[PG-13] Heart Fall Out
Title: Heart Fall Out
Author: Novaforever
Characters/Pairings: Brittany/Santana, Brittany/Artie
Rating: PG-13
Length: 7,300
Spoilers: Up until 2.12 - Silly Love Songs
Summary: Every year on Valentine's Day, Santana got a heart from Brittany.
AN: Title from the Ke$ha song of the same name. Inspired by Santana's choice in jewelry in "Silly Love Songs" because clearly I pay to much attention to her accessory choices and need to rationalize them to myself. Thanks to my beta Jaz.
Every year on Valentine's Day, Santana got a heart from Brittany.
It wasn't something that was planned at all. In fact, Santana had never really enjoyed the holiday much, but Brittany loved everything and everyone. So of course the day of the year that celebrated that emotion was a favorite for the blonde. Santana brushed off the day for the most part, relishing in the gifts and attention it brought her, and Brittany would go around as her normal bubbly self, spreading sunshine and rainbows.
But only Santana would get a special heart shaped gift at the end of the day.
Some years it was a cupcake in the shape of a heart. Others it was a handmade Valentine's Day heart card, complete with doodles of the two of them in the margins (sometimes with a duck or two as well). Or perhaps a heart shaped, cherry lollipop with her name carefully written on it.
The form of the gift didn't really matter that much. What mattered was that it was always there, every year, without fail.
And without fail, Santana could feel just how much her blonde friend loved her.
=
=
Santana was never one to get excited over a lame holiday like Valentine's Day. I mean, it wasn't Christmas when she was showered with gifts from her parents (no doubt to make up for their absence on every other day of the year). The entire concept of the cheap gifts didn't make any sense either. The amount of caring someone had was directly proportional to the amount of money they dropped from their wallet, right? On Valentine's the only thing she received was a small pile of those crappy generic cards with Ninja Turtles, Care Bears, or whatever kids felt was cool that week, printed on the front.
And none of that trash was as cool as the new three story doll house she had gotten from her papa at Christmas. Santana knew for a fact that it had set him back several hundred dollars. Obviously he cared the most.
So really, Valentine's Day? Waste of time and effort.
Yet no matter how much the Latina whined in class about the pointlessness of the holiday, every year without fail all the students would be forced to give each other inane cards and tiny pieces of chocolate. Her teacher would always scold her for her attitude (something Santana was becoming increasingly used to) and she would continue to pout from her seat at the back of the classroom. There was only one reason why she didn't complain louder about Valentine's Day.
Brittany.
Her blonde best friend was in love with the holiday. Of course. Brittany loved everything-dumb holidays included. The second the teacher had announced to the class that they would be trading cards and candy, Brittany's face had lit up. Santana had watched in silence how the girl started bouncing in her seat, clearly thrilled with the news.
It had almost been enough to make Santana smile too. Almost. Not that she had though, because that would have just encouraged their teacher more.
Brittany turned her beaming smile to Santana and had begun to chatter aimlessly about the kind of Valentines she hoped her parents would let her get this year. She had somehow even roped her into going with her to the local Target to pick out the perfect box of childish cards to hand out to everyone.
So Valentine's Day had arrived, complete with a pathetic pile of cards on her desk at school. Santana sifted through the cards that had been placed there during the Valentine's Day exchange. She poked through the pieces of cardboard covered in cartoon characters and pulled off the chocolates taped to them before shoving the cards to the side. Eventually she made it to a card plastered with a picture of Cheer Bear beaming a rainbow with her stomach that had a candy heart glued to it.
"You can eat the candy you know," came a voice from over Santana's shoulder.
Santana rolled her eyes as Brittany wrapped her arms around her shoulders and leaned her head down onto Santana's shoulder.
"Britt, I can't eat this. You glued it to the card. It would just taste gross."
She could feel Brittany frown into her neck before the blonde turned her head to look out at the class with a worried expression.
"Oh no... I gave those out to everyone though," Brittany said with concern.
Santana quickly backpedaled in an attempt to calm her best friend.
"Um I'm sure they will still like them. They are probably fine, B."
Brittany lit up again at Santana's attempts at reassurance.
"Oh okay good! Don't worry S, no one got an awesome Cheer Bear card. I saved that one for you 'cause I know how much you secretly like rainbows."
Santana instinctively glared around the room at anyone that may have inadvertently heard that little tidbit before turning to Brittany with a small smile. Brittany simply beamed back before giving a shifty, conspiratorial look and leaning forward. Her lips lightly brushed Santana's ear as she whispered, still loudly because Brittany had never been good at volume control, to her another secret.
"I’m gonna have another present for you, too. You'll get it later though. I don't want to make all the other kids feel bad that you are my favorite."
With that the blonde tightened her grip around Santana's shoulders and snuggled into her neck once more. Santana felt some heat rush up to her cheeks and simply mumbled her thanks as Brittany made contented noises into her hair.
When her homeroom class was done with its pathetic attempt at celebration, Santana had gone home to find a large, heart shaped box of chocolates on the kitchen counter. It was wrapped in shimmering red foil and completely lacked any type of cartoon mascot on it. Santana had no doubt that it was the most expensive box of chocolates offered from whatever store her papa had gone to and could feel what must have been his love emanating from the package.
She grabbed the box and sat down on the living room couch, picking through the assortment of candies for her favorites while she watched television silently.
After a few hours of just lazing around and avoiding her math homework she heard a hollow knocking sound echo throughout the kitchen. Santana's eyebrows knit together. Her parents were never home until after she was in bed and the neighbors had stopped bothering to check in on her. She cautiously made her way back into the kitchen and peaked out through the sliding glass door.
A rosy-cheeked Brittany cheerily waved back at her, hat almost falling off her head with her enthusiasm. Santana's eyes widened in shock and rushed to open the door and let the obviously cold girl inside into the warmth of her kitchen.
"What are you doing here B?" Santana asked with concern as she closed the door behind the shivering blonde. "The streets haven't been cleared in weeks! How did you even make it here?"
"I went through people's yards to avoid the ice. I think I have snow in my boots now though," Brittany said as she looked sadly down at her feet.
Santana immediately dropped to the ground and helped her best friend out of her wet boots and helped her over the couch.
"Of course there is snow in your boots, B. There is like two feet of snow out there," Santana grumbled as she got a throw blanket for Brittany.
Brittany simply smiled at Santana's obvious concern and pushed her fluffy trapper’s hat into its proper position on top of her head. Santana slid under the blanket and let Brittany curl into her warmth, ignoring that despite the fact that the blonde was practically a walking popsicle, she still made Santana feel like she was about to overheat. Brittany threw her arms around Santana in a loose hug before pulling back and rooting around inside her puffy winter jacket. After a bit of digging she pulled out a ziplock bag with a misshapen lump inside it.
"This is part two of your Valentine's Day gift from me!" Brittany exclaimed happily as she shoved the bag into Santana's hands.
Santana slowly opened the bag and let the lump fall into her hands. It wasn't anything she could positively identify, but if she had to guess, Brittany had tried to make her something shaped like a heart.
"I made it for you myself," Brittany said with obvious pride. "Mom tried to help, but I wanted this to be 100% from me. And I know how much you like sugar cookies..."
Her best friend's voice trailed off and she glanced at Santana expectantly. Santana glanced down at what Brittany had claimed was a cookie. It was burnt entirely on one side, and in some unexplainable phenomenon, the top of it was still soft. Never in a million years would she have guessed that this was a sugar cookie. Santana's gaze drifted back up to Brittany, who was watching her anxiously, obviously waiting for her friend to get excited over her gift. There was no way that Santana could resist that adoring look.
"Um thanks Britt," Santana said slowly.
Before her brain could tell her what a bad idea it was, she bit down into the cookie and started chewing.
It was certainly unique.
Santana quickly swallowed the cookie as fast as she could, desperate to get the charcoal taste out of her mouth.
"That was great!" Santana tried to say enthusiastically.
Her best friend seemed unconvinced and shifted closer to her on the couch.
"You're lying, San. You are making the same face that I made when I tried to eat that playdoh hamburger."
Santana just nodded frantically now that the cat was out of the bag. She threw the blanket off her legs and darted quickly down the hallway to the bathroom and pulled her toothbrush out of its holder, loading it up with toothpaste before attacking her teeth with it. A few seconds later she saw Brittany walk slowly into the bathroom with her. Santana's heart dropped at the sad look on Brittany's face. She finished brushing her teeth and quickly washed out her mouth.
"I'm sorry San!" Brittany wailed as she threw herself into Santana's arms. "I was just trying to do something special for you on Valentine's Day. I know you don't care about it, but I just wanted to show you that it was a really nice holiday."
With a small sigh Santana wrapped her arms around the taller girl and gave her a light squeeze.
"I know B. It just didn't taste... it tasted unique."
