going nuts....
Ok... I'm a bit on edge right now.
I feel like I'm going to literally snap at any moment. It's just so much to deal with. The fact that I have drama in my life and 8 billion tests is breaking me down. The drama is causing my heart to feel like it's being torn apart and the tests make me feel overwhelmed. It's getting to the point where I can't even function at times. I just kind of sit there and want to cry. But the tears don't come... I'm too tired for it. I've determined that I'm not getting the affirmations I need from my friends or Nathan and that is really depressing me. I don't feel like I should have to ask people to do certain things. It just makes me feel unwanted when people don't respond to me. When I talk I kinda feel like everyone is just waiting for me to be quiet so that they can tell me about their problems. I just want someone to hold me while I cry about things and tell me it will be ok. Sometimes I don't need something to be fixed or for someone to tell me to get over it or not worry about it. I'm just stressed and lonely. This semester has taken it's toll. :~(
Anyway, I'll try and note some happy things. Tonight they're showing 'Signs' on the drill field. I think I'm going with Justin so it should be fun. Tomorrow night is the dance which I think I'm only going to for a little while. Ben decided he's not going because he can't dance. I tried to offer to teach him but he's too self-conscious. Oh well... I'll just try and have as much fun as I can and just stay for a little while. :) Maybe I'll win best costume because I'm going in an old prom dress that looks like a princess dress. I even have a cape type thing and a crown. :)
Ok, I'm going to go study some econ... yay.... I'll try and update later. Bye!
I feel like I'm going to literally snap at any moment. It's just so much to deal with. The fact that I have drama in my life and 8 billion tests is breaking me down. The drama is causing my heart to feel like it's being torn apart and the tests make me feel overwhelmed. It's getting to the point where I can't even function at times. I just kind of sit there and want to cry. But the tears don't come... I'm too tired for it. I've determined that I'm not getting the affirmations I need from my friends or Nathan and that is really depressing me. I don't feel like I should have to ask people to do certain things. It just makes me feel unwanted when people don't respond to me. When I talk I kinda feel like everyone is just waiting for me to be quiet so that they can tell me about their problems. I just want someone to hold me while I cry about things and tell me it will be ok. Sometimes I don't need something to be fixed or for someone to tell me to get over it or not worry about it. I'm just stressed and lonely. This semester has taken it's toll. :~(
Anyway, I'll try and note some happy things. Tonight they're showing 'Signs' on the drill field. I think I'm going with Justin so it should be fun. Tomorrow night is the dance which I think I'm only going to for a little while. Ben decided he's not going because he can't dance. I tried to offer to teach him but he's too self-conscious. Oh well... I'll just try and have as much fun as I can and just stay for a little while. :) Maybe I'll win best costume because I'm going in an old prom dress that looks like a princess dress. I even have a cape type thing and a crown. :)
Ok, I'm going to go study some econ... yay.... I'll try and update later. Bye!