A cautionary tale...
...and may the gods have mercy on our souls....
Loldies and Gentlolmen, I give you....
THE LOL OF THE RINGS! (I stole the plot synopsis from wikipedia. The rest was me and Flick laughing our asses off for about an hour....)
Long before the start of the novel the Dark Lord Lolron forges the Lol Ring to gain power over other rings held by the leaders of Men, Elves and Dwarves. He is defeated in battle, and Lolsildur cuts off his Ring and claims it as an heirloom for his line. Lolsildur is later killed by Orcs, and the Ring is lost in the river Lolduin. Over two thousand years later, the Ring comes into the hands of the hobbit Sméalol, who hides under the mountains, where the Ring transforms him over the course of hundreds of years into a suspicious, corrupted being called Lollum. Eventually he loses the Ring, and, as recounted in The Hobbit, it is found by Billol Baggins. Meanwhile Lolron takes a new physical form and reoccupies Loldor, his old realm. Lollum sets out in search of the Ring, but is captured by Lolron, who learns that Billol has the Ring. Lollum is set loose, and Lolron, who needs the Ring to regain his full power, sends forth the Lolwraiths (Nazglol), his dark, fearsome servants, to seize it.
Book One - The Fellolship of the Ring
The novel begins in the Shire, as Loldo Baggins inherits the Ring from Billol. Both are unaware of its origin, but Loldalf the Grey, a wizard, learns of the Ring's history and advises Loldo to take it away from the Shire. Loldo leaves, taking his gardener and friend, Samlol ("Samwise the Lol") Gamgee, and two cousins, Merialol ("Merialol") Brandybuck and Perelol ("Perelol") Took, as companions. They nearly encounter the Lolwraiths (Nazglol) while still in the Shire, but shake off pursuit by cutting through the Lol Forest, where they are aided by the enigmatic and powerful Tom Bombalol. After leaving the Forest, they stop in the town of Bree, where they meet Aralol, Isildur's heir, who joins them as guide and protector. They leave Bree after narrowly escaping attack, but the Lolwraiths (Nazglol) follow them to the look-out hill of Weatherlol, and wound Loldo with a magical blade. Aralol leads the lolbits toward the refuge of Rivenlol, while Loldo gradually succumbs to the wound. At the Lol of Bruinen, the Lolwraiths (Nazglol) attack again, but flood waters controlled by Lolrond, master of Rivenlol, rise up and overwhelm them, saving the company.
Loldo recovers in Rivenlol under the care of Lolrond. The Council of Lolrond reveals much significant history about Lolron and the Ring, as well as the news that Lolron has corrupted the wizard Sarulol. The Council decides that the threat of Lolron is too great and that the best course of action is to destroy the Ring by returning it to Lol in Loldor, where it was forged. Loldo volunteers to take the Ring, and a "Fellolship of the Ring" is chosen to accompany and protect him: Samwise the Lol, Merialol, Perelol, Aralol, Loldalf, Gimlol the Dwarf, Legolol the Elf, and the man Borolol, son of the Ruling Steward Denelol of the realm of Loldor.
The company attempt the Pass of Loladhras, before deciding to pass through the Mines of Lolria, where they are attacked by Orcs. Loldalf perishes while fighting the ancient and terrible Lolrog, allowing the others to escape. The remaining company take refuge in the Elven forest of Lothlólien. With boats and gifts from the Lady Galoldriel, the company then travel down the River Anduin to the hill of Amon Hen. There Borolol succumbs to the lol of the Ring and attempts to take it from Loldo, who breaks from the Fellolship to continue the quest to Loldor alone, though Samwise the Lol insists on coming to assist and protect him. Meanwhile, orcs sent by Lolron and Sarulol kill Borolol and kidnap Merialol and Perelol.