The blonde unwound herself from around Santana and quietly wiped a tear away from her eye.
"You know I love you, right? I would never try and poison you or something."
The dark haired girl felt the blood rush to her face again at Brittany's insistent words.
"N-no B! It was just fine. I swear," Santana stammered out.
"You don't have to lie. I always know when you are lying anyway."
Santana nodded blankly and kicked the ground in shame, the way she always did when Brittany caught her lying. Suddenly there was an insistent tug at the front of her shirt and she looked back up at Brittany. The other girl had a grin on her face once again.
"Hey I know what tastes better," Brittany said in another one of her stage whispers.
Before Santana could even guess what Brittany was thinking about the blonde surged forward and pressed her lips to Santana's. The kiss was sloppy, neither of them having any sort of experience in the matter, but Santana couldn't help but appreciate the feeling of Brittany's soft lips on her own. The blonde ended the kiss as suddenly as she started it and leaned back to smile at Santana again.
The Latina just stood in shock, a blush rushing up to her cheeks.
"How about that? Did that taste any better?" Brittany questioned with her typical happy grin.
Santana stammered out some response that didn't make any sort of sense to her ears, but Brittany seemed to understand her anyway.
"Good!" Brittany said happily as she bounced lightly on her feet. "You taste good, too. Like peppermint."
"That's because I just brushed my teeth," Santana mumbled as she nervously straightened Brittany's ridiculous trapper's hat.
Her friend simply grinned at her in response. Santana's breathe rushed out of her nervously, but Brittany didn't give her any time to be awkward. She stepped forward and grabbed Santana's hand and dragged her out of the bathroom and back towards the warm blanket on the couch.
"Wanna watch a movie now?" she asked Santana excitedly.
Santana grinned at her friend, knowing that Brittany had just been being her normally affectionate self. Potentially awkward moment averted.
"Your Valentine's Day favorite? Lady and the Tramp?" Santana asked, knowing exactly what her best friend would want.
Brittany nodded vigorously as she plopped down on the couch, hat falling into her eyes once again.
They both giggled and Santana trotted over to the DVD shelf to put in Brittany's favorite.
Valentine's Day hadn't turned out to be so bad. Even the cookie hadn't been so terrible.
In fact, Santana hadn't been lying when she said it had tasted unique. She couldn't be certain, but she felt that she could taste love in it.
Certainly more so than the expensive, thoughtless chocolates that littered the ground at their feet.
=
=
It was like the world had tilted on its axis. Nothing was as it should be. She was no longer a Cheerio. Frankenteen was practically the Brad Pitt of Lima High. Berry was actually bonding with people, even if they were glee freakshows.
All of the social order was just getting chucked out the window.
There was only a few days left before Valentine's Day this year and usually by now Santana was practically beating the boys off of her with their proclamations of how sexy she was and how much they wanted to make her feel like a princess on the most romantic day of the year.
This year she was just wandering around the mall looking at all the gorgeous things she would be given if she was still at the top of the proverbial pyramid. As if that wasn't painful enough, there was a most distinct something, someone, missing.
She glanced to the space her blonde friend usually occupied.
It was empty. Of course. Brittany had declined Santana's offer to hang out again to go out with Artie.
Clearly the world was in chaos.
Santana let out a huff as her boots clicked against the marble floors of the only remotely decent mall in Lima. Thinking about the current state of her relationship with her best friend depressed her more than she would care to admit. Whenever she pictured Brittany at this point a heavy feeling of guilt settled into the pit of stomach. Santana might be a bitch, but even she knew that her treatment of the blonde had been less than commendable.
With a heavy sigh she walked past the flower carts set up throughout the mall corridors; a constant reminder of the pending holiday. She scowled at the chocolate shops and their displays of oversized candies. Santana was quite content to spend the rest of her day not window shopping, because Santana Lopez never did that, but simply glowering at everyone and everything in her path.
Until she heard that airy giggle.
Santana boots clicked to a halt and her head whipped up towards the familiar sound. Her eyes instantly found the source of the happy noises.
Brittany was bent over a small jewelry counter, giggling as she poked and prodded at the glass surrounding the expensive pieces. Her blonde hair fell forward like a golden curtain, hiding her face, but not covering up the excited noises she was making. Santana watched as Brittany straightened the black newsboy hat on her head before reaching backwards with her hand to clutch at something.
Artie.
The boy rolled closer to the glass cases to look inside at whatever Brittany was pointing at so excitedly. Instinctively, Santana reached up to her own necklace. Her fingers wrapped around the small silver heart that was hidden under her shirt, unnoticeable.
Was he buying her Valentine's Day jewelry? Santana had never really pegged Artie as the expensive gift giving type. He seemed far more likely to sing a love song for the holiday (also a stomach churning thought) rather than spend money on some bling for his girl.
Or was Brittany buying him something?
That option seemed at least a hundred times worse than the first one. Santana's fingers clenched even tighter around her necklace, the metal of it suddenly feeling hot against her skin.
What was she doing? Standing here watching her used-to-be-more-than-best-friend on a date with her boyfriend. Wearing jewelry that suddenly seemed massively inappropriate and filled with a little too much hope for her current situation.
Santana spun on her heel and charged off in the opposite direction where she knew the only Jared's in Lima was located.
She definitely needed a new accessory. One that didn't remind her constantly of what she couldn't have.
=
=
At sixteen Santana enjoyed the concept of Valentine's Day a little bit more. She still wasn't as into it as Brittany was, as her best friend would hang strands of hearts up in her locker and give cards to everyone she knew. Santana didn't do that shit, but she did have to appreciate that the holiday did have certain beneficial points to it.
Such as the boys.
She had quickly learned that most of her male classmates would fall over themselves to ask her out, Valentine's Day or not, as she strut through the hallways in her Cheerios uniform. The 'romantic' holiday just meant that they were even more persistent than usual, and usually she could get a free meal at one of the best restaurants in town and some bling. Valentine's Day sentiment might be a load of bull, but she couldn't deny that the mound of gifts she ended up getting from various boys made it a worthwhile date to mark off on her calendar.
Tonight had been no exception. After several dozen boys had attempted to win her over with chocolates, jewelry, and flowers, she had finally decided to let Jason, the star right wing from the hockey team, take her out for the night. After all, his gift of a 24 carat gold bracelet had clearly put him back several month's pay, and that clearly meant he cared the most, right?
Jason had taken her to Breadstix, which wasn't the most expensive restaurant in the world, but the city limits of Lima didn't have much else to offer. Santana had ignored the strict no carbs diet imposed by Sue and had eaten so many breadsticks she had lost count. Her date even topped off the meal with a box of chocolates and a pricy bouquet of roses. Not bad all in all. Santana had been impressed enough that she had gone down on him in the car at least.
After he had gotten off he had been more than happy to drop her off at her house. She had been just as willing to end the date there as she had other plans anyway.
She let herself into her empty house and trotted up the stairs to her bedroom. Without a second thought, she dumped the chocolates and flowers from Jason on the top of the dresser where the rest of her spoils from the holiday were piled. Once all the gifts were out of her hands, Santana made her way over to the bathroom to give herself a once over in the mirror, loosening her hair out of its high ponytail. Her pinky trailed around the corner of her mouth, making sure she didn't have any remnants of from her time in the back seat with Jason left on her.
A clicking sound came from her bedroom and let her know that she had company. Within a few seconds a blonde head poked into the bathroom, grinning at her.
"Hey San. How was your date?" Brittany asked with a smile as she bounced into the bathroom.
Santana shrugged.
"We went to Breadstix. Got chocolates and flowers. You know, the usual swag."
Brittany nodded in understanding before stepping next to her friend, looping her arms around her neck. A happy sigh escaped the Latina as the blonde gently rested her forehead against her own. Blue eyes twinkled at her and she could feel her body warm up at the simple contact.
"See? Valentine's Day isn't all bad," Brittany chided quietly.
Her breath washed over Santana's face. Suddenly the dark haired girl was conscious of what exactly she had been doing for the past half hour. Her eyes darted over to her toothbrush, suddenly desperate to get the taste of Jason out of her mouth. Brittany had other plans though. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against Santana's finding their natural rhythm instantly. Brittany's teeth nipped at her lower lip, tugging lightly in the way that drove Santana mad. Her mouth opened in a silent moan and Brittany lost no time at diving inside with her tongue.
The motion of Brittany's tongue gently working against her own filled her mind with a peaceful fog; something that never seemed to happen with all the boys she went out with, no matter how much bling they gave her before hand. Brittany's hands curled around her hips and pulled Santana even closer to her heated body. Santana's hands uselessly grasped at the front of the blonde's shirt as she let the fog roll over her.
All too soon Brittany pulled back out of the embrace and looked at Santana with hooded eyes, something else that Santana couldn't identify simmering just under the surface.
