Lost and Found
Day 18 → Whatever tickles your fancy
George R. R. Martin's A Dance with Dragons.
Or, better yet, the entire A Song of Ice and Fire series!
Today I finished the latest installment of Martin's epic tale set in a world where winter spans decades, kings and queens fight over one throne or many, and otherworldly beings creep up on men who had forgotten to believe in magic. It has taken me the better part of the year to finish all five books that have so far been published - A Game of Thrones, A Clash of Kings, A Storm of Swords, A Feast for Crows, and A Dance with Dragons. The next book will not come out for another three years I suspect.
It's been such an amazing journey with these books. Though I know most everyone will have already heard of the series (and of HBO's TV adaptation), I just thought I'd post a little something about it here, as I literally just finished the epilogue of the fifth book before signing on to LJ. My head is still ringing with possibilities and questions sparked by the last few chapters!
If you have any love for fantasy at all, give this series a try. It's not as hardcore as a Magic novel or TOR fantasy…neither of which I can stomach. For me, it's the perfect blend of fantasy, set in the world of kings, lords and knights, and mixed in with a good dose of humanity. The writing style is very easy to get hooked on. Though I recommend starting the first book when you have a lot of time on your hands to remember all the names and places that will get thrown at you in the first few chapters. It took me a few re-reads to get that initial framework down in my head.
-------------------
I have safely made it back to Colorado! After a day of unpacking, and a couple of days running errands with my mom, I'm starting to settle in to life here. It's taken a little while to adjust to though.
Oddly enough, I re-read the entry I had written to go along with the "Day 18" from the last time I completed this "daily meme" thing. At that time my "whatever tickles your fancy" happened to be a complete mapping off all of my close friends at the time. This included mainly ISA friends, and Araki. Though she was ISA at the time, she wasn't really a major part of the ISA ohana until later that semester. At the time of my last "Day 18" entry, she had been the beginning of my dorm ohana…which grew into some of the closest friends I came to know in Hawaii: Kele, Kosuke, Diana and Araki. Jeff occasionally, when he would stop chasing after international girls to join us.
And I say "oddly enough", because at that time, I had written of how much I missed CO. How much I missed my friends and family here, and how I didn't feel like Hawaii was home to me.
Now, as I write this new "Day 18" entry, the tides have turned. I am an outsider looking in, here in my parents' house in Aurora.
Colorado is still a big part of me. I believe the fright and sorrow I felt from the Aurora shooting is proof enough of that. It will never go away, this fierce love for the mountains and the dogs and the crazy winters. When I was in Hawaii, I missed Colorado the most around Christmas time. You can never truly know the best parts about Christmas until you've crunched through a field of snow, bundled up in jackets and sweaters and hats and scarves, eagerly anticipating the fleece blanket and cup of hot cocoa that awaited you at home. The dark nights in the suburbs of Aurora that you don't see in Honolulu because of the city lights…quiet neighborhoods sparkling with brightly colored Christmas lights and decorations. How all of the old grandmothers wear gift-wrapped earrings and Santa sweatshirts, and how everyone says "Merry Christmas" and "Happy holidays" to you starting at least a month before December 25th. I'm glad I got to return for a part of the holidays here.
But…different from my last "Day 18" entry…I now miss Hawaii fiercely.
This change has mainly to do with my heart learning the aloha spirit. I understand it a little more now, and love it even more than that.
The 'aloha spirit' means loving others when it is hard to love, giving when it is hard to give, sharing when it is hard to share. I tried looking it up online just now (because it wasn't something I learned from books, but rather from the people I've encountered while living there) - and found the chant taught to children to help them remember the meaning of aloha:
Akahai, meaning kindness to be expressed with tenderness;
Lôkahi, meaning unity, to be expressed with harmony;
`Olu`olu, meaning agreeable, to be expressed with pleasantness;
Ha`aha`a, meaning humility, to be expressed with modesty;
Ahonui, meaning patience, to be expressed with perseverance.
And for more concrete terms, some basic principles of having the aloha spirit:
Aloha is more than a word of greeting or farewell or a salutation.
Aloha means mutual regard and affection and extends warmth in caring with no obligation in return.
Aloha is the essence of relationships in which each person is important to every other person for collective existence.
Aloha means to hear what is not said, to see what cannot be seen and to know the unknowable.
You can show the aloha spirit in little things - such as supporting a friend when they are stressed or ill, treating someone to dinner who doesn't have much money, throwing a surprise birthday party for someone who isn't expecting it. These are the kinds of things that I think most people around the world do.
But, what's harder than that, is the idea of doing these good deeds without expecting anything in return. I have meet many local people in Hawaii who do not share this aloha spirit, or they do not share it with everyone they meet. But, I have also met so many who do. And those people have changed me. Helped me learn how peace of mind, happiness, comes with giving and not expecting.
