"Alright, SO," Derek said as Anora and he made their way into the Great Hall, "here's the plan. I was talking to Anya, right? And it occurred to me that what we need to do, is start taking resumes for blokes that want to date her. Except," he clarified quickly, "obviously not REAL resumes. Or blokes. We'll just write these horrible letters and forward them to the twins and claim that we need help sorting through all the applicants because there are just too many."
How better to horrify Darin and Taylor? Derek, for one, thought it would work quite well for his purposes.
Re: Thursday, Oct. 19th - Dinneranora_beeDecember 6 2007, 06:19:25 UTC
Anora plunked herself down next to Derek and listened intently to this plan. Upon hearing the full detail of its majesty, she burst out laughing. "That..is GENIUS," she said with a wicked grin. Not to mention, they would have a blast writing them. "Yes! And we can just say they had to remain anonymous so that there weren't any preconceived ideas, and that the innocent random blokes don't start getting hate mail from them. OH man, we can make them so pretentious, too. Or incredibly nerdy. Taylor would hate the thought of a total lameoid dating his sister." She knew this mostly because of the countless occasions they had spent sitting in the library setting piles of books to go toppling on these certain type of individuals heads.
"Oh, this will be simply brilliant," she kept the same grin and started filling it with all sorts of delicious dinner-y foods.
Re: Thursday, Oct. 19th - Dinnerderek_blyDecember 6 2007, 06:49:37 UTC
"Exactly!" Derek grinned. He knew Anora would appreciate the simple effectiveness of the plan. And she was just the person to help- would have been even if they hadn't already agreed that some DeLouise pranking needed to be done. "The more outrageous the better, really. Even if they don't believe us, they'll still be horrified," he nodded seriously, starting to dish himself food. They'd probably have just as much fun writing the things as getting the inevitable response which made the whole thing even better.
"YES. They'll hate nerdy. Pretentious too. Maybe throw in a few obvious Slytherin cliques and stalker Puffs?" This would be fun. "And you know we can just keep writing them for the next few weeks. Get an entire STACK of them send."
Re: Thursday, Oct. 19th - Dinneranora_beeDecember 6 2007, 07:15:57 UTC
Oh, Anora definitely appreciated the 'brilliant in all its simplicity' kind of plans. "Oh yeah, for SURE. As long as we plant the seed of doubt? We'll have them hooked. They'll never have any way of finding out for certain whether or not it's a giant joke or not."
She would always find sending totally fake owls to people highly amusing, and this made it all the better. "Ooh, sounds good. We should write one and make it sound as Boyko-ish as possible. That would really set 'em off." Heh heh. "Hell, we could probably get Boyko to write one himself if we threatened him enough," her laughter was borderline cackling now. Oh, scheming. Such fun, such fun.
Re: Thursday, Oct. 19th - Dinnerderek_blyDecember 6 2007, 07:32:36 UTC
The Boyko letter started Derek on a fit of laughter. "Oh, Merlin. This is too good. Though, I think I'd be a little disturbed if we had Boyko write something himself." Where was that creepy Hufflepuff anyway? Derek glanced around but happily the individual in question didn't seem to be anywhere near by. "Though, so long as we don't tell him what it's for or why..." It was hard to beat insanity from the insane.
Re: Thursday, Oct. 19th - Dinneranora_beeDecember 6 2007, 08:10:54 UTC
Derek's laughter was highly contagious, and soon Nora nearly had tears in her eyes. "Yeah, you're probably rght," she said breathlessly. "I got a little carried away there.." But honestly, if she never got carried away, she wouldn't be half as interesting as she thought herself to be.
"But, if the opportunity ever arises? Hm, you know we should probably get a sample of his handwriting, I burned all of the creepy poetry he sent me last term," she said. "But you know I'm half-decent with a quill when it comes to writing imitation, and if we can get a letter that sounds more or less like him to stick in amongst the fray, it might be one of our best plans yet."
Re: Thursday, Oct. 19th - Dinnerderek_blyDecember 8 2007, 02:31:50 UTC
"He wrote you poetry?" Derek asked, latching onto what was clearly the most important and disturbing thing she's said. That was one detail from last year's crazy he felt sure he hadn't heard yet. "Merlin. It's a wonder none of us did kill him. Was it full of flowery metaphors and accompanied by bits of his own hair?"
Derek had noticed that the bloke looked distinctly less off this year (ditching the cape was a serious improvement) but Boyko was still the first person that came to mind when Derek thought 'playing with less than a full deck'.
Re: Thursday, Oct. 19th - Dinneranora_beeDecember 8 2007, 06:44:08 UTC
"Yeahhh he did," she said. "It was rather disturbing. I think he was trying to be sincere, but one of the lines was something about seeing me through my window while he's standing in a tree outside."
Yeah, creepiest piece of writing she'd ever laid eyes on, ever.