Suddenly Santana's eyes widened as her mind raced back to the back of Jason's red pickup truck.
"I can brush my teeth," Santana said quietly as she turned towards her toothbrush.
A hand reached out and stopped her mid-turn and pulled her back. Santana found herself staring up into Brittany's clear eyes again.
"No, S, you always taste delicious to me."
Brittany's eyes flickered for a second, almost pleading with Santana's chocolate ones.
"You're always delicious. No matter what," she whispered.
Any self-consciousness I felt over the kiss disappeared and was replaced with a leaden feeling of guilt. It settled deep in her stomach and made her feel even worse. Brittany obviously could tell that her words had unsettled Santana and reached down between the two of them to lace her fingers with Santana's.
"Come on! I have your Valentine's Day gift!" she announced with a giggle.
Blonde hair whipped through the air as Brittany turned around and began to drag Santana back into the bedroom. With a flick of her wrist, Brittany tugged the dark haired girl over to the bed, causing her to fall back onto the covers. Santana smiled as Brittany slunk onto the bed after her, crawling up her body to straddle herself on her thighs.
"So what did you get me this year?" Santana purred.
Brittany grinned down before biting her lip nervously. She fidgeted slightly on Santana's lap, the friction causing the Latina’s cheeks to heat up. An unsteady breath escaped her lips and she tilted her head upwards to kiss Brittany, needing to feel the girl's lips on her own. Brittany ducked her head down and pecked her on the lips quickly before leaning back. Santana scowled upwards at Brittany's brush off and leaned back onto her elbows.
"I want to give you your present San," Brittany said shyly.
Santana arched her eyebrow and smirked.
"Gimme."
Brittany looked down nervously again and fumbled her hand in the pocket of her sweatpants.
"Um... If you don't like it Santana, you can say so. I don't have a lot of money right now, with my mom cutting my allowance to cover the cost of the flooding in the basement when I tried to keep Captain Quackers."
There was a small chuckle from Santana at the mention of the mishap that had occurred when Brittany had tried to take a duck home from the park. The laughter died out though as Santana regarded the serious look on Brittany's face as she fumbled with what must have been her gift in her hands. Brittany took a deep breath and opened her palm, letting the necklace she had been clutching drop down to hang off her fingers in front of Santana.
The light reflected off the silver surface of the heart necklace and Santana could feel her breath get caught in her throat. Her eyes traced over the plain shape of the necklace, a small heart with a Y shaped design cut out of the center. There were no diamonds. No gold plating. No frills. It was simple.
It was perfect.
"Um I know how much you like bling... and all the boys are always giving you jewelry," Brittany mumbled as she bit her lip nervously again.
Santana pushed herself up off her elbows so fast she almost knocked Brittany off her lap. Her hands searched out the blonde's face and she pulled their forehead together, staring deep into her eyes.
"Britt. It's perfect."
Santana's heart swelled as a relieved smile swept across Brittany's face. Before she knew what was happening, Brittany knocked her backwards onto the bed, clutching her tight.
"I'm so glad you like it San!" she squealed as she hugged Santana.
"Yeah yeah, now are you going to put my new bling on me or not?"
Brittany squirmed backwards enough to unwind her arms from where they had latched themselves around Santana's middle. Grin still plastered to her face, she reached up and pulled Santana's hair to the side, exposing her neck. She scooted further up on the bed, closer to the smaller girl. Santana let out a shaky breath as Brittany leaned in and brushed a feather-light kiss to her neck.
Santana could practically hear her pulse in her ears. No matter how many boys she was with, no matter how many gifts they would lavish her with, no one ever treated her as gently as Brittany. Her touches seemed to dance across Santana's skin, even in the heights of passion, like she was somehow venerating her body. It never made Santana feel like she was worthy of her, with her used body and mouth that tasted of her other conquests.
Yet Brittany never seemed to mind. Santana smiled as she felt Brittany's fingers inch their way up and around her neck, following the path her lips had just taken. The taller girl clicked the clasp on the necklace and arched her neck back so she could appreciate the gift on her best friend. Santana looked down and admired the small heart that glinted against the dark skin of her chest.
"It's perfect B, really."
Her eyes glanced up from the necklace and met Brittany's. Santana could feel her face mirror the honest, blissful expression on the blonde's. A blush raced across Brittany's cheeks as she pressed down once more, laying herself on top of her friend. Her hands stretched up and she laced her fingers through Santana's wavy dark hair.
"You know I love you right?" she asked quietly, eyes tracing across Santana's face.
Now Santana was sure she could hear her pulse racing within herself. She had never had the strength to say those words back to Brittany. At least not in the way she knew that her best friend meant them.
Instead Santana nodded back slowly; her standard response to this question.
It seemed to be enough for Brittany though and the girl buried her face into Santana's neck, cuddling even closer. Santana took a few moments to enjoy the feeling of the taller girl pressed up against her, breath rustling her hair. Her fingers trailed patterns down Brittany's back.
"I'll never take it off," Santana murmured.
"Ever?"
"Ever," Santana promised, her tone leaving no room for disbelief.
Brittany let out a happy giggle and nipped at Santana's neck. The Latina could feel the blood racing through her veins once again, this time with a decidedly more southern route. Her hands drifted down Brittany's back and slipped up under her shirt, pulling the taller girl to straddle her hips like she had been previously. Brittany let out her tinkling laugh, the notes echoing through the bedroom, and reached down to meet Santana's impatient hands at the bottom of her shirt. With a quick flick of her wrists the shirt was up and over her head. Santana stared upwards at Brittany, admiring the view and noting that the girl had worn Santana's personal favorite lacy red bra of hers.
"Then let's take off everything else," Brittany said in a low voice.
Santana smirked back and soon their clothes were scattered across the room, forgotten in the flurry of the cheerleaders' personal Valentine's Day celebration.
Hours later Santana smiled as Brittany curled into her side, sweat cooling on their bodies. Santana tightened her arm around Brittany's sleeping form, reaching up to trace her new necklace with her free hand. It wasn't as big or expensive as any of the other pieces of bling she had collected throughout the day, but that didn't seem to matter. Although it wasn't large, the necklace seemed to be heavy with sentiment, love, from her best friend.
The tiny heart rested almost imperceptibly against her skin, blending and becoming a part of her.
Just like Brittany.
=
=
Santana ended up with a huge diamond encrusted golden heart as her new piece of bling.
But Santana Lopez didn't buy jewelry for herself. The concept alone was ridiculous. Why would she spend money on a necklace when a boy could give it to her in the name of love on Valentine's? Besides, it ruined the point of the whole action.
The tiny silver heart that Brittany had given her last year had been on her ever since that night. True to her word she had never taken it off once; not when she was showering, not when the silver clashed with her outfit slightly, not when she was panting heavily into the neck of some senior boy in the backseat of his car. It was practically a part of her to the point where she hardly noticed it around her neck most of the time. The necklace was simply always there.
Brittany was always there.
And right now she couldn't bear that idea. She couldn't wear that small heart and then watch Brittany roll past her on Wheels' lap. Someone else needed to be around her neck, someone who didn't burn into her skin with every feather light touch.
Her eyes narrowed as she took in her target, necklace heavy and harsh against her chest. She strut forward towards the mohawked boy and shoved the evidence of her emotion charged spending spree into his face.
Puck stared at her blankly.
"What's that?"
Santana simply smirked back.
"It's a receipt. I went to Jared. You can reimburse me, we'll have dinner at Breadstix, and then we can consider this settled."
Really, it was the perfect agreement. Puck got a hot date for Valentine's Day, she was freed from the chain that used to hang around her neck, and if Puck played his cards right, she might let him slide home. It was win-win.
Except that Puck didn't seem to be as thrilled about the plan as she was. Santana huffed in annoyance.
"Look, you made your point. I'm sort of a bitch. But I'm willing to change. I won't tell Lauren to look out for poachers who might mistake her for the endangered white rhino."
"I heard that."
Santana spun on her heel and came face to face with the much larger, equally as bitchy, Lauren Zizes.
Fuck it. She might not be head Cheerio, or even on the squad any more, but she still rated higher than Ms. Cadbury Eggs. Words tumbled out of her mouth.
Next thing she knew she was flying through the air and the cold metal of the hallway lockers bit into her back.
=
=
Santana shifted painfully on the small bed in the nurse's office, pain running up her ribs at the movement.
That certainly hadn't gone like she expected.
Honestly, she hadn't even expected a fight. Usually her cold glare was enough to send the lesser peons of the social structure scattering. Obviously Lauren Zizes didn't exactly fall into that category. The girl was a human wrecking ball. This only further enforced why Santana preferred to use her quick wit to get revenge, and not her brawn. Normally she could hold her own in a fight, but there was no denying the fact that she definitely didn't have size on her side.
