Blue Rhino Review
What a week. I had just recently decided to drop a number of titles that I collect in order to par down the amount of shit I’ve managed to collect in the past thirty years, and yet I still somehow spent 40$ on new comic books this week. And do you want to know the weirdest part about it all? I was actually excited to read all of them (well, almost all of them, but you’ll see…)
Powers #25
This is what Brian Michael Bendis should be doing. No more New Avengers. No more Mighty Avengers. No more Ultimate Spider-Man (gasp! Blasphemy!). Just Powers. And it should come out every week.
Let me be the first to say that I loved the Brian Michael Bendis cover to this issue (there were two, the other from Oeming, the regular artist). It’s priceless. I was angry at first, until I got the joke. At least I hope it’s a joke, I’m going to stay with thinking it is.
But Powers is by far the highlight of Mr. Bendis’ illustrious career. It’s the book that I once drunkenly ranted about for hours when one of the final issues of the first series was a “full” issue with no ads or letters page in order to tell more story.
But here’s the thing. This book is starting to suffer, and I think it’s because of all the aforementioned books that I think he should quit. Because this book is the shit, and it’s starting to not be, and I hope it doesn’t slip any more.
P.S., enough with the sex in comic books, Bendis. We all know they’re “real”, and showing people fucking for three pages doesn’t help establish their “realness” for me, it just makes me think that you are a very, very disturbed and under-sexed individual.
Still a good book, but come on.
DMZ #22
I loved the anti-climactic climactic ending to this storyline. I like that the shit hit the fan last issue, and this issue just deals with the aftermath of said shit hitting said fan. Brian Wood says to hell with deconstruction, this is just how I’m telling the story, and bless him for that. He doesn’t drag us along with nothing for four issues and then toss us a bag of scraps in the end and tell us it’s a feast. In fact, I think DMZ should do away entirely with the “story arc”. They should just be issues, each of them are content and full enough on their own to stand up on their own two feet. They’re all a part of the greater whole, not just filler until we get to the meat, which seems to go rotten before we ever get there in other books a lot of the time.
Thank you, Brian Wood.
The New Avengers #33
Other than the sixty bucks I can now make on ebay for my old “Hood” mini-series, this issue totally blew. Actually, it didn’t even blow, because that might actually be construed as accomplishing something. Just like the movie Sicko, I walked into this thing knowing just as much as I did walking out, and I’ll I got for my time was a semi-queasy, sickish feeling in my stomach.
Sure, it’s got all the stuff the kids like these days. Flashy dialogue that’s “funny”. Guns and death. A lack of trust. Deathlok. And on the surface, I guess that makes it good. I just think that Bendis is hoping that nobody looks past the surface. Because if you take away all the flash and pomp, all that’s left is just another crappy Avengers story from the nineties. Ouch.
The Boys #9
Jesus Christ. More fucking in comic books. Apparently Garth Ennis hasn’t gotten any in a while either, and he’s using The Boys to fulfill all of his creepy male domination fantasies. I’ve lost the entire point of this series in the first place. Oh, yeah, it was to “out-Preacher Preacher”. Well, if by “out-Preachering Preacher” you mean to make me more physically ill than Preacher ever did, then job well done, Mr. Ennis, job well done.
As for The Boys, I’ve had enough.
Punisher War Journal #10
I still don’t quite see where Fraction is going with this book. The first five issues were a fun-filled blast, but this whole Nazi arc just has me wondering why I didn’t get off the ride after my first time through. The ending presents some interesting character developments for all of the major players, but I don’t know if we really needed this much story to get there. And I’m also not really sure how much Frank would really care about it all in the end, anyway (although in Fraction’s defense, it does seem more like he’s worried about Clarke finding him out than for what he actually did, but still, that interpretation is on the fence).
Who am I kidding, though, it’s been the best Punisher in years.
Daredevil #99
I had to look up Larry Cranston, too. Apparently he was one of the many Mr. Fears. Yeah, I still don’t know who he is either.
Still, damn good issue. The ride that Bendis started back around issue #20 keeps on rolling, even with a new driver behind the wheel. This is another book that, just like DMZ, could totally do away with the “story arc” since the whole thing has just felt like one long, strange journey that doesn’t need to be broken up into smaller pieces.