"I have never kept my window open at night since I got that," she said, as she did sleep right next to the biggest window in her dorm. Oh, Merlin.
"But yes, he did add some dried and pressed flowers into the parchment. I burned it them," she nodded and took a bite of the lettuce on her plate. "ANYWAYS, needless to say I kept one of them for future blackmail material, but I burned the rest on account of..ew."
Re: Thursday, Oct. 19th - Dinnerderek_blyDecember 8 2007, 07:25:26 UTC
"I am officially creeped out," Derek decided. Spying from trees and pressed flowers? No normal blokes acted like that. "Though, at least there aren't any tall enough trees near the castle for that to have been based in fact. Unless he knows where you live at home?" Okay, that was bad. Derek felt dirtier for having even thought it and now for some reason he was picturing Boyko hovering outside her window on a broom for lack of trees. "Ew. You know what, never mind. I'm going to stop thinking," he said.
Time to focus on food or something. Yes. Look at this lovely plate right in front of him waiting to be filled. Derek should get on that.
Re: Thursday, Oct. 19th - Dinneranora_beeDecember 8 2007, 08:07:55 UTC
Anora more or less paled at this comment. "Oh, dear. I didn't even think about home. The home where I have a giant oak tree outside my window which has always made for a great getaway route but..oh man."
NOT.GOOD.
"It's probably just a coincidence, right?" PLEASE, PLEASE be a coincidence.
Re: Thursday, Oct. 19th - Dinnerderek_blyDecember 8 2007, 21:26:54 UTC
"You actually have a tree?!" Derek asked, shocked and horrified. "Oh, Merlin. I would not have said that if I knew you had a tree." Oh, this visual was getting worse and worse.
"It has to be a coincidence. I mean, lots of people have trees. And you guys must have some kind of security right? Charms and wards and stuff? I would think most dads probably ward trees outside of their daughter's rooms." Now that he had this in his head, Derek certainly would if he ever had a daughter. For that matter he was inclined to track Hannah down and see if she had any trees at home that needed warding. Trees, windows, poorly designed bathrooms...
"Alright, SO," Derek said as Anora and he made their way into the Great Hall, "here's the plan. I was talking to Anya, right? And it occurred to me that what we need to do, is start taking resumes for blokes that want to date her. Except," he clarified quickly, "obviously not REAL resumes. Or blokes. We'll just write these horrible letters and forward them to the twins and claim that we need help sorting through all the applicants because there are just too many."
How better to horrify Darin and Taylor? Derek, for one, thought it would work quite well for his purposes.
Reply
"Oh, this will be simply brilliant," she kept the same grin and started filling it with all sorts of delicious dinner-y foods.
Reply
"YES. They'll hate nerdy. Pretentious too. Maybe throw in a few obvious Slytherin cliques and stalker Puffs?" This would be fun. "And you know we can just keep writing them for the next few weeks. Get an entire STACK of them send."
Reply
She would always find sending totally fake owls to people highly amusing, and this made it all the better. "Ooh, sounds good. We should write one and make it sound as Boyko-ish as possible. That would really set 'em off." Heh heh. "Hell, we could probably get Boyko to write one himself if we threatened him enough," her laughter was borderline cackling now. Oh, scheming. Such fun, such fun.
Reply
Reply
"But, if the opportunity ever arises? Hm, you know we should probably get a sample of his handwriting, I burned all of the creepy poetry he sent me last term," she said. "But you know I'm half-decent with a quill when it comes to writing imitation, and if we can get a letter that sounds more or less like him to stick in amongst the fray, it might be one of our best plans yet."
Reply
Derek had noticed that the bloke looked distinctly less off this year (ditching the cape was a serious improvement) but Boyko was still the first person that came to mind when Derek thought 'playing with less than a full deck'.
Reply
Yeah, creepiest piece of writing she'd ever laid eyes on, ever.
"I have never kept my window open at night since I got that," she said, as she did sleep right next to the biggest window in her dorm. Oh, Merlin.
"But yes, he did add some dried and pressed flowers into the parchment. I burned it them," she nodded and took a bite of the lettuce on her plate. "ANYWAYS, needless to say I kept one of them for future blackmail material, but I burned the rest on account of..ew."
Reply
Time to focus on food or something. Yes. Look at this lovely plate right in front of him waiting to be filled. Derek should get on that.
Reply
NOT.GOOD.
"It's probably just a coincidence, right?"
PLEASE, PLEASE be a coincidence.
Reply
"It has to be a coincidence. I mean, lots of people have trees. And you guys must have some kind of security right? Charms and wards and stuff? I would think most dads probably ward trees outside of their daughter's rooms." Now that he had this in his head, Derek certainly would if he ever had a daughter. For that matter he was inclined to track Hannah down and see if she had any trees at home that needed warding. Trees, windows, poorly designed bathrooms...
Reply
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