By now the whole school would have heard of her failure to put Lauren Zizes, social outcast, into line.
A wince leapt to Santana's face as she squirmed on the bed again in embarrassment.
"Fuck this hurts... and I thought someone was getting me an ice pack," Santana raised her voice threateningly at the end, hoping that the nurse would hear her and get her ass in gear.
The curtains pulled around the bed were slowly drawn back and Santana let out a frustrated sigh.
"Finally. I've only been sitting her in pain for like an hour. At this point you should just give me a codeine and let me be on my-"
Santana's words died in her throat as she noticed the blonde head poking through the curtains. Brittany smiled shyly at her before stepping into the enclosure, ice pack in hand.
Well that certainly wasn't Mrs. Heaths.
"Hey San," Brittany said quietly as she stepped over to the bed.
"B... what are you doing here?"
Brittany shuffled closer to the small bed and shifted Santana's hands away from where they were grasping her aching sides. With a slight frown she pressed her cold ice pack to the Latina’s sore ribs underneath her blazer.
"You got hurt San," Brittany murmured as if it explained everything.
Santana let out a throaty chuckle, trying to ignore the way Brittany's fingers were lightly tracing her chest through the T-shirt in concern.
"Yeah? Well you should see the other girl. She got a taste of Lima Heights fo' sho'."
The blonde bit down on her lower lip and frowned.
"Stop it, S," she said quietly. "You aren't invincible you know."
Santana shifted uncomfortably underneath Brittany's steady fingers. Suddenly she could feel the truth in her best friend's words. She wasn't invincible, no matter how hard she tried to project that image. But her earlier break down at Rachel's harsh words had shown just how much other's opinions really did pierce her skin.
"Thanks for the reminder B. Trust me I know. The amount of work I'm going to have lined up for me to make up for the rep slip that Zizes cost me... urgh."
Brittany's fingers stopped their movements across Santana's ribs and withdrew her hand silently. At the absence of Brittany's touch Santana glanced up at her friend. The taller girl's eye brows were cinched together the way they always did when she was sad. Santana wanted to reach up and wrap the girl in her arms to comfort her, but Brittany's sad stare kept her pinned to the bed.
"Yeah. Because your reputation is what is most important."
The bitter tone of Brittany's statement hit Santana hard in her chest, pain radiating more from her words than even Lauren Zizes brutal beating had bestowed. Santana resisted the urge to curl up in a ball against Brittany's sad eyes. Despite what the rest of the school thought, Brittany wasn't dumb. She certainly knew what she was saying as much as Santana knew what she was implying.
"But it's always been that way with you San. It's okay."
Santana gripped the ice pack Brittany had left on her ribs and pressed it closer to herself, trying to numb her chest. Numb everything.
"San..."
The dark haired girl looked up at her best friend to see her staring her chest, sad eyes more intense than ever. Brittany slowly reached forward and Santana could feel her pulse speed up again as Brittany's hand reached out toward her.
Fingers traced over the diamond studded gold heart that rested on her collarbone.
Suddenly the necklace felt heavier than ever.
The silence settled between them, hanging heavy in the air.
Santana couldn't move, couldn't breathe. She simply laid there, frozen to the bed, staring up at Brittany's sad face as the blonde's fingers pressed lightly on the impossibly heavy heart. There was nothing to say right now. Brittany's face said it all.
Brittany's fingers eventually lifted away from Santana and the heart. With a final sad look she flitted back through the curtains and disappeared back out into the school hallways. Santana took a deep breath, the first she had taken since her friend had touched her.
Her eyes darted down and regarded the tacky piece of jewelry where it clashed with her honey colored skin. The heart continued to rest heavily, uncomfortably, on her chest. Constantly reminded her of its presence.
Santana's fingers drifted into the pocket on her blazer and brushed against the feeling of cold metal. They tangled along the silver strand there and pulled.
Brittany's heart dangled from the chain woven around her fingers.
Santana simply stared at the simple silver shape and let the familiar sensation of guilt settle in her stomach.
"I'll never take it off."
"Ever?"
"Ever."
=
=
This week had been terrible. Sure, Santana had gotten to wreak a bit of revenge on over privileged Quinn and her cabbage patch boy toy Finn, but any time she wasn't acting out she was forced to sit there.
Alone.
With her guilt.
And right now that was all she wanted to avoid.
Santana had stormed out of the nurse's office shortly after Brittany had left her there. She simply couldn't sit there in the dark, curtained room with her thoughts. At least out in the hallways there were people bustling around. Sure, they might not notice her now that she had been stripped of her Cheerios uniform, but at least she didn't feel so overwhelmingly alone.
The gaudy heart still pressed against her chest.
She pushed and shoved students out her way until she made it to her locker, furiously slamming it open. Her eyes caught on her reflection in the small mirror she had mounted on the locker door.
The heart stared back, large and obtrusive.
Santana's fingers wrapped around the chain of the necklace and yanked, not caring when the gold bit into her skin.
With a flick of her wrist, the heart was whipped into her locker, lost to the darkness behind her books.
=
=
Santana wasn't even sure why she bothered going to the Lonely Hearts party. She knew going what the night was bound to entail: the Warbler's singing some gay song, Puck trying to get into Lauren's plus sized pants, the incredibly Asian duo holding hands or crying or something.
Brittany cuddling up with Artie.
Santana quickly averted her eyes from that one, trying to distract herself with the pile of breadsticks on the table in front of her. Coming here alone had been a mistake. She should have at least roped some baseball or hockey player into coming with her just so she didn't look so lonely and pathetic.
Even Rachel fucking Berry was smiling at her over the divider between their tables.
She knew she was in trouble when Berry was taking pity on her. Fuck.
Her eyes darted around the room, looking everywhere but at her obliviously happy best friend with her boyfriend making out to her right. Finally she settled on watching the Warbler's performance, as uninteresting as it was.
"Love doesn't come in a minute," was crooned by the flamboyant lead towards Puck.
Santana resisted the urge to smirk at the impatient boy. Blaine had certainly picked an apropos line to describe her ex. She tore her eyes off the flirtatious Puck and Lauren duo and continued watching the singing pride parade. Blaine stepped forward and locked onto her.
"Sometimes it doesn't come at all."
What the hell.
She could feel her typical scowl form on her face and the resisted the instinct to turn towards Brittany. Instead she whipped the opposite direction and was met with Berry's sympathetic gaze.
Oh fuck this shit.
Santana slid lower in her chair, hoping for the first time in her life that she would just become invisible. She really didn't need Blaine pointing out her loneliness to the entirety of Lima. And she certainly didn't need Berry's understanding gaze.
Her fingers slid into the pocket on her black leather jacket and tangled with the strand of silver there. A familiar giggle echoed to her right causing her grip to tighten around the tiny silver heart.
Coming to Breadstix was definitely a mistake.
With an annoyed scowl plastered to her face, the kind she used when she didn't want anyone to question her, she pushed her chair back and strutted right out of the restaurant. She was no Berry; her storm out probably only drew attention due to the fact that she had neglected to steal an armful of breadsticks at the same time.
Frankly though, Santana was past caring. This wasn't how Valentine's Day was supposed to go. She was supposed to get showered in gifts and adorations. Get with hot boys.
Come home to a beautiful blonde in her bed.
A white cloud formed in the cold Ohio air as she burst through the doors to the parking lot. She watched the white tendrils evaporate into the air before hurrying to her parked car and away from any of the prying eyes that were sure to be watching her from inside Breadstix. As soon as she got inside the car she slammed the door shut, huddling in the driver's seat for warmth.
None of the happy sounds of couples and friends penetrated the cold steel of her luxury Mustang. The silence washed over Santana and somehow, as she always feared, just made her feel even worse. Instinctively her hand wound its way into her pocket once more to search out her necklace.
The silver of the chain flowed between her fingers, light, but still completely separate from her body. Her eyes drifted closed as she pictured Brittany in the warmth of Breadstix, smiling and laughing.
Happy and smiling without her.
This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. They were BrittanyandSantana. One and the same.
The cold metal drifting between her fingers reminded her once more that not everything was the same.
Santana couldn't even fathom it in her mind. When she opened her eyes everything would be the way it should be-Brittany in her passenger's seat, breadsticks stowed in her purse, and tiny silver heart securely around her neck.
She took a deep breath and opened her eyes slowly, hoping everything would magically be fixed.
Her passenger's seat was still empty.
Santana's fingers scrambled at the car visor, suddenly desperate to see the small heart hanging around her neck; to know that she simply couldn't feel it because it had blended with her person like it always had in the past, not because it wasn't there.
The visor fell down and Santana's breath caught.
There on the reflective surface was a misshapen pink heart.
Santana's finger traced over the heart drawn on the mirror in Brittany's favorite shade of pink lipstick. As she neared the bottom of the shape she leaned forward in the darkness to make out the small, barely legible words.
