blah....
Okay, so who eats too much dessert the day AFTER thanksgiving? This girl right here....!
Hmmm, why haven't I updated in a while? Perhaps its because I'm busy a lot. No, no, thats not it. Perhaps its cause I havent had much to complain about - not much time at the dorm front desks - spend my free computer moments facebooking... Yeah, I'd say a combination of those. So whats to complain about now? Relationships of course. But this time instead of complaining about him, Id rather complain about me. Yeah, thats right, me! So last night we danced to a jazz song, alone in an appartment whose window (which was huge, open and right next to us) shown nothing but the lighted Philadelphia skyline. Of course, I was led into the bedroom, and told how hot I was. But for some unknown reason, I chose to bitch about the poster of a skinny blonde girl with big boobs that hangs above his bed for me to "stare at every night before bed" making me feel bad about my own body. I told him that he absolutely had to take it down at that very moment. Not a good move on my part - you cant make commands to a significant other after parading around always saying that you as a female will not tolerate being told what to do. Not that he tries, I just always made it a point that he know Im a grown ass man! (In the words of Harry Max, who I miss so much and who made me happy by dressing like a ghetto "noodle" at the homecoming game despite his hard work in becoming a lawyer.) So yah, anyway. That spawned a huge fight that, as always, ended up with a reminder about the one thing I've done aweful in our relationship. It was something that Ive paid for over and over again and it was something he promised to not bring up again. But it was ultimately fitting to bring up thanks to bikinis. Go figure.
Why do people who love each other so much chose to use the harshest words possible? Why do we bring up the deep dark things that only we know about just to hurt the other as much as possible? I refered to something his parents did as an asshole move - he reminded me that my father was a crack head. I said something about his speach problem - he called all fraternity guys fa**ots and losers... Why though, what is the purpose? Especially after having a pretty great few weeks together - times have been pretty good... I bring up his slut ex girl who gave him head in a movie theather while letting her best friend take turns and he brought up how I bought a fish with another guy just weeks after giving the turtle john gave me up for adoption. I say that poster is a reminder that I dont have a good enough body - he says the fish reminds him that I want to be with that other guy. Which by the way is completely untrue. Perhaps after a summer of not being paid any attention to, it was nice to meet a guy who did pay attention to me. A guy who went out of his way to hang out. A guy who with one word once made my heart feel like it was melting. "Hey....smile." Strong...
But lets see, since Mr. Mine has been paying a lot of extra attention to me, I have barely spoke to the friend that I was so smitten over just 6 or 7 short weeks ago. Of course he brought the kid up though, he always does.
Oh look... the girl whose itunes im connected to has the song "Scarlet Begonias." How fitting....
Yaknow, i HAVE recieved a mix tape from someone before - a mix cd actually - it was Jake and it was nice. Made me smile because it was effort. Just a tiny drop of effort to make me happy. In fact, I think Ill listen to that CD when I get off this desk in 2 hours and 12 minutes.
"I knew right away she was not like other girls like other girls....?" Then why if he knew I wasnt like other girls, does he insist on making a big deal when I act crazy and say/do stupid crazy things like flip out about a poster?? Im obviously crazy, wasnt i reminded of that last night?
Apparently there IS something wrong with the look thats in her eye. Learnind the hard way just to let it pass by? "Whats it gonna be boy, yes or no?!... Do you love me, will you love me forever? Do you need me? Will you never leave me? Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?" That last part, thats the part I need closure on. Saying you love me isnt always enough. A crazy bit** like me needs some effort. Make the effort to come home with me tomorrow to see my family. Make some effort to write me a poem or sing me a song or read me a story or draw me a picture. Walk me a walk or dance with me a dance. Its not that hard - I'm not that complicated. "THings fall apart - intensive shatter. She like that ish dont matter when I get home get at her through letter, phone, whatever. Let's link, lets get together..." So yeah, effort. Get an A in that part of your report card and the rest wont matter.
Le Sigh....
About THanksgiving. Wednesday we got off work early and I helped my BIg Sis bake pumpkin iced and spiced cookies. Quite the recipe I must say - next time raisins in them for sure.
