I read this when you posted it and immediately wanted to reply--because the whole part about Dean not having ever been a child resonated with me SO DEEPLY I felt you could have been writing about ME--but I hadn't seen the episode yet, so I had to wait to properly react until today, when I'd had a chance to view it.
I watched it with your thoughts in my head, weighing what I was seeing with your interpretations...and I have to tell you that we came out pretty aligned on this one.
I was actually really relived when Dean showed Mary the door--and called her 'Mary' and not 'Mom'--that Sam backed him up. I half expected Sam to be all, "Wait, Dean, let's hear her out," even at that point. Later, when Dean calls Sam on his tendency to ride the fence and play the middle, and he says, "Pick a side," what I heard was an unspoken plea to pick HIS side.
Dean has backed Sam up his whole life. Even when he knew what Sam was doing was wrong (demon blood, anyone?) he didn't abandon him. He willingly put himself into danger for no other reason than Sam. And all he wanted was for his family to do the same for him.
I think Sam going to see Mary w/out telling Dean was totally in character. However, I thought it was a bit hilarious when he found out that Dean lead-footed it to the BMoL bunker when he found out it was under attack and was confused then surprised to learn that it was because Dean knew Mary was there, not Sam. OF COURSE Dean would do that. Silly, Sam. Nothing matters to him more than family, even when family never puts him first. Ever.
I'm not sure what Sam's ultimate play here is. I kind of believed him when he was negotiating with the Alpha Vamp (and, I'm sorry, but I loved the Alpha Vamp's "get off my lawn" speech...I'm a bit sorry to see him go) with the "Cops and Robbers" angle. After all, they have friends--legitimate, have saved-their-lives, will call on them when they're up sh*t creek friends--who are "monsters". They know that not all monsters do monstrous things. And each of them have been there before as well!
I wrote a story a long time ago where I had a character muse that if they get rid of evil, they end up living in a world without heroes. I don't think Mary's thinking broadly enough with her whole, "We could have a normal life if all the monsters are gone," theory. She hasn't seen what they've seen over the last 30 years. She hasn't lived through what they've lived through.
Getting rid of all the monsters isn't going to work any better than closing all the gates to hell. It's just not how the balance is supposed to work, guys. It's Earth: there always needs to be a ying and yang, a dark and light, a Heaven and Hell. If not, it's not going to be 'Earth' anymore. And Sam knows this. He has to, after all he's seen.
So, I wonder if he's playing along to keep aligned with the intel and make sure that they don't get in over their heads since his mother is with them...but does he really buy in to the "no monsters, full stop, the end" theory?? I don't know.
I do know that I didn't like that he was all secretive about his being "in" and said to give him time to convince his brother. Like Dean's vote in this doesn't really count...he just needs to see that if he doesn't join them he'll be left alone and since Dean doesn't do alone and family is all that matters to him, he'll join in whether or not he feels like it's the right thing to do. That rubbed me wrong.
(...my post was too long, so I had to break it up...)
As for Mary...I think she's naive. I think she's falling back on her upbringing as a hunter because she was a hunter far longer than she was a wife (which she isn't anymore since John is dead) or a mother. Like your friend twigletmoo, I understood on one level her saying she's more than "just" a mother as I argue that point once in a while myself.
But for Mary, it's bigger than just finding her identity around her adult children. It's that she barely got 4 years to be a mother. There's so much more to motherhood than growing and birthing a child, raising them through toddler-hood. Not to diminish her role in their lives, but she has no idea what it means to be their mother -- she never got a chance to learn.
So, while what Dean yearned to have from her was 100% understandable from his perspective, she is completely incapable of understanding what to do about what she's hearing. She jumped right to "you're not a child" thinking about the last time she was truly his mother and not really thinking about the other side of parenting -- the part where your voice, your eyes, your arms offer stability and reassurance. The part where you make them feel safe and loved just by your presence. The part where you call them on their bullshit while simultaneously offering them other paths and choices. The part where you are their safety net.
She never had a chance to learn how to be that for someone else, so she's missing the fact that that is what Dean's looking for. Not the making him lunch and wiping his nose crap that she reverted to. And for all Dean's cracks about Sam playing "peacemaker"...that's been his exact role all of his life, especially when John was alive, so regardless of his personal pain or wounds, he did that very thing at the end. Made his peace with his mom because she's family and she can't be held to blame for all the things she does not know.
