pensacola
just got back a few hours ago....11 hour drive. let's see..
dad called thursday morning saying that grandma polly had finally passed and they (he, my mom and sis) were leaving in a few hours if i wanted to go with them. needing a vacation, and also wanting to pay my respects to grandma and grandpa, i said yes. i called my boss and e-mailed my professors and then packed my bags and headed over to my parents'. i decided to drive and dad rode with me, mom and leah following behind us. the first few hours of the drive were really good...dad and i talked a lot about my current dilemmas of roommates, mental health, school, and my future. i even told him about my overwhelming desire to drop everything and travel for a few years before coming back to pursue a career in something. surprisingly he was supportive. he heavily encouraged my interest in moving to a warmer climate and pursuing a degree in photography. and he heavily, heavily encouraged my interest in this national geographic photography workshop i read about online...even offered to help pay for it. that was very refreshing...because i've been leaning towards these decisions (moving, taking time off, changing majors again) in my own mind but to have support from my dad made things better. so all i have to do now is make it through the duration of this lease (nov. 12) and i can move forward with my life.
11 hour drive down there...arrived at the hotel late and went straight to bed. next morning everyone went to grandpa's early w/o me and so arrived last, which made me feel shady. it was good to see grandpa again...though he wasn't in the best of spirits during our stay. friday was spent visiting (aunts and cousins were down there as well) with family...which is always fun. i'm learning to appreciate my family more and more...they're really fun people and they're always very supportive of each other. and we always laugh. that's about the only thing we do when we're together is laugh. florida weather was sunny and in the 60s the entire time..which was a much-needed change from this grey and dreary cold we've been having at home in indiana.
the funeral services were saturday. family viewing was from 12-1..friends from 1-2...and a service from 2-3. she is being cremated so there was no actual funeral, just a memorial given by family and a pastor. though grandma polly was not a blood relative, i still loved her as though she was. she was a truly great person...always positive...always busy. she was probably the most hospitable person i've known, always trying to make everyone happy and comfortable. she was a fun-loving person and a joy to be around. it was a really nice service and it was strangely calming to be in the presence of a religious atmosphere again..
sunday was more quality time spent with dad driving around pensacola and the gulf. we walked around the pier and looked at boats, walked along a nature path in the gulf stream natl. forset (or something like that) and then finally met up with mom, leah, aunt v. and jordan at an irish pub called mcguire's. had some damn fine lamb stew and then headed back to grandpa's for a final night of visiting.
left this morning and drove back 11 more hours with dad...just listening to music this time. this was a much-needed vacation...though it started on bad terms it really gave me a chance to clear my head and get away from things for a bit. speaking of cleared head, it's been awhile since i smoked pot and i must say i'm liking it. i'm much more mentally stable, and more in charge of my thoughts. i'm sure the paxil has something to do with that but also my memory is better and i'm more motivated/productive. i still get cravings but i've been able to hold out so far. i might partake on occassion (spring break for example) but then again i might now, i haven't decided yet.
i had some weird dreams while i was down there. in one i artificially inseminated **** with a turkey baster and then used our (my and the roomate's) remote control to speed up time and watch her pregnancy progress and a housing addition being built in time lapsed photography. the other dream took place during the apocalypse (which was run by 3 egyptian people). my dad and i hijacked a car full of asian women and drove to my grandmother's abadoned house where i proceeded to have sex with the youngest asian woman before being interrupted by the egyptians. then i went to pv baptist church for a bit before going to grandma and grandpa irani's house where they gave me another version of my remote control which contained a loudspeaker and also shot high-powered explosive rounds. not sure where those dreams came from but they were certainly interesting...
and now it's back to the grind. school tomorrow and work on wednesday. *sigh*