Fistful of Fortune Cookies
A friend of mine was talking about fortune cookies last night and how she thinks she's going to get into the school she's applied for due to the upbeat messages she's recently received inside those crunchy nuggets. Messages like "Things are looking up for you" and "You will be traveling soon" (she's applying for a school in Chicago). It got me and another friend wondering why fortune cookies don't predict the actual future more precisely, why they're so vague. He pondered the following question:
"I don't know why I never get a cookie that says 'you're ex-wife's going to be a real bitch and treat you like shit this year'. I mean, it always happens, so why haven't I seen a cookie that says so?"
That's a good question. Why don't we see more "realistic" fortune cookies? I never get a cookie that says
"You won't be able to afford your bills this month"
or
"You really are losing your hair. It's not coming back, man. It's just...not."
or
"You're a fucking loser"
I mean, sure those messages would be harsh, but at least I'd know they meant something. At least I'd know they weren't just telling me what I wanted to hear. I mean, "You will be traveling soon"? What the fuck is that? What is their definition of "traveling"? And how soon is "soon"? I'd much rather be called out on my obvious inadequacies than be told some vague lie about possibly going only as far as the market down the street.
"I don't know why I never get a cookie that says 'you're ex-wife's going to be a real bitch and treat you like shit this year'. I mean, it always happens, so why haven't I seen a cookie that says so?"
That's a good question. Why don't we see more "realistic" fortune cookies? I never get a cookie that says
"You won't be able to afford your bills this month"
or
"You really are losing your hair. It's not coming back, man. It's just...not."
or
"You're a fucking loser"
I mean, sure those messages would be harsh, but at least I'd know they meant something. At least I'd know they weren't just telling me what I wanted to hear. I mean, "You will be traveling soon"? What the fuck is that? What is their definition of "traveling"? And how soon is "soon"? I'd much rather be called out on my obvious inadequacies than be told some vague lie about possibly going only as far as the market down the street.