"I'm waiting."
Author: Novaforever
Characters/Pairings: Brittany/Santana, Brittany/Artie
Rating: PG-13
Length: 7,300
Spoilers: Up until 2.12 - Silly Love Songs
Summary: Every year on Valentine's Day, Santana got a heart from Brittany.
AN: Title from the Ke$ha song of the same name. Inspired by Santana's choice in jewelry in "Silly Love Songs" because clearly I pay to much attention to her accessory choices and need to rationalize them to myself. Thanks to my beta Jaz.
Every year on Valentine's Day, Santana got a heart from Brittany.
It wasn't something that was planned at all. In fact, Santana had never really enjoyed the holiday much, but Brittany loved everything and everyone. So of course the day of the year that celebrated that emotion was a favorite for the blonde. Santana brushed off the day for the most part, relishing in the gifts and attention it brought her, and Brittany would go around as her normal bubbly self, spreading sunshine and rainbows.
But only Santana would get a special heart shaped gift at the end of the day.
Some years it was a cupcake in the shape of a heart. Others it was a handmade Valentine's Day heart card, complete with doodles of the two of them in the margins (sometimes with a duck or two as well). Or perhaps a heart shaped, cherry lollipop with her name carefully written on it.
The form of the gift didn't really matter that much. What mattered was that it was always there, every year, without fail.
And without fail, Santana could feel just how much her blonde friend loved her.
=
=
Santana was never one to get excited over a lame holiday like Valentine's Day. I mean, it wasn't Christmas when she was showered with gifts from her parents (no doubt to make up for their absence on every other day of the year). The entire concept of the cheap gifts didn't make any sense either. The amount of caring someone had was directly proportional to the amount of money they dropped from their wallet, right? On Valentine's the only thing she received was a small pile of those crappy generic cards with Ninja Turtles, Care Bears, or whatever kids felt was cool that week, printed on the front.
And none of that trash was as cool as the new three story doll house she had gotten from her papa at Christmas. Santana knew for a fact that it had set him back several hundred dollars. Obviously he cared the most.
So really, Valentine's Day? Waste of time and effort.
Yet no matter how much the Latina whined in class about the pointlessness of the holiday, every year without fail all the students would be forced to give each other inane cards and tiny pieces of chocolate. Her teacher would always scold her for her attitude (something Santana was becoming increasingly used to) and she would continue to pout from her seat at the back of the classroom. There was only one reason why she didn't complain louder about Valentine's Day.
Brittany.
Her blonde best friend was in love with the holiday. Of course. Brittany loved everything-dumb holidays included. The second the teacher had announced to the class that they would be trading cards and candy, Brittany's face had lit up. Santana had watched in silence how the girl started bouncing in her seat, clearly thrilled with the news.
It had almost been enough to make Santana smile too. Almost. Not that she had though, because that would have just encouraged their teacher more.
Brittany turned her beaming smile to Santana and had begun to chatter aimlessly about the kind of Valentines she hoped her parents would let her get this year. She had somehow even roped her into going with her to the local Target to pick out the perfect box of childish cards to hand out to everyone.
So Valentine's Day had arrived, complete with a pathetic pile of cards on her desk at school. Santana sifted through the cards that had been placed there during the Valentine's Day exchange. She poked through the pieces of cardboard covered in cartoon characters and pulled off the chocolates taped to them before shoving the cards to the side. Eventually she made it to a card plastered with a picture of Cheer Bear beaming a rainbow with her stomach that had a candy heart glued to it.
"You can eat the candy you know," came a voice from over Santana's shoulder.
Santana rolled her eyes as Brittany wrapped her arms around her shoulders and leaned her head down onto Santana's shoulder.
"Britt, I can't eat this. You glued it to the card. It would just taste gross."
She could feel Brittany frown into her neck before the blonde turned her head to look out at the class with a worried expression.
"Oh no... I gave those out to everyone though," Brittany said with concern.
Santana quickly backpedaled in an attempt to calm her best friend.
"Um I'm sure they will still like them. They are probably fine, B."
Brittany lit up again at Santana's attempts at reassurance.
"Oh okay good! Don't worry S, no one got an awesome Cheer Bear card. I saved that one for you 'cause I know how much you secretly like rainbows."
Santana instinctively glared around the room at anyone that may have inadvertently heard that little tidbit before turning to Brittany with a small smile. Brittany simply beamed back before giving a shifty, conspiratorial look and leaning forward. Her lips lightly brushed Santana's ear as she whispered, still loudly because Brittany had never been good at volume control, to her another secret.
"I’m gonna have another present for you, too. You'll get it later though. I don't want to make all the other kids feel bad that you are my favorite."
With that the blonde tightened her grip around Santana's shoulders and snuggled into her neck once more. Santana felt some heat rush up to her cheeks and simply mumbled her thanks as Brittany made contented noises into her hair.
When her homeroom class was done with its pathetic attempt at celebration, Santana had gone home to find a large, heart shaped box of chocolates on the kitchen counter. It was wrapped in shimmering red foil and completely lacked any type of cartoon mascot on it. Santana had no doubt that it was the most expensive box of chocolates offered from whatever store her papa had gone to and could feel what must have been his love emanating from the package.
She grabbed the box and sat down on the living room couch, picking through the assortment of candies for her favorites while she watched television silently.
After a few hours of just lazing around and avoiding her math homework she heard a hollow knocking sound echo throughout the kitchen. Santana's eyebrows knit together. Her parents were never home until after she was in bed and the neighbors had stopped bothering to check in on her. She cautiously made her way back into the kitchen and peaked out through the sliding glass door.
A rosy-cheeked Brittany cheerily waved back at her, hat almost falling off her head with her enthusiasm. Santana's eyes widened in shock and rushed to open the door and let the obviously cold girl inside into the warmth of her kitchen.
"What are you doing here B?" Santana asked with concern as she closed the door behind the shivering blonde. "The streets haven't been cleared in weeks! How did you even make it here?"
"I went through people's yards to avoid the ice. I think I have snow in my boots now though," Brittany said as she looked sadly down at her feet.
Santana immediately dropped to the ground and helped her best friend out of her wet boots and helped her over the couch.
"Of course there is snow in your boots, B. There is like two feet of snow out there," Santana grumbled as she got a throw blanket for Brittany.
Brittany simply smiled at Santana's obvious concern and pushed her fluffy trapper’s hat into its proper position on top of her head. Santana slid under the blanket and let Brittany curl into her warmth, ignoring that despite the fact that the blonde was practically a walking popsicle, she still made Santana feel like she was about to overheat. Brittany threw her arms around Santana in a loose hug before pulling back and rooting around inside her puffy winter jacket. After a bit of digging she pulled out a ziplock bag with a misshapen lump inside it.
"This is part two of your Valentine's Day gift from me!" Brittany exclaimed happily as she shoved the bag into Santana's hands.
Santana slowly opened the bag and let the lump fall into her hands. It wasn't anything she could positively identify, but if she had to guess, Brittany had tried to make her something shaped like a heart.
"I made it for you myself," Brittany said with obvious pride. "Mom tried to help, but I wanted this to be 100% from me. And I know how much you like sugar cookies..."
Her best friend's voice trailed off and she glanced at Santana expectantly. Santana glanced down at what Brittany had claimed was a cookie. It was burnt entirely on one side, and in some unexplainable phenomenon, the top of it was still soft. Never in a million years would she have guessed that this was a sugar cookie. Santana's gaze drifted back up to Brittany, who was watching her anxiously, obviously waiting for her friend to get excited over her gift. There was no way that Santana could resist that adoring look.
"Um thanks Britt," Santana said slowly.
Before her brain could tell her what a bad idea it was, she bit down into the cookie and started chewing.
It was certainly unique.
Santana quickly swallowed the cookie as fast as she could, desperate to get the charcoal taste out of her mouth.
"That was great!" Santana tried to say enthusiastically.
Her best friend seemed unconvinced and shifted closer to her on the couch.
"You're lying, San. You are making the same face that I made when I tried to eat that playdoh hamburger."
Santana just nodded frantically now that the cat was out of the bag. She threw the blanket off her legs and darted quickly down the hallway to the bathroom and pulled her toothbrush out of its holder, loading it up with toothpaste before attacking her teeth with it. A few seconds later she saw Brittany walk slowly into the bathroom with her. Santana's heart dropped at the sad look on Brittany's face. She finished brushing her teeth and quickly washed out her mouth.
"I'm sorry San!" Brittany wailed as she threw herself into Santana's arms. "I was just trying to do something special for you on Valentine's Day. I know you don't care about it, but I just wanted to show you that it was a really nice holiday."
With a small sigh Santana wrapped her arms around the taller girl and gave her a light squeeze.
"I know B. It just didn't taste... it tasted unique."