Book Two - The Two Lollers
Aralol, Gimlol and Legolol pursue the orcs into the kingdom of Lohlan. Merialol and Perelol escape when the orcs are slain by the Lolhirrim. The lolbits flee into Fanglol forest, where they are befriended by the tree-like Ents. In Fanglol forest Aralol, Gimlol and Legolol find not the lolbits but Loldalf, resurrected after his battle with the Lolrog and now the significantly more powerful "Loldalf the Epic". Loldalf assures them that Merialol and Perelol are safe, and they travel instead to rouse Théolol, King of Lohlan, from a stupor of despair inflicted by Sarulol, and to aid the Lolhirrim in a stand against Sarulol's armies. Théolol makes a stand at the fortress of Lol's Deep. Loldalf rides off to gather more soldiers while Aralol, Legolol, and Gimlol ride with Théolol to Lol's Deep. They are besieged by orcs, but Loldalf arrives with reinforcements, and the orcs are defeated.
The Ents attack Lollengard, trapping Sarulol in the tower of Lolthanc. Loldalf, Théolol and the others arrive at Lollengard to confront Sarulol. Sarulol refuses to acknowledge the error of his ways, however, and Loldalf strips him of his rank and most of his powers. Merialol and Perelol rejoin the others and Perelol looks into a lolantír, a seeing-stone that Lolron had used to communicate with Sarulol, unknowingly leading Lolron to think that Sarulol has captured the Ring-bearer, so Loldalf takes Perelol to Loldor.
On their way to Loldor, Loldo and Samwise the Lol capture Lollum, who has been following them from Lolria, and force him to guide them to Loldor. Finding Loldor's main gate, the Lol Gate impassable, they travel toward a pass known to Lollum. Lollum betrays Loldo by leading him to the great spider Shelol in the tunnels of Cirith Unlol. Loldo is left seemingly dead by Shelol's bite, but Samwise the Lol fights her off. Samwise the Lol takes the Ring, and forces himself to leave Loldo. Orcs find Loldo's body, and Samwise the Lol learns that Loldo is not in fact dead, but unconscious. Loldo is carried to the tower of Cirith Unlol, and Samwise the Lol determines to rescue him.
Book Three - The Return of the Lol
Lolron begins his military assault upon Loldor. Loldalf arrives at Minas Lolith in Loldor with Perelol, to alert Denelol of the impending attack. Minas Lolith is besieged, and Denelol, under the influence of Lolron through another lolantír, loses hope and commits suicide. Aralol, Legolol and Gimlol come to Loldor by the Paths of the Lol, where Aralol raises an undead army of lol-breakers in fulfilment of an old prophecy. The ghostly army help him to defeat the Corsairs of Lolbar invading southern Loldor, and the forces freed from the south, along with Lohlan's cavalry, help break the siege at Minas Lolith.
Samwise the Lol rescues Loldo, and they journey through Loldor. Loldo weakens as they near Mount Lol, but is aided by Samwise the Lol. Meanwhile, in the climactic battle at the Lol Gate of Mordlol, the vastly-outnumbered alliance of Loldor and Lohlan fight desperately against Lolron's armies, with the intent of diverting Lolron's attention from Mount Lol. At the edge of the Lol of Doom, Loldo is unable to resist the Ring, and claims it for himself. However, Lollum reappears, struggles with Loldo for the Ring, and bites off Loldo's finger, Ring and all, but in so doing falls into the fire, taking the Ring with him. The Ring is thus unmade. In the instant of its destruction, Lolron perishes, his armies retreat, his tower crumbles into dust, the Lolwraiths (Nazglol) disintegrate, and the War of the Lol seemingly ends. Aralol is crowned Lollessar, King of Lolnor and Loldor, and marries his long-time love, Lolwen, the daughter of Lolrond.
Meanwhile, however, Sarulol has escaped his captivity and enslaved the Shire. The four returning lolbits raise a rebellion and overthrow him. Sarulol is killed by his former servant Grima Wormlol, who is in turn killed by Lolbit archers. The War of the Lol thus comes to its true end on Loldo's very doorstep. Merialol and Perelol are acclaimed heroes. Samwise the Lol uses his gifts from Galoldriel to restore the Shire, and marries Lollie Cotton. Loldo remains wounded in body and spirit, and some years later, accompanied by Billol and Loldalf, sails from the Lol Havens west over the Sea to the Undying Lols to find peace. Samwise the Lol returns home, and eventually becomes Mayor of the Shire. After Rosie's death, Samwise the Lol gives his daughter the Lol Book of Westmarch, containing the story of Billol, Loldo, Samwise the Lol, Perelol and Merialol. He crosses west over the Sea, the last of the Ring-Lollers.