Oh, and the last line of the book is one sweet, sweet line. It’s been a while since the last line of a comic book made me feel all tingly cool like that.
Fables #64
This is the first issue of this entire series that I didn’t like. Sure, I’ve been disappointed before, and sometimes angered when Mr. Willingham takes little detours like this, but those feelings are usually assuaged by the greatness of his story-telling. Not this time around. It was all just filler, but not the good kind of filler like stuffing or potatoes. It was the bad kind, like cold eggplant salad. Gross.
Godland #19
Joe Casey is cooler than you. It’s a proven fact. And that’s all you really need to know about Godland to go out there and buy it. He’s like the cool hipster on the scene that you want to be around, as opposed to all those others that just kind of irritate you with their smug hipness and their clove cigarettes.
Casanova #8
I couldn’t even tell you what happened in this issue if I wanted to. In classic Casanova fashion, it’s going to take at least four more issues and a dozen reads before I even begin to decipher the hidden meaning in each and every panel of this spectacular book. And you know what? It only costs me $1.99 an issue for this much pleasure. Part of me is crying right now.
Batman #667
Grant Morrison and J.H. Williams III together again? I just wet myself.
Criminal #8
Maybe I’m not supposed to, but I really don’t like Tracy Lawless. The biggest problem with that is that I don’t feel for him, or his cause. But I am starting to like Ricky Lawless a little bit, despite never having the opportunity to meet him. I’ll be interested to see where this goes, but this is really just one piece of the puzzle on a book that reads much better in whole than in part.
Ultimate X-Men #85
Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Robert Kirkman? Because I do. Oh, how I hate him.
This book wasn’t actually half bad story-wise, but the dialogue just about killed me. Mostly because I can just picture in my mind Kirman, slumped over his computer, laughing giddily to himself as he writes such amazingly “witty” dialogue like
Wolverine - These new Sentinel models are great. I don’t need any help getting up top to do damage. Smaller, compact. I approve!
Bishop (not me) - Don’t forget deadlier! These models are faster and carry more weapons, Wolverine.
Wolverine - Granted. I’m not a fan of those features, Bishop.
Bishop (not me) - I thought not.
It’s such utter bullshit. Worthless tripe.
Bishop (me) - These new stories by Kirkman are total ass. I don’t need any help understanding them since they sound like they were written by a five-year-old. Boring, dim. I hate them!
Powers #25
This is what Brian Michael Bendis should be doing. No more New Avengers. No more Mighty Avengers. No more Ultimate Spider-Man (gasp! Blasphemy!). Just Powers. And it should come out every week.
Let me be the first to say that I loved the Brian Michael Bendis cover to this issue (there were two, the other from Oeming, the regular artist). It’s priceless. I was angry at first, until I got the joke. At least I hope it’s a joke, I’m going to stay with thinking it is.
But Powers is by far the highlight of Mr. Bendis’ illustrious career. It’s the book that I once drunkenly ranted about for hours when one of the final issues of the first series was a “full” issue with no ads or letters page in order to tell more story.
But here’s the thing. This book is starting to suffer, and I think it’s because of all the aforementioned books that I think he should quit. Because this book is the shit, and it’s starting to not be, and I hope it doesn’t slip any more.
P.S., enough with the sex in comic books, Bendis. We all know they’re “real”, and showing people fucking for three pages doesn’t help establish their “realness” for me, it just makes me think that you are a very, very disturbed and under-sexed individual.
Still a good book, but come on.
DMZ #22
I loved the anti-climactic climactic ending to this storyline. I like that the shit hit the fan last issue, and this issue just deals with the aftermath of said shit hitting said fan. Brian Wood says to hell with deconstruction, this is just how I’m telling the story, and bless him for that. He doesn’t drag us along with nothing for four issues and then toss us a bag of scraps in the end and tell us it’s a feast. In fact, I think DMZ should do away entirely with the “story arc”. They should just be issues, each of them are content and full enough on their own to stand up on their own two feet. They’re all a part of the greater whole, not just filler until we get to the meat, which seems to go rotten before we ever get there in other books a lot of the time.
Thank you, Brian Wood.
The New Avengers #33
Other than the sixty bucks I can now make on ebay for my old “Hood” mini-series, this issue totally blew. Actually, it didn’t even blow, because that might actually be construed as accomplishing something. Just like the movie Sicko, I walked into this thing knowing just as much as I did walking out, and I’ll I got for my time was a semi-queasy, sickish feeling in my stomach.
