Almost 29 years and I'm just now getting a clue.
So a friend of mine told her male co-worker that she was planning on having Dance, Dance, Revolution at her Halloween party. He told her "What? No one will want to go to one of your parties ever again."
She got very angry. She enjoys the game, and figures that lots of others will too. She thought he was a total asshole for saying it.
Yeah, the way he phrased it was pretty stupid. But I know for a fact that he thought he was being nice and thoughtful.
See, men have an issue. It's a little like tact, a little like manners and a lot like trying to treat women like they're your friends.
Women can be a friend, but they are not like your guy friends. I can tell my guy friends that their shirt makes their manboobs look like pendulous watermelons attached to his chest by copious amounts of fat.
I could never say that to a woman. Even a woman who was my friend for years and years. In fact, it's better that a man never point out any flaws on a woman. If she walks in wearing a full length muu-muu, you'd best pretend you see nothing. Or compliment her on it. One of Sara's male friends told her "You would look good if only you work makeup." I'm positive he didn't mean that in a mean-spirited way. It's just the way men think. And speak.
Cause girls aren't guys. I know, they harp about being treated equally and complain about not being in on guy jokes. But honestly,ladies, that's because guy jokes are usually pre-pubescent and stupid. Or scatalogical and disgusting. They're still funny, but you know, only funny to us.
I have learned, in my soon to be 29 years, that women don't want the truth about very much, and definitely don't want the truth about how something looks. If it makes her look like a cow with wings growing out of her back, you'd better just tell her you would wear something else. Telling her that you wouldn't go out in public with her if she killed you and stapled you to her back, not a good way to let her know your feelings. And if she really loves it. I mean LOVES IT, validate her love, be happy for her, bite back your comments and be a man. Pretend you love it too. Small sacrifice.
Basically, men say stupid things. It's not intentional. It's not even that we don't think before we speak. It's that we don't believe we should have to think before we speak. I want to treat the women in my life just like I treat the men. Rough and tumble, no holds barred.
But that's ridiculous on my part. I would never tell a guy friend that he looked beautiful, which I would do with a woman. I would never tell him that I liked his shirt (unless he borrowed my shirt) or that I thought those pants made his ass look good. But I would definitely do that with a woman.
So, why would I tell a woman that she looked like she was wearing gunboats on her feet? Just because I would do that with a guy?
I know this is common knowledge for some men. But very few of us. I'm not a bad guy. I just thought I was being equal and fair with women. It's not like all the years of tears made a dent to me. And that silence thing? Doesn't work.
In my defense, however, women need to stop being so overly sensitive about it. I mean, sure, it hurts your feelings when I tell you that your ass is bigger than my head, but I didn't mean it to hurt you. I'm just a thoughtless jerk. Forgive me! And get over it! Eventually, hopefully, I'll come to a realization that my behavior is stupid and stop doing it. One small complaint or chiding is all I need. Not a reminder 2 years later of the time I said that you should have worn clothes that made you look less stupid. Cause that helps no one.
She got very angry. She enjoys the game, and figures that lots of others will too. She thought he was a total asshole for saying it.
Yeah, the way he phrased it was pretty stupid. But I know for a fact that he thought he was being nice and thoughtful.
See, men have an issue. It's a little like tact, a little like manners and a lot like trying to treat women like they're your friends.
Women can be a friend, but they are not like your guy friends. I can tell my guy friends that their shirt makes their manboobs look like pendulous watermelons attached to his chest by copious amounts of fat.
I could never say that to a woman. Even a woman who was my friend for years and years. In fact, it's better that a man never point out any flaws on a woman. If she walks in wearing a full length muu-muu, you'd best pretend you see nothing. Or compliment her on it. One of Sara's male friends told her "You would look good if only you work makeup." I'm positive he didn't mean that in a mean-spirited way. It's just the way men think. And speak.
Cause girls aren't guys. I know, they harp about being treated equally and complain about not being in on guy jokes. But honestly,ladies, that's because guy jokes are usually pre-pubescent and stupid. Or scatalogical and disgusting. They're still funny, but you know, only funny to us.
I have learned, in my soon to be 29 years, that women don't want the truth about very much, and definitely don't want the truth about how something looks. If it makes her look like a cow with wings growing out of her back, you'd better just tell her you would wear something else. Telling her that you wouldn't go out in public with her if she killed you and stapled you to her back, not a good way to let her know your feelings. And if she really loves it. I mean LOVES IT, validate her love, be happy for her, bite back your comments and be a man. Pretend you love it too. Small sacrifice.
Basically, men say stupid things. It's not intentional. It's not even that we don't think before we speak. It's that we don't believe we should have to think before we speak. I want to treat the women in my life just like I treat the men. Rough and tumble, no holds barred.
But that's ridiculous on my part. I would never tell a guy friend that he looked beautiful, which I would do with a woman. I would never tell him that I liked his shirt (unless he borrowed my shirt) or that I thought those pants made his ass look good. But I would definitely do that with a woman.
So, why would I tell a woman that she looked like she was wearing gunboats on her feet? Just because I would do that with a guy?
I know this is common knowledge for some men. But very few of us. I'm not a bad guy. I just thought I was being equal and fair with women. It's not like all the years of tears made a dent to me. And that silence thing? Doesn't work.
In my defense, however, women need to stop being so overly sensitive about it. I mean, sure, it hurts your feelings when I tell you that your ass is bigger than my head, but I didn't mean it to hurt you. I'm just a thoughtless jerk. Forgive me! And get over it! Eventually, hopefully, I'll come to a realization that my behavior is stupid and stop doing it. One small complaint or chiding is all I need. Not a reminder 2 years later of the time I said that you should have worn clothes that made you look less stupid. Cause that helps no one.