Title: Memories Splintered in the Night.
Fandom: Lost
Characters/Pairings: Juliet/Sawyer
Rating: PG
Words: 2022
Summary: James, and the life he made, are just whispers on the wind. A slightly different approach to a post-finale fic :D
Author's Note: Hope you enjoy ♥ I would really appreciate any feedback on this, thank you!
He awoke from a dream slightly breathless and shaken. It was a dream of smoke, twisted metal and soft blonde hair. There was a woman in his dream, she had made him feel… something, something he had never felt before. But she wasn’t real and awake Sawyer didn’t care. He fidgeted in his seat.
He looks around; it feels like something is on the verge of happening. He doesn’t know what, just a feeling in the pit of his stomach telling him something is about to go down. But nothing does. The plane just glides smoothly on and lands on time at LAX. He looks around at the other passengers; no one else looks disappointed, they just continue on, through passport control and into the sterilized space of the airport. Some of them are returning home while others are starting anew, in sunny LA. Sawyer isn’t sure what he’s doing; this ain’t home and this ain’t new. He is just glad to be out of that cramped seat, he never did like flying, but some part of him feels like life just passed him by, he shakes his head. Maybe he missed an opportunity for change. For greatness. At the very least he could have found something different from the white tile and gray carpet floor of the airport up in the sky.
~~~
Juliet isn’t listening to what they are saying; she knows she should be a better host than this. More interested, she does like Carrie, it is one of her favourites, more enthusiastic, at least murmur agreement with the discussion. But the muffins are burned so expectations are already low and she just can’t bring herself to care. She needs to get out of here, out of this house that is masquerading as her own, out of this life she doesn’t want to live and away from these people she has lived with and away from this island that has held her for too long.
She excuses herself quietly, urging them to continue on without her. But they stop, all eyes on her as she heads to the door. She stands on the grass in the centre of the community that she belongs to, or doesn’t belong to really. She looks to the sky. It’s just blue, like it was yesterday and it will be tomorrow. Blue with a scattering of white clouds. She feels disappointed. What did she expect? She thought that this was the moment, one of those moments, a moment in her own history, where nothing can ever be the same. She wanted that, she felt like something was supposed to happen, nothingness wasn’t how it was supposed to go. But the seconds just tick on by, each one just like the last.
~~~
Sometimes he dreamed of the jungle. The richest green he ever did see, tangles and trees everywhere, the feeling of panic and a throbbing in his head. Then he dreams of a yellow house in a village of yellow houses, a blue van in a garage and a pretty lady, the same woman with soft blonde hair, who makes it all feel like home. She makes him feel content until, in his waking moments, it all makes him disappointed. He sometimes wakes up next to a mark who doesn’t have soft blonde hair or a voice that soothes him. He doesn’t understand what’s happened to him. You ain’t never wanted that domesticity crap before, you’re a free man, he tells himself. It ain’t even real. The woman he covets is imaginary and the house is just lines in his mind. James, and the life he made, are just whispers on the wind.
It’s time to leave LA he decides. Nothing here for him, well, that’s not entirely true. There are still plenty of rich women desperate to leave their husbands, made needy with neglect. But that isn’t what he wants anymore. This town just don’t have anything left that he needs.
~~~
She has dreams as well, dreams of red wine shared and big yellow daisies given. In her dreams there is a man who loves her, he has dimples and a southern drawl. She always wakes up with a smile on her face. When she opens her eyes she takes in her surroundings, just a moment to adjust to the metallic walls, panic first then she smiles again as she remembers. She is going home, home to see her sister and her three-year old nephew. She couldn’t be happier.
There is movement outside the metal door of the sub and she struggles a little against the bonds that hold her, mode of transport hasn’t changed then, she thought wryly. The door opens and in walks the man who was her captor.
Ben smiles, “good to see you awake Juliet,” he says. “We are almost at Ann Arbor.” She nods, “from there you will get on a plane back to Miami and back to your sister.” Ben almost sneers the last part, he is a sore loser and she was the prize he was supposed to win. But she doesn’t care, she is free of all of this, free of this man and of that island.
Ben starts to leave but turns as he reaches the door. “Unfortunate circumstances have lead us to this situation; me to the doctors table and you to your home. But the island hasn’t finished with you yet Juliet. I will see you again.” He smiled as if he knew a secret about her that had not been shared.
~~~
He didn’t have a plan when he arrived in Miami. He just followed the sounds of the day moving forward, it was fine he told himself but really he was lost. He got a job in a bar. Unfortunately for the customers he ain’t a chatty Cathy and he don’t care about their problems but for some reason the landlord keeps him on. The old guy says it’s the way he holds a glass of scotch, like a man who appreciates the little things.