Things that we came up with that weren't in the synposis, but I couldn't be bothered to add in...
Loldo, played by Eloljah Wood, lives in Lol End, and drinks at the Lol Dragon
In Bree, they stay in the Lolling Pony
They have a Cave Lol
When Loldalf fights the Ballol, he shouts “You shall not Lol!” on the Bridge of Khazad Lol
When he falls, he cries out...”Lol...you fools”
Galloldriel's partner is Celolborn, and they are led into his presence by Loldir
Loldo gets the Lol of Lolrendil from Galloldrield and a shirt of mithlol from Billol
Aralol gets the shards of Lolsil forged into Lolduril
Gimlol gets a lol of her hair, and the group get some lolven rope
The Loluk-Hai, lel by Lulz attack the Fellolship at Amon Lol
Loldo and Samwise the Lol go to Loldor via Lolyn Muir and the Dead Lols
Lollum is nearly killed for trespassing in the Forbidden Lols
Theolol's relatives are Lolowyn, Lolomer and Lolodred
(Don't follow the lols...)
The capital of Lolhan is Loldoras
Merialol and perelol meet up with the end Lolbeard who gathers the ents for a lolmoot
in the
The Lolking of Lolmar made his base in Minas Morglol
When they invade Loldor, the forces of Lolron first attack Osloliath before the Battle of the Penelol Fields
Aralol uses his lolling hands to heal Lolamir
The Southlols ride on giant Lolmakil
Loldo and Samwise the Lol sneak past the Everlolling Lol of Lolron
The plateua in Mordlol is called Gorgalol
Loldo and Samwise the Lol are save from the fires of Mount Lol by Lolhir
Notables of the Shire are Farmer Lolgut and Lolbelia Lolville-Baggins
Loldies and Gentlolmen, I give you....
THE LOL OF THE RINGS! (I stole the plot synopsis from wikipedia. The rest was me and Flick laughing our asses off for about an hour....)
Long before the start of the novel the Dark Lord Lolron forges the Lol Ring to gain power over other rings held by the leaders of Men, Elves and Dwarves. He is defeated in battle, and Lolsildur cuts off his Ring and claims it as an heirloom for his line. Lolsildur is later killed by Orcs, and the Ring is lost in the river Lolduin. Over two thousand years later, the Ring comes into the hands of the hobbit Sméalol, who hides under the mountains, where the Ring transforms him over the course of hundreds of years into a suspicious, corrupted being called Lollum. Eventually he loses the Ring, and, as recounted in The Hobbit, it is found by Billol Baggins. Meanwhile Lolron takes a new physical form and reoccupies Loldor, his old realm. Lollum sets out in search of the Ring, but is captured by Lolron, who learns that Billol has the Ring. Lollum is set loose, and Lolron, who needs the Ring to regain his full power, sends forth the Lolwraiths (Nazglol), his dark, fearsome servants, to seize it.
Book One - The Fellolship of the Ring
The novel begins in the Shire, as Loldo Baggins inherits the Ring from Billol. Both are unaware of its origin, but Loldalf the Grey, a wizard, learns of the Ring's history and advises Loldo to take it away from the Shire. Loldo leaves, taking his gardener and friend, Samlol ("Samwise the Lol") Gamgee, and two cousins, Merialol ("Merialol") Brandybuck and Perelol ("Perelol") Took, as companions. They nearly encounter the Lolwraiths (Nazglol) while still in the Shire, but shake off pursuit by cutting through the Lol Forest, where they are aided by the enigmatic and powerful Tom Bombalol. After leaving the Forest, they stop in the town of Bree, where they meet Aralol, Isildur's heir, who joins them as guide and protector. They leave Bree after narrowly escaping attack, but the Lolwraiths (Nazglol) follow them to the look-out hill of Weatherlol, and wound Loldo with a magical blade. Aralol leads the lolbits toward the refuge of Rivenlol, while Loldo gradually succumbs to the wound. At the Lol of Bruinen, the Lolwraiths (Nazglol) attack again, but flood waters controlled by Lolrond, master of Rivenlol, rise up and overwhelm them, saving the company.
