Oct 26, 2005 18:09
remember, being friends means going to great lengths to avoid contact with the other person. and just so you know, i'm in one of those places where everything is all red and burning, like hell only much more annoying.
it makes me happy to know that every thought and word that ever passed between us now has a little shadow of doubt. did it really happen, did you really mean it, or are you like every other bitch that has fucked me in hopes of finding someone better.
i know these words sound cold but i can't help the way i feel sometimes (when i actually allow myself to feel anymore). considering this is my attempt at a soul cleansing, though i have been told by a reliable source that souls are out of fashion.
so many questions floating around now. and you act like i'm the one who hurt you. if you will remember, i'm the one who wanted us. i let you go, because you wouldn't do it yourself.
i love you so much sometimes, i wish i could rip out my eyes. give myself a chance to re-adjust. the funny part is that as much as i love you, right now, i could kill you without a second thought. pretty fucked huh? if you knew the thoughts that raced in my head when i last saw you. not the least of which being ripping out your new things throat and bashing his skull in. but i'm like that and you know that, so don't act all surprised.
i would love to go on talking about how much i miss you and how fucking angry i am with you, but that litle green devil tells me, that you couldn't give a flying fuck about how i feel. funny that, i thought you said i never paid attention. huh.
i hope you get the point, and don't blow this out of prepotion. is so, well it was nice well we lasted, if not. i'm free tro talk at anytime.
and i don't know if i love you or not.........