A potential rocker's derailment
So Thomas bought Ala an electric guitar and amp.
This is a *vast* improvement over his attempt to purchase her a drum set several years ago. (there was much gigglin’ on that topic!)
She’s really excited, and while not tone-deaf she does tend to think she’s playing things she’s not ... and in an effort to support her desire while knowing that if B or I tried to teach her to read music or anything it would be another layer in the tutoring tension around, I was excited to see that Austin School of Music has opened a studio near us.
Before I could even price check classes though, Monday her lackadaisical reading habits caught up to her with a vengeance. She’s been skimming her way through her reading assignments for years ... barely passing enough of the quizzes to pass ... but this past fall she slipped and had no room to slip. We set up some different processes to help get her back on a more proactive track ........ aaaaand she ignored them about 3 days after we talked. So come this Monday I get a phone call from the teacher b/c yet again she hadn’t passed an independent reading quiz. By not passing, I mean actually blatantly obvious she’s not read the book. I’m still not sure why she thinks that someone who reads consistently is going to be fooled that it’s possible to consistently get 10-12% on quizzes if you’ve actually read it even if you *swear* you’ve read the book ... yet when you get grumped at then the next book you get 85-95% on the quiz.
So, now she’s having to bust ass to recover AND there’s discussion of a tutoring center, like Sylvan or Kumon or one of the other ones. Her math has dramatically improved w/ B’s tutoring but we’re hitting a period in her development where she’s extremely defensive and adamantly uninterested in improving frequently. This is creating *a lot* of tension in our interactions w/ her. It’s not worth it - the damage to our relationships is occurring over what amounts to a minimal thing (but as parents we have to make efforts even when rebuked!) but my fear is it has the potential to set up a cycle of discounting what we say and animosity towards us that will complicate her teen yrs even more. I mean, teens find enough animosity for their folks so *creating* more seems somewhat thick-headed to me.
Since her grades and our tutoring are becoming so strained due to her choices, she is aware that I’d like to put her in guitar lessons but that currently I’ve put that on hold since school is more important and she’s not improving so that money may need to go to tutors instead for now.
For the moment, her choices have 180º’d at least in reading - she’s read 2 books in as many days and got an 88% on the one test she’s taken so far.
Maybe I can get her into ASM sooner than I thought. Wonder if they’ll teach her this song. It’s one of my favs! =)
This is a *vast* improvement over his attempt to purchase her a drum set several years ago. (there was much gigglin’ on that topic!)
She’s really excited, and while not tone-deaf she does tend to think she’s playing things she’s not ... and in an effort to support her desire while knowing that if B or I tried to teach her to read music or anything it would be another layer in the tutoring tension around, I was excited to see that Austin School of Music has opened a studio near us.
Before I could even price check classes though, Monday her lackadaisical reading habits caught up to her with a vengeance. She’s been skimming her way through her reading assignments for years ... barely passing enough of the quizzes to pass ... but this past fall she slipped and had no room to slip. We set up some different processes to help get her back on a more proactive track ........ aaaaand she ignored them about 3 days after we talked. So come this Monday I get a phone call from the teacher b/c yet again she hadn’t passed an independent reading quiz. By not passing, I mean actually blatantly obvious she’s not read the book. I’m still not sure why she thinks that someone who reads consistently is going to be fooled that it’s possible to consistently get 10-12% on quizzes if you’ve actually read it even if you *swear* you’ve read the book ... yet when you get grumped at then the next book you get 85-95% on the quiz.
So, now she’s having to bust ass to recover AND there’s discussion of a tutoring center, like Sylvan or Kumon or one of the other ones. Her math has dramatically improved w/ B’s tutoring but we’re hitting a period in her development where she’s extremely defensive and adamantly uninterested in improving frequently. This is creating *a lot* of tension in our interactions w/ her. It’s not worth it - the damage to our relationships is occurring over what amounts to a minimal thing (but as parents we have to make efforts even when rebuked!) but my fear is it has the potential to set up a cycle of discounting what we say and animosity towards us that will complicate her teen yrs even more. I mean, teens find enough animosity for their folks so *creating* more seems somewhat thick-headed to me.
Since her grades and our tutoring are becoming so strained due to her choices, she is aware that I’d like to put her in guitar lessons but that currently I’ve put that on hold since school is more important and she’s not improving so that money may need to go to tutors instead for now.
For the moment, her choices have 180º’d at least in reading - she’s read 2 books in as many days and got an 88% on the one test she’s taken so far.
Maybe I can get her into ASM sooner than I thought. Wonder if they’ll teach her this song. It’s one of my favs! =)
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