crack
somebody please remind me that im awesome and am not going completely insane. in one night i managed to overdraw my bank account, completely fuck up an epi assignment (too late to ask for help since i put it off) lock my keys in my car with the dome light on, get taken advantage of by a needy ex boyfriend (not sexually) who i can't say no to when he needs help, get a speeding ticket on the way to doing that, recieve threatening phone calls from said x's 17 year old girlfriend, calm her down and tell her shes a good person and that everything is going to be ok... and not sleep a wink when i had a 730 am exam i barely had a chance to study for. sorry for the run on sentance. you'll get over it.
and thats just tuesday.
im on so many uppers my teeth are grinding away into nothingness my hands are shaking and i dont sleep or eat. but if i dont take them i cant read or do school work w/o being distracted by passing butterflys... FOR THREE HOURS!
i mean, theres totaly a lot of good things going on in my life. i finally have a boyfriend who is as compassionate about life as i am. he would do anything for me and forgive me anything. when he found out about dwayne, he was much more concerned about dwayne being ok than me seeing dwayne. if the situation were reversed dwayne would have broken his skull... or at least threatened to.
i applied at the aquatic and fitness center the other day and hopefully theyre hire me... since i practicaly live there any they all know my name and how awesome i am.
i just need to get a grip. i wana be a big girl and oraganize my own life w/o help but ive never done that successfully.
every time i express an emotion my mother assumes i have a new mental disorder. i was really happy the other day and she asked me why i was being so manic. i dont blame her at all. shes just worried. but i think my parents got it in their head a long time ago that i was really unstable and mentally unsound which im pretty sure is not true. its just a tough time. i dont think its that what im going through is not stuff everyone goes through.
right?
of course i am.
shit i have class. hahaha. i think they think i have a crack habbit in that class and a naughty inner voice tells me to play along and look more cracked out every class.
and thats just tuesday.
im on so many uppers my teeth are grinding away into nothingness my hands are shaking and i dont sleep or eat. but if i dont take them i cant read or do school work w/o being distracted by passing butterflys... FOR THREE HOURS!
i mean, theres totaly a lot of good things going on in my life. i finally have a boyfriend who is as compassionate about life as i am. he would do anything for me and forgive me anything. when he found out about dwayne, he was much more concerned about dwayne being ok than me seeing dwayne. if the situation were reversed dwayne would have broken his skull... or at least threatened to.
i applied at the aquatic and fitness center the other day and hopefully theyre hire me... since i practicaly live there any they all know my name and how awesome i am.
i just need to get a grip. i wana be a big girl and oraganize my own life w/o help but ive never done that successfully.
every time i express an emotion my mother assumes i have a new mental disorder. i was really happy the other day and she asked me why i was being so manic. i dont blame her at all. shes just worried. but i think my parents got it in their head a long time ago that i was really unstable and mentally unsound which im pretty sure is not true. its just a tough time. i dont think its that what im going through is not stuff everyone goes through.
right?
of course i am.
shit i have class. hahaha. i think they think i have a crack habbit in that class and a naughty inner voice tells me to play along and look more cracked out every class.