I've been searching, wandering, thinking, lost and looking all my life...
I laid under the swings for at least an hour. Numb. I tried to count the stars, or figure out their patterns, put the constellations together they were meant to be. But everything looked upside down to me. Not to mention... dead
( Read more... )
Smoke.
Grey and wispy as death itself, curling off the end of a cigarette, blowing in clouds from the lips of a person filling their lungs with tar and carcinogens, certain to someday have cancer of some kind.
I coughed again, my eyes watering as I batted at it, and shook my head, finally turning it, gulping in some fresh, clean, non-cancerous air.
Turning back, I watched her lick her lips and slide up the wall, coming toward me. I instinctively took a step back. Not because she had that much on me, especially height wise.
But because this girl, though she's flesh, and some kind of bone, looks like the ghost of whoever she used to be.
"You ain't gonna break me baby. Unless you ask real nice."
I blinked.
"Excuse me?"
She ran her hands through my hair, getting a good look at me, before leaning in close, whispering in my ear;
"Whatcha doin' in here?"
I smirked back at her, reaching forward and running my own hand through her hair.
"Looking for you. Where have you been all of my life?" I deadpanned, then batted my eyelashes for full effect.
"Leave me alone! Go the fuck away!" She screamed, her eyes looking past me at someone, or maybe someones behind me, the way they kept going back and forth.
I turned to look, my hand still in her hair, ripping mahogany strands of it from her head as I did, my heart thumping against my ribcage as I looked for whoever it was that was putting so much fear in her wide, hollow eyes.
But there was no one there.
No one.
Fucking druggie. I should have known the score when I walked in the door and saw her crouched down in the corner. There were a hundred girls just like her, in warehouses, trippin' all over Baltimore. And if you've seen one junkie, you've seen them all. And they were all sick, sad, and pathetic.
But never this... this hollow.
Her cheek bones... hollow.
Her eyes... hollow.
Everything about her screamed fragile, but it wasn't, there was too much strength there, agility, so instead of fragile, she was hollow.
"Shut up! Do you fuckin' hear me? Shut the hell up!"
"I wasn't..."
I listened to the silence.
It was deafening.
Fucking junkie.
"...talking."
I started to back away from her again.
"You need help," I told her, swallowing. "I- I'm going to go get you help."
I turned on my heel and rand blindly through the dark abandoned building, looking for an exit. Even if I had to find a window and make it my exit.
Reply
What the hell was wrong with me?
"I wasn't......talking."
Her voice shoved the whispers outta my head. Made the ghosts go away.
Where'd she come from again?
"Maybe you wasn't..." I spat out, clenchin' my jaw as I looked at her. "...but they was."
I eyed her cautiously. Was she really here or was it just part of this whole fucked up mind trip somebody decided to take me on?
"I don't remember buyin' a ticket for this ride!" I screamed into the darkness. "You can stop anytime and let me off now."
Somebody had to be listenin'.
"You need help, I- I'm going to go get you help."
She started runnin' and my lips curled into a wicked grin. I loved playin' games like this. There was nothin' like a little game of cat and mouse. Plus, it got her heart pumpin' good and fast, pushin' that blood through her veins.
I sniffed the air, smellin' her fear and closin' my eyes. Then I laughed.
"You can run baby, but I'm gonna find you. And when I do..."
Why'd you do it Faith? Why'd you kill me?"
My eyes jerked open, lookin' around but seein' nothin'. Nobody.
I started runnin'. To find her. To get away from the voices.
I could hear her heart beatin'.
Thump. Thump. Thump.Thump
Catchin' up with her, I grabbed her by the hair and spun her around to face me.
"The only help I need is for you to just shut the fuck up and face the fact that you're gonna die."
I let my face shift into it's vamp form. I grinned as I stared at her, dartin' my tongue out and across the bottom of my fangs.
How many Faith? How many more will suffer at your hands?
Oh man, not now. Not fuckin' now.
"Not fuckin' now!" I yelled out again. "Can't you fuckin' see I'm busy here?"
Turnin' back to face her, I tightened my grip.
"Now where were we?"
I was just a kid. You took my whole life away from me. Did you even think about that?
I shoved the girl to the ground, my face shiftin' back to normal.
"If you're lookin' for an apology, you got the wrong girl! You hear me? I ain't sorry! Not for any of it."
I sank to the ground, sittin' down beside the girl and tilted my head as I looked at her.
"Tell me what the fuck's wrong with me."
Reply
She looked at me, like she would kill me if she could just get hands around my neck, or whatever it was that was tripping her up so badly would give her just a little reprieve.