Loldo recovers in Rivenlol under the care of Lolrond. The Council of Lolrond reveals much significant history about Lolron and the Ring, as well as the news that Lolron has corrupted the wizard Sarulol. The Council decides that the threat of Lolron is too great and that the best course of action is to destroy the Ring by returning it to Lol in Loldor, where it was forged. Loldo volunteers to take the Ring, and a "Fellolship of the Ring" is chosen to accompany and protect him: Samwise the Lol, Merialol, Perelol, Aralol, Loldalf, Gimlol the Dwarf, Legolol the Elf, and the man Borolol, son of the Ruling Steward Denelol of the realm of Loldor.
The company attempt the Pass of Loladhras, before deciding to pass through the Mines of Lolria, where they are attacked by Orcs. Loldalf perishes while fighting the ancient and terrible Lolrog, allowing the others to escape. The remaining company take refuge in the Elven forest of Lothlólien. With boats and gifts from the Lady Galoldriel, the company then travel down the River Anduin to the hill of Amon Hen. There Borolol succumbs to the lol of the Ring and attempts to take it from Loldo, who breaks from the Fellolship to continue the quest to Loldor alone, though Samwise the Lol insists on coming to assist and protect him. Meanwhile, orcs sent by Lolron and Sarulol kill Borolol and kidnap Merialol and Perelol.
Book Two - The Two Lollers
Aralol, Gimlol and Legolol pursue the orcs into the kingdom of Lohlan. Merialol and Perelol escape when the orcs are slain by the Lolhirrim. The lolbits flee into Fanglol forest, where they are befriended by the tree-like Ents. In Fanglol forest Aralol, Gimlol and Legolol find not the lolbits but Loldalf, resurrected after his battle with the Lolrog and now the significantly more powerful "Loldalf the Epic". Loldalf assures them that Merialol and Perelol are safe, and they travel instead to rouse Théolol, King of Lohlan, from a stupor of despair inflicted by Sarulol, and to aid the Lolhirrim in a stand against Sarulol's armies. Théolol makes a stand at the fortress of Lol's Deep. Loldalf rides off to gather more soldiers while Aralol, Legolol, and Gimlol ride with Théolol to Lol's Deep. They are besieged by orcs, but Loldalf arrives with reinforcements, and the orcs are defeated.
The Ents attack Lollengard, trapping Sarulol in the tower of Lolthanc. Loldalf, Théolol and the others arrive at Lollengard to confront Sarulol. Sarulol refuses to acknowledge the error of his ways, however, and Loldalf strips him of his rank and most of his powers. Merialol and Perelol rejoin the others and Perelol looks into a lolantír, a seeing-stone that Lolron had used to communicate with Sarulol, unknowingly leading Lolron to think that Sarulol has captured the Ring-bearer, so Loldalf takes Perelol to Loldor.
On their way to Loldor, Loldo and Samwise the Lol capture Lollum, who has been following them from Lolria, and force him to guide them to Loldor. Finding Loldor's main gate, the Lol Gate impassable, they travel toward a pass known to Lollum. Lollum betrays Loldo by leading him to the great spider Shelol in the tunnels of Cirith Unlol. Loldo is left seemingly dead by Shelol's bite, but Samwise the Lol fights her off. Samwise the Lol takes the Ring, and forces himself to leave Loldo. Orcs find Loldo's body, and Samwise the Lol learns that Loldo is not in fact dead, but unconscious. Loldo is carried to the tower of Cirith Unlol, and Samwise the Lol determines to rescue him.