The blonde unwound herself from around Santana and quietly wiped a tear away from her eye.
"You know I love you, right? I would never try and poison you or something."
The dark haired girl felt the blood rush to her face again at Brittany's insistent words.
"N-no B! It was just fine. I swear," Santana stammered out.
"You don't have to lie. I always know when you are lying anyway."
Santana nodded blankly and kicked the ground in shame, the way she always did when Brittany caught her lying. Suddenly there was an insistent tug at the front of her shirt and she looked back up at Brittany. The other girl had a grin on her face once again.
"Hey I know what tastes better," Brittany said in another one of her stage whispers.
Before Santana could even guess what Brittany was thinking about the blonde surged forward and pressed her lips to Santana's. The kiss was sloppy, neither of them having any sort of experience in the matter, but Santana couldn't help but appreciate the feeling of Brittany's soft lips on her own. The blonde ended the kiss as suddenly as she started it and leaned back to smile at Santana again.
The Latina just stood in shock, a blush rushing up to her cheeks.
"How about that? Did that taste any better?" Brittany questioned with her typical happy grin.
Santana stammered out some response that didn't make any sort of sense to her ears, but Brittany seemed to understand her anyway.
"Good!" Brittany said happily as she bounced lightly on her feet. "You taste good, too. Like peppermint."
"That's because I just brushed my teeth," Santana mumbled as she nervously straightened Brittany's ridiculous trapper's hat.
Her friend simply grinned at her in response. Santana's breathe rushed out of her nervously, but Brittany didn't give her any time to be awkward. She stepped forward and grabbed Santana's hand and dragged her out of the bathroom and back towards the warm blanket on the couch.
"Wanna watch a movie now?" she asked Santana excitedly.
Santana grinned at her friend, knowing that Brittany had just been being her normally affectionate self. Potentially awkward moment averted.
"Your Valentine's Day favorite? Lady and the Tramp?" Santana asked, knowing exactly what her best friend would want.
Brittany nodded vigorously as she plopped down on the couch, hat falling into her eyes once again.
They both giggled and Santana trotted over to the DVD shelf to put in Brittany's favorite.
Valentine's Day hadn't turned out to be so bad. Even the cookie hadn't been so terrible.
In fact, Santana hadn't been lying when she said it had tasted unique. She couldn't be certain, but she felt that she could taste love in it.
Certainly more so than the expensive, thoughtless chocolates that littered the ground at their feet.
=
=
It was like the world had tilted on its axis. Nothing was as it should be. She was no longer a Cheerio. Frankenteen was practically the Brad Pitt of Lima High. Berry was actually bonding with people, even if they were glee freakshows.
All of the social order was just getting chucked out the window.
There was only a few days left before Valentine's Day this year and usually by now Santana was practically beating the boys off of her with their proclamations of how sexy she was and how much they wanted to make her feel like a princess on the most romantic day of the year.
This year she was just wandering around the mall looking at all the gorgeous things she would be given if she was still at the top of the proverbial pyramid. As if that wasn't painful enough, there was a most distinct something, someone, missing.
She glanced to the space her blonde friend usually occupied.
It was empty. Of course. Brittany had declined Santana's offer to hang out again to go out with Artie.
Clearly the world was in chaos.
Santana let out a huff as her boots clicked against the marble floors of the only remotely decent mall in Lima. Thinking about the current state of her relationship with her best friend depressed her more than she would care to admit. Whenever she pictured Brittany at this point a heavy feeling of guilt settled into the pit of stomach. Santana might be a bitch, but even she knew that her treatment of the blonde had been less than commendable.
With a heavy sigh she walked past the flower carts set up throughout the mall corridors; a constant reminder of the pending holiday. She scowled at the chocolate shops and their displays of oversized candies. Santana was quite content to spend the rest of her day not window shopping, because Santana Lopez never did that, but simply glowering at everyone and everything in her path.
Until she heard that airy giggle.
Santana boots clicked to a halt and her head whipped up towards the familiar sound. Her eyes instantly found the source of the happy noises.
Brittany was bent over a small jewelry counter, giggling as she poked and prodded at the glass surrounding the expensive pieces. Her blonde hair fell forward like a golden curtain, hiding her face, but not covering up the excited noises she was making. Santana watched as Brittany straightened the black newsboy hat on her head before reaching backwards with her hand to clutch at something.
Artie.
The boy rolled closer to the glass cases to look inside at whatever Brittany was pointing at so excitedly. Instinctively, Santana reached up to her own necklace. Her fingers wrapped around the small silver heart that was hidden under her shirt, unnoticeable.
Was he buying her Valentine's Day jewelry? Santana had never really pegged Artie as the expensive gift giving type. He seemed far more likely to sing a love song for the holiday (also a stomach churning thought) rather than spend money on some bling for his girl.
Or was Brittany buying him something?
That option seemed at least a hundred times worse than the first one. Santana's fingers clenched even tighter around her necklace, the metal of it suddenly feeling hot against her skin.
What was she doing? Standing here watching her used-to-be-more-than-best-friend on a date with her boyfriend. Wearing jewelry that suddenly seemed massively inappropriate and filled with a little too much hope for her current situation.
Santana spun on her heel and charged off in the opposite direction where she knew the only Jared's in Lima was located.
She definitely needed a new accessory. One that didn't remind her constantly of what she couldn't have.
=
=
At sixteen Santana enjoyed the concept of Valentine's Day a little bit more. She still wasn't as into it as Brittany was, as her best friend would hang strands of hearts up in her locker and give cards to everyone she knew. Santana didn't do that shit, but she did have to appreciate that the holiday did have certain beneficial points to it.
Such as the boys.
She had quickly learned that most of her male classmates would fall over themselves to ask her out, Valentine's Day or not, as she strut through the hallways in her Cheerios uniform. The 'romantic' holiday just meant that they were even more persistent than usual, and usually she could get a free meal at one of the best restaurants in town and some bling. Valentine's Day sentiment might be a load of bull, but she couldn't deny that the mound of gifts she ended up getting from various boys made it a worthwhile date to mark off on her calendar.
Tonight had been no exception. After several dozen boys had attempted to win her over with chocolates, jewelry, and flowers, she had finally decided to let Jason, the star right wing from the hockey team, take her out for the night. After all, his gift of a 24 carat gold bracelet had clearly put him back several month's pay, and that clearly meant he cared the most, right?
Jason had taken her to Breadstix, which wasn't the most expensive restaurant in the world, but the city limits of Lima didn't have much else to offer. Santana had ignored the strict no carbs diet imposed by Sue and had eaten so many breadsticks she had lost count. Her date even topped off the meal with a box of chocolates and a pricy bouquet of roses. Not bad all in all. Santana had been impressed enough that she had gone down on him in the car at least.
After he had gotten off he had been more than happy to drop her off at her house. She had been just as willing to end the date there as she had other plans anyway.
She let herself into her empty house and trotted up the stairs to her bedroom. Without a second thought, she dumped the chocolates and flowers from Jason on the top of the dresser where the rest of her spoils from the holiday were piled. Once all the gifts were out of her hands, Santana made her way over to the bathroom to give herself a once over in the mirror, loosening her hair out of its high ponytail. Her pinky trailed around the corner of her mouth, making sure she didn't have any remnants of from her time in the back seat with Jason left on her.
A clicking sound came from her bedroom and let her know that she had company. Within a few seconds a blonde head poked into the bathroom, grinning at her.
"Hey San. How was your date?" Brittany asked with a smile as she bounced into the bathroom.
Santana shrugged.
"We went to Breadstix. Got chocolates and flowers. You know, the usual swag."
Brittany nodded in understanding before stepping next to her friend, looping her arms around her neck. A happy sigh escaped the Latina as the blonde gently rested her forehead against her own. Blue eyes twinkled at her and she could feel her body warm up at the simple contact.
"See? Valentine's Day isn't all bad," Brittany chided quietly.
Her breath washed over Santana's face. Suddenly the dark haired girl was conscious of what exactly she had been doing for the past half hour. Her eyes darted over to her toothbrush, suddenly desperate to get the taste of Jason out of her mouth. Brittany had other plans though. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against Santana's finding their natural rhythm instantly. Brittany's teeth nipped at her lower lip, tugging lightly in the way that drove Santana mad. Her mouth opened in a silent moan and Brittany lost no time at diving inside with her tongue.
The motion of Brittany's tongue gently working against her own filled her mind with a peaceful fog; something that never seemed to happen with all the boys she went out with, no matter how much bling they gave her before hand. Brittany's hands curled around her hips and pulled Santana even closer to her heated body. Santana's hands uselessly grasped at the front of the blonde's shirt as she let the fog roll over her.
All too soon Brittany pulled back out of the embrace and looked at Santana with hooded eyes, something else that Santana couldn't identify simmering just under the surface.