I stood there, terrified.
My heart pounded against my chest, the blood was pulsing through my veins like it couldn't get through if it didn't push that hard.
She was just so... frightening.
"Wh-Who?" I asked, my lips trembling, and I tried to keep my body from doing the same. "Tell me who's bothering you, who's upsetting you... a-and I'll make them stop." I promised, slowly circling away from her.
It all became a blur, this dirty, dark building as I fled from her. I hit my knee on something sharp, and tripped over something else.
"I don't remember buyin' a ticket for this ride! You can stop anytime and let me off now."
Please, God. Please let her off!
Whatever she was on, whatever she took a hit of... it was making her fucking crazy. She was a psychopath, and I was trapped in here, with her, unless I could find the god damned exit...
"You can run baby, but I'm gonna find you. And when I do..."
Shit!
She was getting closer. I could hear her. Her footsteps. Her crazy, lunatic-style screaming. It was all getting too close for comfort. Yet, when I thought I saw a door right over there-
"The only help I need is for you to just shut the fuck up and face the fact that you're gonna die."
I cringed, my hair wound tightly in her fingers, my face to her once beautiful face. At least, I imagined that she was once beautiful. Right now, she looked like Hell itself.
Especially when her fact suddenly became all wrinkled and deformed looking.
And then I remembered, back at the Hotel, the Slayer?
Vampire.
"Fine, just make it quick." I told her, staring at her fangs, and imagining the feel of them puncturing my skin. Until she started screaming again.
"Not fuckin' now! Can't you fuckin' see I'm busy here? Now where were we?"
I struggled in her now tighter grasp, wincing slightly.
"We're at the part where you kill me because you can, and because my life is meaningless to you. And I was kinda hoping you'd just do it and be done with it. If I'm going to die, I'd rather it be quick, though I know painless isn't really an option."
She pushed me to the ground, and I landed hard on my butt, just watching her.
"If you're lookin' for an apology, you got the wrong girl! You hear me? I ain't sorry! Not for any of it."
I shook my head.
"You don't... you don't owe me anything." I insisted before she sank down next to me, and I stared at her in confusion.
"Tell me what the fuck's wrong with me."
I shrugged. "I don't really know..." I said, staring at her, and reaching out to brush her wild hair from her face, and finger combing it.
Doll-like.
She was like a broken doll. And she made me think of Evelina, which made me want to cry. Which made me feel hollow inside.
"I don't know what's wrong with you, or what it could be. But I, um, I noticed that you're a vampire? And where I come from, well, where I was staying, at this Hotel, they said something about a 'Slayer'. Maybe she can help you?" I suggested.
"I don't know of anyone else," I added, smoothing over some of her self inflicted wounds.
"I'm a stranger in this town."
Reply
Her hands reached out, brushin' hair outta my face. I closed my eyes, feelin' the softness of her hand against my skin. In my hair.
If I just keep my eyes closed, I won't see 'em. They won't keep stalkin' me. Whisperin' to me.
Just because you can't see us, don't mean we're not there Faith.
I opened my eyes, lookin' around.
"Where you at? Come on out!" I snapped my head to the other side of the room. "Let's get this over with! I killed you once, I'll fuckin' do it again. Don't test me! I ain't fuckin' playin'!"
"I don't know what's wrong with you, or what it could be. But I, um, I noticed that you're a vampire? And where I come from, well, where I was staying, at this Hotel, they said something about a 'Slayer'. Maybe she can help you?"
I had stood back up and was pacin' the floor. Lookin' in the corners and seein' 'em starin' at me. Cryin'. I could hear their voices beggin'. Screamin'.
Like they were doin' when I did 'em in. Ripped out their throats and drank.
Why did you do it?
"I had to! Don't you get that? I signed up for this gig. It's what I wanted! Don't you see that?"
Wait. Did the girl say Slayer?
I stopped, spinnin' on my heel and droppin' back down next to her.
"Hotel. Slayer." I repeated her words, clenchin' my jaw and takin' a deep breath through my nose.
"I don't know of anyone else, I'm a stranger in this town."
I sat there, my mind registerin' she was talkin' about Buffy and her fuckin' merry band of goody two shoe geeks. I don't know why I never thought of it before. Somebody there would know what the fuck was wrong with me. And Blondie here was my ticket to gettin' my answers.
Reachin' out, I grabbed her by the hair of the head and jerked her up with me.
"Maybe we oughta pay that hotel a little visit" I looked at her, my lips curlin' into a wicked grin. "It's time I stopped bein' such a stranger myself."
Reply
Leave a comment