Book Three - The Return of the Lol
Lolron begins his military assault upon Loldor. Loldalf arrives at Minas Lolith in Loldor with Perelol, to alert Denelol of the impending attack. Minas Lolith is besieged, and Denelol, under the influence of Lolron through another lolantír, loses hope and commits suicide. Aralol, Legolol and Gimlol come to Loldor by the Paths of the Lol, where Aralol raises an undead army of lol-breakers in fulfilment of an old prophecy. The ghostly army help him to defeat the Corsairs of Lolbar invading southern Loldor, and the forces freed from the south, along with Lohlan's cavalry, help break the siege at Minas Lolith.
Samwise the Lol rescues Loldo, and they journey through Loldor. Loldo weakens as they near Mount Lol, but is aided by Samwise the Lol. Meanwhile, in the climactic battle at the Lol Gate of Mordlol, the vastly-outnumbered alliance of Loldor and Lohlan fight desperately against Lolron's armies, with the intent of diverting Lolron's attention from Mount Lol. At the edge of the Lol of Doom, Loldo is unable to resist the Ring, and claims it for himself. However, Lollum reappears, struggles with Loldo for the Ring, and bites off Loldo's finger, Ring and all, but in so doing falls into the fire, taking the Ring with him. The Ring is thus unmade. In the instant of its destruction, Lolron perishes, his armies retreat, his tower crumbles into dust, the Lolwraiths (Nazglol) disintegrate, and the War of the Lol seemingly ends. Aralol is crowned Lollessar, King of Lolnor and Loldor, and marries his long-time love, Lolwen, the daughter of Lolrond.
Meanwhile, however, Sarulol has escaped his captivity and enslaved the Shire. The four returning lolbits raise a rebellion and overthrow him. Sarulol is killed by his former servant Grima Wormlol, who is in turn killed by Lolbit archers. The War of the Lol thus comes to its true end on Loldo's very doorstep. Merialol and Perelol are acclaimed heroes. Samwise the Lol uses his gifts from Galoldriel to restore the Shire, and marries Lollie Cotton. Loldo remains wounded in body and spirit, and some years later, accompanied by Billol and Loldalf, sails from the Lol Havens west over the Sea to the Undying Lols to find peace. Samwise the Lol returns home, and eventually becomes Mayor of the Shire. After Rosie's death, Samwise the Lol gives his daughter the Lol Book of Westmarch, containing the story of Billol, Loldo, Samwise the Lol, Perelol and Merialol. He crosses west over the Sea, the last of the Ring-Lollers.
Things that we came up with that weren't in the synposis, but I couldn't be bothered to add in...
Loldo, played by Eloljah Wood, lives in Lol End, and drinks at the Lol Dragon
In Bree, they stay in the Lolling Pony
They have a Cave Lol
When Loldalf fights the Ballol, he shouts “You shall not Lol!” on the Bridge of Khazad Lol
When he falls, he cries out...”Lol...you fools”
Galloldriel's partner is Celolborn, and they are led into his presence by Loldir
Loldo gets the Lol of Lolrendil from Galloldrield and a shirt of mithlol from Billol
Aralol gets the shards of Lolsil forged into Lolduril
Gimlol gets a lol of her hair, and the group get some lolven rope
The Loluk-Hai, lel by Lulz attack the Fellolship at Amon Lol
Loldo and Samwise the Lol go to Loldor via Lolyn Muir and the Dead Lols
Lollum is nearly killed for trespassing in the Forbidden Lols
Theolol's relatives are Lolowyn, Lolomer and Lolodred
(Don't follow the lols...)
The capital of Lolhan is Loldoras
Merialol and perelol meet up with the end Lolbeard who gathers the ents for a lolmoot
in the
The Lolking of Lolmar made his base in Minas Morglol
When they invade Loldor, the forces of Lolron first attack Osloliath before the Battle of the Penelol Fields
Aralol uses his lolling hands to heal Lolamir
The Southlols ride on giant Lolmakil
Loldo and Samwise the Lol sneak past the Everlolling Lol of Lolron
The plateua in Mordlol is called Gorgalol
Loldo and Samwise the Lol are save from the fires of Mount Lol by Lolhir
Notables of the Shire are Farmer Lolgut and Lolbelia Lolville-Baggins