Suddenly Santana's eyes widened as her mind raced back to the back of Jason's red pickup truck.
"I can brush my teeth," Santana said quietly as she turned towards her toothbrush.
A hand reached out and stopped her mid-turn and pulled her back. Santana found herself staring up into Brittany's clear eyes again.
"No, S, you always taste delicious to me."
Brittany's eyes flickered for a second, almost pleading with Santana's chocolate ones.
"You're always delicious. No matter what," she whispered.
Any self-consciousness I felt over the kiss disappeared and was replaced with a leaden feeling of guilt. It settled deep in her stomach and made her feel even worse. Brittany obviously could tell that her words had unsettled Santana and reached down between the two of them to lace her fingers with Santana's.
"Come on! I have your Valentine's Day gift!" she announced with a giggle.
Blonde hair whipped through the air as Brittany turned around and began to drag Santana back into the bedroom. With a flick of her wrist, Brittany tugged the dark haired girl over to the bed, causing her to fall back onto the covers. Santana smiled as Brittany slunk onto the bed after her, crawling up her body to straddle herself on her thighs.
"So what did you get me this year?" Santana purred.
Brittany grinned down before biting her lip nervously. She fidgeted slightly on Santana's lap, the friction causing the Latina’s cheeks to heat up. An unsteady breath escaped her lips and she tilted her head upwards to kiss Brittany, needing to feel the girl's lips on her own. Brittany ducked her head down and pecked her on the lips quickly before leaning back. Santana scowled upwards at Brittany's brush off and leaned back onto her elbows.
"I want to give you your present San," Brittany said shyly.
Santana arched her eyebrow and smirked.
"Gimme."
Brittany looked down nervously again and fumbled her hand in the pocket of her sweatpants.
"Um... If you don't like it Santana, you can say so. I don't have a lot of money right now, with my mom cutting my allowance to cover the cost of the flooding in the basement when I tried to keep Captain Quackers."
There was a small chuckle from Santana at the mention of the mishap that had occurred when Brittany had tried to take a duck home from the park. The laughter died out though as Santana regarded the serious look on Brittany's face as she fumbled with what must have been her gift in her hands. Brittany took a deep breath and opened her palm, letting the necklace she had been clutching drop down to hang off her fingers in front of Santana.
The light reflected off the silver surface of the heart necklace and Santana could feel her breath get caught in her throat. Her eyes traced over the plain shape of the necklace, a small heart with a Y shaped design cut out of the center. There were no diamonds. No gold plating. No frills. It was simple.
It was perfect.
"Um I know how much you like bling... and all the boys are always giving you jewelry," Brittany mumbled as she bit her lip nervously again.
Santana pushed herself up off her elbows so fast she almost knocked Brittany off her lap. Her hands searched out the blonde's face and she pulled their forehead together, staring deep into her eyes.
"Britt. It's perfect."
Santana's heart swelled as a relieved smile swept across Brittany's face. Before she knew what was happening, Brittany knocked her backwards onto the bed, clutching her tight.
"I'm so glad you like it San!" she squealed as she hugged Santana.
"Yeah yeah, now are you going to put my new bling on me or not?"
Brittany squirmed backwards enough to unwind her arms from where they had latched themselves around Santana's middle. Grin still plastered to her face, she reached up and pulled Santana's hair to the side, exposing her neck. She scooted further up on the bed, closer to the smaller girl. Santana let out a shaky breath as Brittany leaned in and brushed a feather-light kiss to her neck.
Santana could practically hear her pulse in her ears. No matter how many boys she was with, no matter how many gifts they would lavish her with, no one ever treated her as gently as Brittany. Her touches seemed to dance across Santana's skin, even in the heights of passion, like she was somehow venerating her body. It never made Santana feel like she was worthy of her, with her used body and mouth that tasted of her other conquests.
Yet Brittany never seemed to mind. Santana smiled as she felt Brittany's fingers inch their way up and around her neck, following the path her lips had just taken. The taller girl clicked the clasp on the necklace and arched her neck back so she could appreciate the gift on her best friend. Santana looked down and admired the small heart that glinted against the dark skin of her chest.
"It's perfect B, really."
Her eyes glanced up from the necklace and met Brittany's. Santana could feel her face mirror the honest, blissful expression on the blonde's. A blush raced across Brittany's cheeks as she pressed down once more, laying herself on top of her friend. Her hands stretched up and she laced her fingers through Santana's wavy dark hair.
"You know I love you right?" she asked quietly, eyes tracing across Santana's face.
Now Santana was sure she could hear her pulse racing within herself. She had never had the strength to say those words back to Brittany. At least not in the way she knew that her best friend meant them.
Instead Santana nodded back slowly; her standard response to this question.
It seemed to be enough for Brittany though and the girl buried her face into Santana's neck, cuddling even closer. Santana took a few moments to enjoy the feeling of the taller girl pressed up against her, breath rustling her hair. Her fingers trailed patterns down Brittany's back.
"I'll never take it off," Santana murmured.
"Ever?"
"Ever," Santana promised, her tone leaving no room for disbelief.
Brittany let out a happy giggle and nipped at Santana's neck. The Latina could feel the blood racing through her veins once again, this time with a decidedly more southern route. Her hands drifted down Brittany's back and slipped up under her shirt, pulling the taller girl to straddle her hips like she had been previously. Brittany let out her tinkling laugh, the notes echoing through the bedroom, and reached down to meet Santana's impatient hands at the bottom of her shirt. With a quick flick of her wrists the shirt was up and over her head. Santana stared upwards at Brittany, admiring the view and noting that the girl had worn Santana's personal favorite lacy red bra of hers.
"Then let's take off everything else," Brittany said in a low voice.
Santana smirked back and soon their clothes were scattered across the room, forgotten in the flurry of the cheerleaders' personal Valentine's Day celebration.
Hours later Santana smiled as Brittany curled into her side, sweat cooling on their bodies. Santana tightened her arm around Brittany's sleeping form, reaching up to trace her new necklace with her free hand. It wasn't as big or expensive as any of the other pieces of bling she had collected throughout the day, but that didn't seem to matter. Although it wasn't large, the necklace seemed to be heavy with sentiment, love, from her best friend.
The tiny heart rested almost imperceptibly against her skin, blending and becoming a part of her.
Just like Brittany.
=
=
Santana ended up with a huge diamond encrusted golden heart as her new piece of bling.
But Santana Lopez didn't buy jewelry for herself. The concept alone was ridiculous. Why would she spend money on a necklace when a boy could give it to her in the name of love on Valentine's? Besides, it ruined the point of the whole action.
The tiny silver heart that Brittany had given her last year had been on her ever since that night. True to her word she had never taken it off once; not when she was showering, not when the silver clashed with her outfit slightly, not when she was panting heavily into the neck of some senior boy in the backseat of his car. It was practically a part of her to the point where she hardly noticed it around her neck most of the time. The necklace was simply always there.
Brittany was always there.
And right now she couldn't bear that idea. She couldn't wear that small heart and then watch Brittany roll past her on Wheels' lap. Someone else needed to be around her neck, someone who didn't burn into her skin with every feather light touch.
Her eyes narrowed as she took in her target, necklace heavy and harsh against her chest. She strut forward towards the mohawked boy and shoved the evidence of her emotion charged spending spree into his face.
Puck stared at her blankly.
"What's that?"
Santana simply smirked back.
"It's a receipt. I went to Jared. You can reimburse me, we'll have dinner at Breadstix, and then we can consider this settled."
Really, it was the perfect agreement. Puck got a hot date for Valentine's Day, she was freed from the chain that used to hang around her neck, and if Puck played his cards right, she might let him slide home. It was win-win.
Except that Puck didn't seem to be as thrilled about the plan as she was. Santana huffed in annoyance.
"Look, you made your point. I'm sort of a bitch. But I'm willing to change. I won't tell Lauren to look out for poachers who might mistake her for the endangered white rhino."
"I heard that."
Santana spun on her heel and came face to face with the much larger, equally as bitchy, Lauren Zizes.
Fuck it. She might not be head Cheerio, or even on the squad any more, but she still rated higher than Ms. Cadbury Eggs. Words tumbled out of her mouth.
Next thing she knew she was flying through the air and the cold metal of the hallway lockers bit into her back.
=
=
Santana shifted painfully on the small bed in the nurse's office, pain running up her ribs at the movement.
That certainly hadn't gone like she expected.
Honestly, she hadn't even expected a fight. Usually her cold glare was enough to send the lesser peons of the social structure scattering. Obviously Lauren Zizes didn't exactly fall into that category. The girl was a human wrecking ball. This only further enforced why Santana preferred to use her quick wit to get revenge, and not her brawn. Normally she could hold her own in a fight, but there was no denying the fact that she definitely didn't have size on her side.
By now the whole school would have heard of her failure to put Lauren Zizes, social outcast, into line.