Her naivete, though, about the world at large and the balance between hunter and monster today, is going to be a problem, I think. Especially if we now have another whole level of secrets and lies to deal with.
I watched it with your thoughts in my head, weighing what I was seeing with your interpretations...and I have to tell you that we came out pretty aligned on this one.
I was actually really relived when Dean showed Mary the door--and called her 'Mary' and not 'Mom'--that Sam backed him up. I half expected Sam to be all, "Wait, Dean, let's hear her out," even at that point. Later, when Dean calls Sam on his tendency to ride the fence and play the middle, and he says, "Pick a side," what I heard was an unspoken plea to pick HIS side.
Dean has backed Sam up his whole life. Even when he knew what Sam was doing was wrong (demon blood, anyone?) he didn't abandon him. He willingly put himself into danger for no other reason than Sam. And all he wanted was for his family to do the same for him.
I think Sam going to see Mary w/out telling Dean was totally in character. However, I thought it was a bit hilarious when he found out that Dean lead-footed it to the BMoL bunker when he found out it was under attack and was confused then surprised to learn that it was because Dean knew Mary was there, not Sam. OF COURSE Dean would do that. Silly, Sam. Nothing matters to him more than family, even when family never puts him first. Ever.
I'm not sure what Sam's ultimate play here is. I kind of believed him when he was negotiating with the Alpha Vamp (and, I'm sorry, but I loved the Alpha Vamp's "get off my lawn" speech...I'm a bit sorry to see him go) with the "Cops and Robbers" angle. After all, they have friends--legitimate, have saved-their-lives, will call on them when they're up sh*t creek friends--who are "monsters". They know that not all monsters do monstrous things. And each of them have been there before as well!
I wrote a story a long time ago where I had a character muse that if they get rid of evil, they end up living in a world without heroes. I don't think Mary's thinking broadly enough with her whole, "We could have a normal life if all the monsters are gone," theory. She hasn't seen what they've seen over the last 30 years. She hasn't lived through what they've lived through.
Getting rid of all the monsters isn't going to work any better than closing all the gates to hell. It's just not how the balance is supposed to work, guys. It's Earth: there always needs to be a ying and yang, a dark and light, a Heaven and Hell. If not, it's not going to be 'Earth' anymore. And Sam knows this. He has to, after all he's seen.
So, I wonder if he's playing along to keep aligned with the intel and make sure that they don't get in over their heads since his mother is with them...but does he really buy in to the "no monsters, full stop, the end" theory?? I don't know.
I do know that I didn't like that he was all secretive about his being "in" and said to give him time to convince his brother. Like Dean's vote in this doesn't really count...he just needs to see that if he doesn't join them he'll be left alone and since Dean doesn't do alone and family is all that matters to him, he'll join in whether or not he feels like it's the right thing to do. That rubbed me wrong.
(...my post was too long, so I had to break it up...)
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But for Mary, it's bigger than just finding her identity around her adult children. It's that she barely got 4 years to be a mother. There's so much more to motherhood than growing and birthing a child, raising them through toddler-hood. Not to diminish her role in their lives, but she has no idea what it means to be their mother -- she never got a chance to learn.
So, while what Dean yearned to have from her was 100% understandable from his perspective, she is completely incapable of understanding what to do about what she's hearing. She jumped right to "you're not a child" thinking about the last time she was truly his mother and not really thinking about the other side of parenting -- the part where your voice, your eyes, your arms offer stability and reassurance. The part where you make them feel safe and loved just by your presence. The part where you call them on their bullshit while simultaneously offering them other paths and choices. The part where you are their safety net.
She never had a chance to learn how to be that for someone else, so she's missing the fact that that is what Dean's looking for. Not the making him lunch and wiping his nose crap that she reverted to. And for all Dean's cracks about Sam playing "peacemaker"...that's been his exact role all of his life, especially when John was alive, so regardless of his personal pain or wounds, he did that very thing at the end. Made his peace with his mom because she's family and she can't be held to blame for all the things she does not know.
Her naivete, though, about the world at large and the balance between hunter and monster today, is going to be a problem, I think. Especially if we now have another whole level of secrets and lies to deal with.
Going to be interesting.
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