Working a bar is an evening gig and in the light of day he just wanders Miami. He wouldn’t say he was looking for something but he was. Something about his life just didn’t seem…right. He felt split and overlapped, it was those damn dreams they plagued him. Teasing him with the impossible.
This day was one of those rarer days in Miami, a day where the rain drizzles on your face and the wind blows a chill. He pulled his jacket up tighter to his neck and headed for the bus stop, it was near four o’clock now, wouldn’t matter if he arrived a little earlier to the bar. He rounded the corner to the shelter and stopped. His heart rate quickened.
That is when he saw her.
~~~
It was more difficult to come back than she thought it would be. Of course there were open arms and smiles (and tears). Julian took to her almost immediately and Rachel clung to her baby sister as if she was never going to let her go. After the joy had subsided real life had to begin again.
She didn’t know if she wanted to go back to work, the women she had lost haunted her mind. It might take a while to get back into the swing, she told herself. That’s all. But fear niggled at her heart. There was something else too, something about her that was off. While Julian was at Nursery and Rachel was working she would wander Miami alone. Maybe looking for what was absent, she didn’t know.
Today, unfortunately, the weather had other ideas. When the rain became too much she headed for the bus shelter. She reached the shelter and took a seat, pulling her hood off and taking out her book. She heard someone coming and looked up.
That’s when she saw him.
~~~
He moved to stand in front of her under the shelter. This was it, this was her. Blonde hair, blue eyes and skin so pale. She couldn’t be real. He wanted to deny her existence; she was his dream that was all. But there she was reading a book in the rain. And there he was just looking at her.
He felt a wave of calm. It was a moment of clarity and had he been a man of faith he may of said he just became witness to God’s plan. But he wasn’t a man of faith and all he could really feel was that this was it. Like he knew it all, their story, his life. How it was supposed to be.
He chuckled a little at the absurdity and rubbed his palm across his face. “I think I have been looking for you,” he said to her.
~~~
She nodded after he spoke to her and stared at him for a moment more. I think I have been looking for you had the markers of a cheesy chat up line but this was him, the man of her dreams. What a cliché, what an impossibility. How could she have known his face? Could she have conjured him out of desperation to find a place in to her own life?
She reached out her hand to touch him. He was real and solid and wet. She laughed, a light, happy sound as the pieces tumbled into place. She never believed in fate, she always believed she chose her own path. But this moment felt like more than just the build up of unrelated, random events. To her it felt a little like a miracle.
“I think I’ve been waiting for you,” she replied talking his hand.
~~~
Three years passed. Three years since their unusual meeting. Three years of almost uneventful happiness. Three years of kisses and bickering and love. Their memories were layered, the duel lives they’d lead, they had come to accept that, they talked about it sometimes, about the place that filled their dreams but neither wanted to push the confusing images into the bright light of day. Content to be who they were here, not who they were in a far away place.
Juliet took a research position at the university while James worked some security jobs and started to write his debut novel. She always wanted him to tell her about it.
“Well, on the surface,” he’d tell her, breathing into her hair, “it’s an adventure story with wild beasts and savage natives,” she’d giggle, “but underneath it’s about taking everything away from a man and then what’s left of him when he has nothing.”
She would always smile at his seriousness, “what is left?” She’d ask, warm lips teasing his ear, fingertips under his shirt. He’d respond with a growl and push her back on to the bed.
They decided to take a holiday; she had seen a documentary on Chamorro culture and traditions so she suggested Guam as their destination. “It might help with your book,” she said, “blue seas, sandy beaches, nothing but each other.” She smirked at him and he was powerless to resist.
As they boarded their flight and something seemed familiar, neither could shake it. The faces around them were shrouded in hazy memories. When the safety belt sign clicked off, usually a sign of blue skies and a smooth journey, Juliet suddenly felt hollowed out. Her stomach dropped and she was gripped by fear, she looked to James and saw her feelings reflected in his eyes.
When the plane started to experience turbulence Juliet wasn’t surprised but she felt the cold dread of knowledge. Ben’s words were creeping their way into her mind. I will see you again. Devouring her. She gripped James hand, “I love you James.”
“I love you too Juliet.”
What happened in the following moments felt like a blur, the sounds of metal twisting apart, screams of pain and then nothing.
The next thing she felt was a cool, hard sensation beneath her body and she opened her eyes. All she could see was the green canopies of the jungle she had tried so hard to escape.
finish.
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