(no subject)
Let me say this before you get any farther, this entry may become emo. I haven't updated in a long time, and I have a lot to say, so fair warning.
So this year started off really crappy, on one of the first few days of January I got into a big fight with Nicole with pretty much ended with me telling her that I didn't want to move out there and live with her family. There were a lot of reasons why, but there was a big snafu the last time I visited her about ruining a surprise by getting mad when her sister took something of mine without asking. Needless to say it made the visit very unpleasant. This lead to about 2 weeks of not talking to each other, and then like 6 months of me trying to fix things and her not wanting me to. So after all that she basically told me to not even bother and that she already found someone else.
There are days where it bothers me that I couldn't fix things, there are other days when it bothers me that I screwed things up, and there are other days when I think she's the one messed up. I dunno what to think anymore about it, I'm lonely and want her back, but at the same time I don't know if I could take her back after she hurt me like she did and strung me along for so long. I don't know what to think. I need someone to talk to about it, but that leads me to my next point.
I've become such a social hermit and I only realize it now. I've kinda cut myself off from the rest of the world when I'm not at work and only talk to like 3 people. I'm trying to change that, I've joined Facebook, I'm starting a Myspace page, and all that stuff. So if you're reading this, talk to me some time, I need some friends again.
I don't think I know who I am anymore, I'm so confused. I don't know what I want to do with my life, I don't know what I like anymore, it seems the only thing I enjoy doing anymore is wasting time and playing video games. It's hard to explain how I'm feeling because I feel like I've abandoned myself and don't know where I went. Hell that doesn't even make any sense to me and I'm the one who wrote it.
I need to get out of my job in retail, but the problem is I'm in debt to the point where I'll have to work there 2 more years to get it all paid off, I'm working on that, selling some stuff I don't need anymore. I've been putting stuff on eBay pretty regularly, I've made a little progress so far.
I forgot where I was going.... ok bye I guess
So this year started off really crappy, on one of the first few days of January I got into a big fight with Nicole with pretty much ended with me telling her that I didn't want to move out there and live with her family. There were a lot of reasons why, but there was a big snafu the last time I visited her about ruining a surprise by getting mad when her sister took something of mine without asking. Needless to say it made the visit very unpleasant. This lead to about 2 weeks of not talking to each other, and then like 6 months of me trying to fix things and her not wanting me to. So after all that she basically told me to not even bother and that she already found someone else.
There are days where it bothers me that I couldn't fix things, there are other days when it bothers me that I screwed things up, and there are other days when I think she's the one messed up. I dunno what to think anymore about it, I'm lonely and want her back, but at the same time I don't know if I could take her back after she hurt me like she did and strung me along for so long. I don't know what to think. I need someone to talk to about it, but that leads me to my next point.
I've become such a social hermit and I only realize it now. I've kinda cut myself off from the rest of the world when I'm not at work and only talk to like 3 people. I'm trying to change that, I've joined Facebook, I'm starting a Myspace page, and all that stuff. So if you're reading this, talk to me some time, I need some friends again.
I don't think I know who I am anymore, I'm so confused. I don't know what I want to do with my life, I don't know what I like anymore, it seems the only thing I enjoy doing anymore is wasting time and playing video games. It's hard to explain how I'm feeling because I feel like I've abandoned myself and don't know where I went. Hell that doesn't even make any sense to me and I'm the one who wrote it.
I need to get out of my job in retail, but the problem is I'm in debt to the point where I'll have to work there 2 more years to get it all paid off, I'm working on that, selling some stuff I don't need anymore. I've been putting stuff on eBay pretty regularly, I've made a little progress so far.
I forgot where I was going.... ok bye I guess