for every single statement you have made about her, there is a why? Or a how? While you have a skeleton of a character, we need reasoning and explanations. Things like Her family is mentioned in most of her answers, which is fine--but if they are that important, then there should be some explanation as to how they became so important to her.
8:00:55 AM
idleclockwork
Finally, this application needs a lot more elaboration, and a lot more substance and reasoning. Once you've done what I've asked above, please go through the app and imagine for every single statement you have made about her, there is a why? Or a how? While you have a skeleton of a character, we need reasoning and explanations. Why her family is so important- what have they done for her, what is it that has happened in her life that encourages such loyalty?
We also need the history of the character herself- what has happened so far in her thirteen years of life? Not just background, not just about her family, but the character herself. Childhood experiences, Hogwarts experiences, why does she feel as though she fits in both worlds?
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