'Tis done
I took my sister down to the vet with me, for support. My cat was visibly weak, visibly impaired -- he could barely walk -- and visibly unhappy. We spent some time cuddling him, but although he may have licked our hands once, he seemed to take little comfort from it, and let out the saddest meows I've ever heard. The vet explained how the putting to sleep worked -- she would give him an overdose of anesthetic in his catheter, and there would be no pain -- and I held him while she administered it. Then she left us alone with him, and I held him and cried for a while. Then she took him away, wrapped in a blanket. I wish I'd had a camera to take a last picture of him wrapped in the blanket -- he looked like he was just sleeping.
I've wanted all along to bury him in my parents' back garden. We talked about doing it tomorrow, but tomorrow my parents have my disabled aunt over and it's Easter dinner. The vet clinic agreed to hold the body for another week, when we can invite a couple of friends up and have a little wake.
'Tis done. I feel ... oddly serene. I'm not sure if I've taken it in and have accepted it, or if I haven't quite realized what has happened. Most likely I'm keeping it at bay. But I'm not in any mood to put away the cat dishes and the toys just yet.
I've wanted all along to bury him in my parents' back garden. We talked about doing it tomorrow, but tomorrow my parents have my disabled aunt over and it's Easter dinner. The vet clinic agreed to hold the body for another week, when we can invite a couple of friends up and have a little wake.
'Tis done. I feel ... oddly serene. I'm not sure if I've taken it in and have accepted it, or if I haven't quite realized what has happened. Most likely I'm keeping it at bay. But I'm not in any mood to put away the cat dishes and the toys just yet.