Another something that is unique to Hawaii, and which helped me truly see this aloha spirit:
Leis.
We give each other leis for any occasion that inspires celebration and aloha. A ceremony in which a student has earned good grades, or a concert someone performed in, a birthday, a "you got the job!" celebratory dinner, a goodbye party, a welcome home party…and so on and so forth.
My strongest memories concerning leis have to do with graduation. Whether it be mine or someone else's, going to Ching field where hundreds of students come pouring out of Stan Sheriff center with their new BA, MA, PhD diplomas, is an experience that's worth remembering. The air is filled with laughter as people eagerly wait with their plastic bags of leis in hand. Those graduating take photo after photo, their necks and faces covered up by wildly vibrant flowers. The fragrant smell, on my own graduation day, did not leave me even after I took all of those flowers off.
I don't know of any place anywhere in the world that really celebrates graduation the way they do in Hawaii. You can feel the love in the air during those times.
So, even though I am happy to be in Colorado, and eager to be spending quality time with my family before I head off to Japan…I miss Hawaii as well. After several years there, I slowly made that my home. And just as I lost a lot of my Colorado pride (it's still there…but it's buried deep underneath all that aloha) when moving to Hawaii…I'm scared that the more time I spend apart from those islands I will slowly lose that side of me.
It won't be a quick loss, either. I won't wake up one day, realizing that I don't remember what it feels like to drive through Honolulu at night, looking for a place to have a few drinks and eats with good friends. Or what it feels like to turn that corner on the highway towards North Shore, and get hit in the face with endless sea and sky. I won't simply lose that feeling of greeting someone I just met with a hug and a kiss.
Rather, it will go slowly. The memories will not be as vivid in a few months. Distance and time will do what they always do, and fade away the feelings until they are no more than nostalgic "remember whens".
It scares me, because I love the 'me' that was molded in Hawaii. I have a lot of flaws still. But I am proud of how I've grown and matured over my time there. I'm sure I would have grown up just as well here, or somewhere else in the world. It's just that, I didn't. I didn't grow up here. I grew up there.
Well, I guess I will just count myself blessed that I was able to have Hawaii be a part of my life journey. It taught me many things that I can only hope will remain with me, as I continue forwards.
As Daenerys Targaryen tells herself, over and over in A Song of Ice and Fire:
If I look back I am lost.
George R. R. Martin's A Dance with Dragons.
Or, better yet, the entire A Song of Ice and Fire series!
Today I finished the latest installment of Martin's epic tale set in a world where winter spans decades, kings and queens fight over one throne or many, and otherworldly beings creep up on men who had forgotten to believe in magic. It has taken me the better part of the year to finish all five books that have so far been published - A Game of Thrones, A Clash of Kings, A Storm of Swords, A Feast for Crows, and A Dance with Dragons. The next book will not come out for another three years I suspect.
It's been such an amazing journey with these books. Though I know most everyone will have already heard of the series (and of HBO's TV adaptation), I just thought I'd post a little something about it here, as I literally just finished the epilogue of the fifth book before signing on to LJ. My head is still ringing with possibilities and questions sparked by the last few chapters!
If you have any love for fantasy at all, give this series a try. It's not as hardcore as a Magic novel or TOR fantasy…neither of which I can stomach. For me, it's the perfect blend of fantasy, set in the world of kings, lords and knights, and mixed in with a good dose of humanity. The writing style is very easy to get hooked on. Though I recommend starting the first book when you have a lot of time on your hands to remember all the names and places that will get thrown at you in the first few chapters. It took me a few re-reads to get that initial framework down in my head.
-------------------
I have safely made it back to Colorado! After a day of unpacking, and a couple of days running errands with my mom, I'm starting to settle in to life here. It's taken a little while to adjust to though.
Oddly enough, I re-read the entry I had written to go along with the "Day 18" from the last time I completed this "daily meme" thing. At that time my "whatever tickles your fancy" happened to be a complete mapping off all of my close friends at the time. This included mainly ISA friends, and Araki. Though she was ISA at the time, she wasn't really a major part of the ISA ohana until later that semester. At the time of my last "Day 18" entry, she had been the beginning of my dorm ohana…which grew into some of the closest friends I came to know in Hawaii: Kele, Kosuke, Diana and Araki. Jeff occasionally, when he would stop chasing after international girls to join us.
And I say "oddly enough", because at that time, I had written of how much I missed CO. How much I missed my friends and family here, and how I didn't feel like Hawaii was home to me.
Now, as I write this new "Day 18" entry, the tides have turned. I am an outsider looking in, here in my parents' house in Aurora.
