No sunlight
Lately I feel like I've been immature about situations. I don't have a lot going on but it feels like I do. I'm just seeking advice I guess and want to hear other peoples input.
I wanted a new start and all this junk and I was happy for a good couple of weeks around spring break. Then, I realized that I was really alone and had no one to rely on because I was so used to a boyfriend figure. I know that I should have looked to my friends and family for support for everything but I felt like I needed that other person there. I was just impatient and couldn't wait for what I knew was the right thing and what I really wanted. So then instead I got back with Shad. I felt like it was what I wanted and then I realized like, 'wow, this is definitely not what I want'. Now I feel as if I let myself down. I want to be a stronger person and I took the easy way out in the situation and found out the hard way that it was not what I wanted.
I really believe that I can support myself emotionally. I know I'll need help from other around me and I really need to realize. I also blew off people who were close to me because I wanted it to work so badly. But now here I am in the same situation I was in before. Alone. I pushed people who I cared about most away. I want to be closer to my family and all my friends. I blew off Diamond numerous times but she's done it to me so we understand eachother. I'm not as close to my brother either but I'm pretty sure I'm going to his house this weekend. Hopefully me and Steve still go to Dcab together. I'm pretty sure me and Chels are golden.
On another note, the new Dcab is great.
I wanted a new start and all this junk and I was happy for a good couple of weeks around spring break. Then, I realized that I was really alone and had no one to rely on because I was so used to a boyfriend figure. I know that I should have looked to my friends and family for support for everything but I felt like I needed that other person there. I was just impatient and couldn't wait for what I knew was the right thing and what I really wanted. So then instead I got back with Shad. I felt like it was what I wanted and then I realized like, 'wow, this is definitely not what I want'. Now I feel as if I let myself down. I want to be a stronger person and I took the easy way out in the situation and found out the hard way that it was not what I wanted.
I really believe that I can support myself emotionally. I know I'll need help from other around me and I really need to realize. I also blew off people who were close to me because I wanted it to work so badly. But now here I am in the same situation I was in before. Alone. I pushed people who I cared about most away. I want to be closer to my family and all my friends. I blew off Diamond numerous times but she's done it to me so we understand eachother. I'm not as close to my brother either but I'm pretty sure I'm going to his house this weekend. Hopefully me and Steve still go to Dcab together. I'm pretty sure me and Chels are golden.
On another note, the new Dcab is great.