New Beginnings...
Here I sit at 1:00 A.M. trying to fall asleep in a brand new apartment. Most of my stuff is still at my old place and I have decided to pay my rent to my old landlords a few weeks late because a) I need the money right now b) don't really care if they don't like it, by the end of the week I should be moved.
This new place holds so many more opportunities but I so miss my green lawn and the sound of children laughing across the street at the playground. I miss waking up to my alarm clock, and not to police sirens.
I should be thankful for all the pluses though. I pay no utilites, cable, or internet here. I also pay $520.00 less per month and my roommate is 100% completely OK with the fact that I am transgendered, even going so far as moving out of the private back room so that I would have a bigger closet and a full length wall mirror. I can start working on so many more things now, like my voice and I don't have to worry about my old landlords looming over me.
Yet, it's hard to look around my room and see my home. It's dirty, and the paint is chipping and it's hot...very hot... I've already worked miracles with the bathroom, stripping the fixtures and repainting them to accent the walls. Also, plastering the cracks and peels in the wall and repainting them. Soaking the floor in whatever I could find that was the most caustic substance...it needed it...
This will be home, I know it...I can feel it. This is where, as my roommmate says, 'New beginnings start'. Six days to my first class in nursing, a brand new apartment to start my life over again, caring neighbors and roommates who won't discriminate against me just because I wasn't born 'right'...
It will be home...
This new place holds so many more opportunities but I so miss my green lawn and the sound of children laughing across the street at the playground. I miss waking up to my alarm clock, and not to police sirens.
I should be thankful for all the pluses though. I pay no utilites, cable, or internet here. I also pay $520.00 less per month and my roommate is 100% completely OK with the fact that I am transgendered, even going so far as moving out of the private back room so that I would have a bigger closet and a full length wall mirror. I can start working on so many more things now, like my voice and I don't have to worry about my old landlords looming over me.
Yet, it's hard to look around my room and see my home. It's dirty, and the paint is chipping and it's hot...very hot... I've already worked miracles with the bathroom, stripping the fixtures and repainting them to accent the walls. Also, plastering the cracks and peels in the wall and repainting them. Soaking the floor in whatever I could find that was the most caustic substance...it needed it...
This will be home, I know it...I can feel it. This is where, as my roommmate says, 'New beginnings start'. Six days to my first class in nursing, a brand new apartment to start my life over again, caring neighbors and roommates who won't discriminate against me just because I wasn't born 'right'...
It will be home...