Colorado is still a big part of me. I believe the fright and sorrow I felt from the Aurora shooting is proof enough of that. It will never go away, this fierce love for the mountains and the dogs and the crazy winters. When I was in Hawaii, I missed Colorado the most around Christmas time. You can never truly know the best parts about Christmas until you've crunched through a field of snow, bundled up in jackets and sweaters and hats and scarves, eagerly anticipating the fleece blanket and cup of hot cocoa that awaited you at home. The dark nights in the suburbs of Aurora that you don't see in Honolulu because of the city lights…quiet neighborhoods sparkling with brightly colored Christmas lights and decorations. How all of the old grandmothers wear gift-wrapped earrings and Santa sweatshirts, and how everyone says "Merry Christmas" and "Happy holidays" to you starting at least a month before December 25th. I'm glad I got to return for a part of the holidays here.
But…different from my last "Day 18" entry…I now miss Hawaii fiercely.
This change has mainly to do with my heart learning the aloha spirit. I understand it a little more now, and love it even more than that.
The 'aloha spirit' means loving others when it is hard to love, giving when it is hard to give, sharing when it is hard to share. I tried looking it up online just now (because it wasn't something I learned from books, but rather from the people I've encountered while living there) - and found the chant taught to children to help them remember the meaning of aloha:
Akahai, meaning kindness to be expressed with tenderness;
Lôkahi, meaning unity, to be expressed with harmony;
`Olu`olu, meaning agreeable, to be expressed with pleasantness;
Ha`aha`a, meaning humility, to be expressed with modesty;
Ahonui, meaning patience, to be expressed with perseverance.
And for more concrete terms, some basic principles of having the aloha spirit:
Aloha is more than a word of greeting or farewell or a salutation.
Aloha means mutual regard and affection and extends warmth in caring with no obligation in return.
Aloha is the essence of relationships in which each person is important to every other person for collective existence.
Aloha means to hear what is not said, to see what cannot be seen and to know the unknowable.
You can show the aloha spirit in little things - such as supporting a friend when they are stressed or ill, treating someone to dinner who doesn't have much money, throwing a surprise birthday party for someone who isn't expecting it. These are the kinds of things that I think most people around the world do.
But, what's harder than that, is the idea of doing these good deeds without expecting anything in return. I have meet many local people in Hawaii who do not share this aloha spirit, or they do not share it with everyone they meet. But, I have also met so many who do. And those people have changed me. Helped me learn how peace of mind, happiness, comes with giving and not expecting.
Another something that is unique to Hawaii, and which helped me truly see this aloha spirit:
Leis.
We give each other leis for any occasion that inspires celebration and aloha. A ceremony in which a student has earned good grades, or a concert someone performed in, a birthday, a "you got the job!" celebratory dinner, a goodbye party, a welcome home party…and so on and so forth.
My strongest memories concerning leis have to do with graduation. Whether it be mine or someone else's, going to Ching field where hundreds of students come pouring out of Stan Sheriff center with their new BA, MA, PhD diplomas, is an experience that's worth remembering. The air is filled with laughter as people eagerly wait with their plastic bags of leis in hand. Those graduating take photo after photo, their necks and faces covered up by wildly vibrant flowers. The fragrant smell, on my own graduation day, did not leave me even after I took all of those flowers off.
I don't know of any place anywhere in the world that really celebrates graduation the way they do in Hawaii. You can feel the love in the air during those times.
So, even though I am happy to be in Colorado, and eager to be spending quality time with my family before I head off to Japan…I miss Hawaii as well. After several years there, I slowly made that my home. And just as I lost a lot of my Colorado pride (it's still there…but it's buried deep underneath all that aloha) when moving to Hawaii…I'm scared that the more time I spend apart from those islands I will slowly lose that side of me.
It won't be a quick loss, either. I won't wake up one day, realizing that I don't remember what it feels like to drive through Honolulu at night, looking for a place to have a few drinks and eats with good friends. Or what it feels like to turn that corner on the highway towards North Shore, and get hit in the face with endless sea and sky. I won't simply lose that feeling of greeting someone I just met with a hug and a kiss.
Rather, it will go slowly. The memories will not be as vivid in a few months. Distance and time will do what they always do, and fade away the feelings until they are no more than nostalgic "remember whens".
It scares me, because I love the 'me' that was molded in Hawaii. I have a lot of flaws still. But I am proud of how I've grown and matured over my time there. I'm sure I would have grown up just as well here, or somewhere else in the world. It's just that, I didn't. I didn't grow up here. I grew up there.
Well, I guess I will just count myself blessed that I was able to have Hawaii be a part of my life journey. It taught me many things that I can only hope will remain with me, as I continue forwards.
As Daenerys Targaryen tells herself, over and over in A Song of Ice and Fire:
If I look back I am lost.