Pirate Furradio among other stuff

[nova_fox]

Well its Saturday evening, Pirate Fur Radio will start soon and I hope everybody enjoys the show. Really. I say that, because I won't enjoy it. The reason is simple: Three years ago Mafundi and I began Pirate Furradio as a small hobby project. Around two or three shows long he and I were fix moderators there. Then I had to undergo some tumor

Comments

[blechfuchs]

I know it's hard to keep calm, especially when someone does a thing that should piss you off, just because you have the right to be pissed off.
But anyway, you should try to keep it down. Yelling back isn't going to help you very much, since it will only tighten the already tense situation and will likely end up in two or more people yelling and swearing at eachother for no reason that couldn't have been discussed in a quiet tone.

I know it is not easy to be that one to keep your countenance, but someone's gotta do it. And if it is only a dialogue - which means it's only you and "him" - and your conversational partner tries to provoke or loses his countenance, that it is your chance and you have to take it.

I mean, what have you got to lose? Either your partner realizes what ludicrous thing he is about to do, or thinks your calm behaviour is just arrogant - but in that case, the verbal fight - in his eyes - would have never had another winner than him. ^^

If you just make the first step and don't fight fire with fire right from the start, refering to the fact that he started it, a loud conversation with nothing said at all and both parties not looking at each other for the rest of the day can easily be prevented, which also is a benefit for everyone else f. ex. on the consite.

Example:
Okay, he un-invited you? Why reacting so harsh right off? Why not try to find out the real incitement by asking 'uncomfortable' questions?
"Too mamy guests?? Come on, I don't think so! So, what's the real reason you don't want me to be there? I won't get mad, just want to know the truth ... I always thought we were friends."

The moment you lose your countenance, you also lose the reins of the conversation. On the other side, if you just keep calm and your partner starts yelling, he's nothing but confessing his own defeat.
Always keep that in mind!

[nova_fox]

Thanks blechfuchs. You see, I am trying to act this way for a while now, but so far all I achieved was to fail. Okay, I am not that short-tempered anymore, as I used to be, but still I have it in me sometimes. Especially the people living in Berlin -or at least a good part of it- easily find the spots to set me off which I do then.

Again thanks for your tips I'll try to follow them and take them into consideration when I find myself again in such a situation.

[blechfuchs]

It's nice to hear you've already made some progress, but nobody changes within one day, so giving you a little time is no problem.

Maybe, if you know these people and can imagine at which weak spot they will likely hit you, you can prepare yourself mentally for it. It will probably still hurt deep inside, but if you don't show it, they will see you are not that vulnerable anymore.

It's really funny how you are able to totally confuse somebody if you just remove the target for his "hit below the belt", when he was absolutely sure he could hurt you there if he was running out of arguments. =^.^=