Sure, it’s got all the stuff the kids like these days. Flashy dialogue that’s “funny”. Guns and death. A lack of trust. Deathlok. And on the surface, I guess that makes it good. I just think that Bendis is hoping that nobody looks past the surface. Because if you take away all the flash and pomp, all that’s left is just another crappy Avengers story from the nineties. Ouch.
The Boys #9
Jesus Christ. More fucking in comic books. Apparently Garth Ennis hasn’t gotten any in a while either, and he’s using The Boys to fulfill all of his creepy male domination fantasies. I’ve lost the entire point of this series in the first place. Oh, yeah, it was to “out-Preacher Preacher”. Well, if by “out-Preachering Preacher” you mean to make me more physically ill than Preacher ever did, then job well done, Mr. Ennis, job well done.
As for The Boys, I’ve had enough.
Punisher War Journal #10
I still don’t quite see where Fraction is going with this book. The first five issues were a fun-filled blast, but this whole Nazi arc just has me wondering why I didn’t get off the ride after my first time through. The ending presents some interesting character developments for all of the major players, but I don’t know if we really needed this much story to get there. And I’m also not really sure how much Frank would really care about it all in the end, anyway (although in Fraction’s defense, it does seem more like he’s worried about Clarke finding him out than for what he actually did, but still, that interpretation is on the fence).
Who am I kidding, though, it’s been the best Punisher in years.
Daredevil #99
I had to look up Larry Cranston, too. Apparently he was one of the many Mr. Fears. Yeah, I still don’t know who he is either.
Still, damn good issue. The ride that Bendis started back around issue #20 keeps on rolling, even with a new driver behind the wheel. This is another book that, just like DMZ, could totally do away with the “story arc” since the whole thing has just felt like one long, strange journey that doesn’t need to be broken up into smaller pieces.
Oh, and the last line of the book is one sweet, sweet line. It’s been a while since the last line of a comic book made me feel all tingly cool like that.
Fables #64
This is the first issue of this entire series that I didn’t like. Sure, I’ve been disappointed before, and sometimes angered when Mr. Willingham takes little detours like this, but those feelings are usually assuaged by the greatness of his story-telling. Not this time around. It was all just filler, but not the good kind of filler like stuffing or potatoes. It was the bad kind, like cold eggplant salad. Gross.
Godland #19
Joe Casey is cooler than you. It’s a proven fact. And that’s all you really need to know about Godland to go out there and buy it. He’s like the cool hipster on the scene that you want to be around, as opposed to all those others that just kind of irritate you with their smug hipness and their clove cigarettes.
Casanova #8
I couldn’t even tell you what happened in this issue if I wanted to. In classic Casanova fashion, it’s going to take at least four more issues and a dozen reads before I even begin to decipher the hidden meaning in each and every panel of this spectacular book. And you know what? It only costs me $1.99 an issue for this much pleasure. Part of me is crying right now.
Batman #667
Grant Morrison and J.H. Williams III together again? I just wet myself.
Criminal #8
Maybe I’m not supposed to, but I really don’t like Tracy Lawless. The biggest problem with that is that I don’t feel for him, or his cause. But I am starting to like Ricky Lawless a little bit, despite never having the opportunity to meet him. I’ll be interested to see where this goes, but this is really just one piece of the puzzle on a book that reads much better in whole than in part.
Ultimate X-Men #85
Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Robert Kirkman? Because I do. Oh, how I hate him.
This book wasn’t actually half bad story-wise, but the dialogue just about killed me. Mostly because I can just picture in my mind Kirman, slumped over his computer, laughing giddily to himself as he writes such amazingly “witty” dialogue like
Wolverine - These new Sentinel models are great. I don’t need any help getting up top to do damage. Smaller, compact. I approve!
Bishop (not me) - Don’t forget deadlier! These models are faster and carry more weapons, Wolverine.
Wolverine - Granted. I’m not a fan of those features, Bishop.
Bishop (not me) - I thought not.
It’s such utter bullshit. Worthless tripe.
Bishop (me) - These new stories by Kirkman are total ass. I don’t need any help understanding them since they sound like they were written by a five-year-old. Boring, dim. I hate them!