A wince leapt to Santana's face as she squirmed on the bed again in embarrassment.
"Fuck this hurts... and I thought someone was getting me an ice pack," Santana raised her voice threateningly at the end, hoping that the nurse would hear her and get her ass in gear.
The curtains pulled around the bed were slowly drawn back and Santana let out a frustrated sigh.
"Finally. I've only been sitting her in pain for like an hour. At this point you should just give me a codeine and let me be on my-"
Santana's words died in her throat as she noticed the blonde head poking through the curtains. Brittany smiled shyly at her before stepping into the enclosure, ice pack in hand.
Well that certainly wasn't Mrs. Heaths.
"Hey San," Brittany said quietly as she stepped over to the bed.
"B... what are you doing here?"
Brittany shuffled closer to the small bed and shifted Santana's hands away from where they were grasping her aching sides. With a slight frown she pressed her cold ice pack to the Latina’s sore ribs underneath her blazer.
"You got hurt San," Brittany murmured as if it explained everything.
Santana let out a throaty chuckle, trying to ignore the way Brittany's fingers were lightly tracing her chest through the T-shirt in concern.
"Yeah? Well you should see the other girl. She got a taste of Lima Heights fo' sho'."
The blonde bit down on her lower lip and frowned.
"Stop it, S," she said quietly. "You aren't invincible you know."
Santana shifted uncomfortably underneath Brittany's steady fingers. Suddenly she could feel the truth in her best friend's words. She wasn't invincible, no matter how hard she tried to project that image. But her earlier break down at Rachel's harsh words had shown just how much other's opinions really did pierce her skin.
"Thanks for the reminder B. Trust me I know. The amount of work I'm going to have lined up for me to make up for the rep slip that Zizes cost me... urgh."
Brittany's fingers stopped their movements across Santana's ribs and withdrew her hand silently. At the absence of Brittany's touch Santana glanced up at her friend. The taller girl's eye brows were cinched together the way they always did when she was sad. Santana wanted to reach up and wrap the girl in her arms to comfort her, but Brittany's sad stare kept her pinned to the bed.
"Yeah. Because your reputation is what is most important."
The bitter tone of Brittany's statement hit Santana hard in her chest, pain radiating more from her words than even Lauren Zizes brutal beating had bestowed. Santana resisted the urge to curl up in a ball against Brittany's sad eyes. Despite what the rest of the school thought, Brittany wasn't dumb. She certainly knew what she was saying as much as Santana knew what she was implying.
"But it's always been that way with you San. It's okay."
Santana gripped the ice pack Brittany had left on her ribs and pressed it closer to herself, trying to numb her chest. Numb everything.
"San..."
The dark haired girl looked up at her best friend to see her staring her chest, sad eyes more intense than ever. Brittany slowly reached forward and Santana could feel her pulse speed up again as Brittany's hand reached out toward her.
Fingers traced over the diamond studded gold heart that rested on her collarbone.
Suddenly the necklace felt heavier than ever.
The silence settled between them, hanging heavy in the air.
Santana couldn't move, couldn't breathe. She simply laid there, frozen to the bed, staring up at Brittany's sad face as the blonde's fingers pressed lightly on the impossibly heavy heart. There was nothing to say right now. Brittany's face said it all.
Brittany's fingers eventually lifted away from Santana and the heart. With a final sad look she flitted back through the curtains and disappeared back out into the school hallways. Santana took a deep breath, the first she had taken since her friend had touched her.
Her eyes darted down and regarded the tacky piece of jewelry where it clashed with her honey colored skin. The heart continued to rest heavily, uncomfortably, on her chest. Constantly reminded her of its presence.
Santana's fingers drifted into the pocket on her blazer and brushed against the feeling of cold metal. They tangled along the silver strand there and pulled.
Brittany's heart dangled from the chain woven around her fingers.
Santana simply stared at the simple silver shape and let the familiar sensation of guilt settle in her stomach.
"I'll never take it off."
"Ever?"
"Ever."
=
=
This week had been terrible. Sure, Santana had gotten to wreak a bit of revenge on over privileged Quinn and her cabbage patch boy toy Finn, but any time she wasn't acting out she was forced to sit there.
Alone.
With her guilt.
And right now that was all she wanted to avoid.
Santana had stormed out of the nurse's office shortly after Brittany had left her there. She simply couldn't sit there in the dark, curtained room with her thoughts. At least out in the hallways there were people bustling around. Sure, they might not notice her now that she had been stripped of her Cheerios uniform, but at least she didn't feel so overwhelmingly alone.
The gaudy heart still pressed against her chest.
She pushed and shoved students out her way until she made it to her locker, furiously slamming it open. Her eyes caught on her reflection in the small mirror she had mounted on the locker door.
The heart stared back, large and obtrusive.
Santana's fingers wrapped around the chain of the necklace and yanked, not caring when the gold bit into her skin.
With a flick of her wrist, the heart was whipped into her locker, lost to the darkness behind her books.
=
=
Santana wasn't even sure why she bothered going to the Lonely Hearts party. She knew going what the night was bound to entail: the Warbler's singing some gay song, Puck trying to get into Lauren's plus sized pants, the incredibly Asian duo holding hands or crying or something.
Brittany cuddling up with Artie.
Santana quickly averted her eyes from that one, trying to distract herself with the pile of breadsticks on the table in front of her. Coming here alone had been a mistake. She should have at least roped some baseball or hockey player into coming with her just so she didn't look so lonely and pathetic.
Even Rachel fucking Berry was smiling at her over the divider between their tables.
She knew she was in trouble when Berry was taking pity on her. Fuck.
Her eyes darted around the room, looking everywhere but at her obliviously happy best friend with her boyfriend making out to her right. Finally she settled on watching the Warbler's performance, as uninteresting as it was.
"Love doesn't come in a minute," was crooned by the flamboyant lead towards Puck.
Santana resisted the urge to smirk at the impatient boy. Blaine had certainly picked an apropos line to describe her ex. She tore her eyes off the flirtatious Puck and Lauren duo and continued watching the singing pride parade. Blaine stepped forward and locked onto her.
"Sometimes it doesn't come at all."
What the hell.
She could feel her typical scowl form on her face and the resisted the instinct to turn towards Brittany. Instead she whipped the opposite direction and was met with Berry's sympathetic gaze.
Oh fuck this shit.
Santana slid lower in her chair, hoping for the first time in her life that she would just become invisible. She really didn't need Blaine pointing out her loneliness to the entirety of Lima. And she certainly didn't need Berry's understanding gaze.
Her fingers slid into the pocket on her black leather jacket and tangled with the strand of silver there. A familiar giggle echoed to her right causing her grip to tighten around the tiny silver heart.
Coming to Breadstix was definitely a mistake.
With an annoyed scowl plastered to her face, the kind she used when she didn't want anyone to question her, she pushed her chair back and strutted right out of the restaurant. She was no Berry; her storm out probably only drew attention due to the fact that she had neglected to steal an armful of breadsticks at the same time.
Frankly though, Santana was past caring. This wasn't how Valentine's Day was supposed to go. She was supposed to get showered in gifts and adorations. Get with hot boys.
Come home to a beautiful blonde in her bed.
A white cloud formed in the cold Ohio air as she burst through the doors to the parking lot. She watched the white tendrils evaporate into the air before hurrying to her parked car and away from any of the prying eyes that were sure to be watching her from inside Breadstix. As soon as she got inside the car she slammed the door shut, huddling in the driver's seat for warmth.
None of the happy sounds of couples and friends penetrated the cold steel of her luxury Mustang. The silence washed over Santana and somehow, as she always feared, just made her feel even worse. Instinctively her hand wound its way into her pocket once more to search out her necklace.
The silver of the chain flowed between her fingers, light, but still completely separate from her body. Her eyes drifted closed as she pictured Brittany in the warmth of Breadstix, smiling and laughing.
Happy and smiling without her.
This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. They were BrittanyandSantana. One and the same.
The cold metal drifting between her fingers reminded her once more that not everything was the same.
Santana couldn't even fathom it in her mind. When she opened her eyes everything would be the way it should be-Brittany in her passenger's seat, breadsticks stowed in her purse, and tiny silver heart securely around her neck.
She took a deep breath and opened her eyes slowly, hoping everything would magically be fixed.
Her passenger's seat was still empty.
Santana's fingers scrambled at the car visor, suddenly desperate to see the small heart hanging around her neck; to know that she simply couldn't feel it because it had blended with her person like it always had in the past, not because it wasn't there.
The visor fell down and Santana's breath caught.
There on the reflective surface was a misshapen pink heart.
Santana's finger traced over the heart drawn on the mirror in Brittany's favorite shade of pink lipstick. As she neared the bottom of the shape she leaned forward in the darkness to make out the small, barely legible words.
"I'm waiting."