that last post until the heart gives away...

[nowiknowforever]

Today, I walked to my old high school, so I could give Kaydie some CDs I made for her a while ago. It was a very strange feeling, I woke up and I knew that I was going to do it today, and I had no second thoughts. The walk was nice, my iPod kept me company, and I was sure to walk slowly so I could absorb, or maybe because I was nervous. Whatever it was, I knew I needed to remember this moment. When I got to the school, I waited until lunch started, then asked people where Kaydie sat, then I went over to her to give her the CDs. I really hope that she enjoys them as much as I do. It was nice to see all of her friends, and how nice they were to me. I was very surprised by that because I have not seen them in a very long time. After lunch, I walked back home and rain started to come down lightly on me. However, I did not mind. I think I deserved it...

When I got home, I watched "Boy Meets World," then I watched Eternal Sunshine. That has been one of my favorite movies for a long time. It makes me think that as much as someone may want to erase memories, they are far too precious to erase because after awhile, that is all we will have of a person. I really hope my past relationships have not been like the one portrayed in this movie, but something tells me that they have been.

I have ignored all of my phone calls today, it just feels right...

"But after a while, the whole thing just wasn't interesting to him anymore,

and he ran out of things to keep himself numb"

-Jeff