THen to crossings to get the dog - train ride home - hell night with the little monster. Missed my bus in the morning on the way to the game - asked my brother for a ride in his car that ended up stalling at the light at the intersection of COTTMAN AND BUSTELTON. Yess, stuck THERE! THen it rained, then the umbrella was too big for me to hold. THen I got to see my peops! Matt A, Lindsay, Ryne, all the other peopls standing the linds, lol... Kevin, Harry, My King Antonio, Harold, Darryl, Shawn, Mike and his son Jaden, Trish from 160, Candice, drill team gals, the kid who called me "softball girl" the "juniors" who always tried getting with me - joe! (Who I think all think im engaged to Dave Zoltowski, hahaha.) Umm, who else was there? Joe T that lovable teddy bear! Josh, Casey, Jocelyn, Lorena, and Miguel from 164 standing with this years homecoming queen. (She was little and white and kinda urban too, yay.) Tommy from shoprite, lil Andy Lihotz, Pat Creighton that fat f*ck! Pat Brady, no Jay ;( The pricipal from my first year, drill team mommie, No Uncle aka Mr. Mott! He retired... Oooh, AEPi temple Darrin, his brother incidentally - we chatted about his scooter that I found for sale on Craigslist. Funny. Random. Trish liked the idea of me in Construction.... Harry Max was a lil insulted by my "scary lawyer" remark I think. But he's a huge dude and was quite ghetto-clad, what was I supposed to say? Im so glad I stood with him for a hot minute though, it always brings me back to my roots to hear him talk - talkin about Hardy "fallin back." (meaning that Hardy was not coming to the game for those of you not fluent in Streetish.)
Some show or movie used the word Noodle to call someone and I cant think of who. It really caught my attention, hmmmm. Black ass Max said I lost weight - I said yeah Im no longer a meatball. I was lil in HS but a meatball after 6 months at college. Ish happens.
Sometimes I wish I could go back. Go back to senior year, go back to freshman year. I was the smart one but I was also the ghetto princess, living in more of the hood than most of my black friends in Magnet. Who by the way reside at places like Penn State, Tuskegee and so on. Ari was sick, he didnt make it. Cicalese didnt come either but now that I think about it, I dont think she was a thanksgiving game kinda girl in HS let alone 3 graduating classes later. Eeew, I feel old now. I actually saw a girl with a 166 on her cheek. 166!!! I was 161 and the seniors when I was a fresh were 158. 166 just sounds weird.
At least the pretzel braids were still only a dollar at the game. That hasnt changed.
So how long can I possible write for? Well that depends. I love how I write with the intention that no one reads this but it just may happen. *If someone read this far, please please please call me right now* 215 605 7058. Do it!!!! lol
Wow, im a little delerious I guess. Listening to Eminem be mad. Ahh, that reminds of me HS too. Freshman year, I like him a lot, actually waited for the release of the CD that contained My Name Is. Which means I liked him BEFORE guilty conscience hit the air waves and you best belive two things - one: I was the only kid getting that cd on 2-23-1999 at that CD shop after school and two: I got teased about it. Just 14 months later in April of 2000, massive amounts of white kids from NE were in line to get his next album the day it came out. Where were you assholes last february? SHeep!!! "You must just not know...every time I think of you I puke." Haha, nice song Em.
Whats left to chat about. JUDSON!! Now thats a kid I miss from HS. Wow! He was always running from the FBI - or running from butterflies. He was just running... I did see him stand still once. He was giving a power point presentation to teach kids slang. "Yo can be used in a sentance more than once. Yo, you know what Im sayin yo?" I did mine on stop lights, green yellow and red. What a class, what class, what a group of friends. I wish I could go back. I was on top of the world in Highschool. Well, freshman and sophomore years were one thing. Junior year was almost like I lived on another planet. From the very first day of school when I yelled "Hey, its the band" and he yelled back "Hey, youre hot!" Until the very last day when I punched that same guy in the face for leaving school with Mary Jo.... Luckly Bridget bought me to see the other man in my life before I cried. Mr. Olsen... ahh what would have been had I been a few years older and met him in a supermarket instead of his American History class. Gee Wiz...
Frehsman year was all so new. I was the girl from the ghetto who got on the bus going the wrong way and printed her homework out on loose leaf with colored ink (in order to preserve black ink.) The girl who wore over sized Old Navy T shirts and dated a boy who was back at my gradeschool one year behind me. Greg, his name was Greg. We broke up while I was a freshman, got back together, broke up again. He treated me like royalty really. Called me Princess and told me he loved me. We had sex. Of course it was while he had another girlfriend. BUt she deservd if. Afterall, Juanita WAS the first person I ever told I had a crush on this kid before we got together. In church nonetheless....
We got back together some time too. That year was the year I was best buds with Heather. She dated this older guy named Bret who went to another school. Some time my Soph year - while in a break with Greg - I met this Bret kid at the Roosevelt Mall. I helped him pick out jeans and he let me hold his hat. I did my hat flirt move ***So killer, works every time*** and he was struck down at that moment. Ended up going to his prom and kinda dating a little. But my mind was never focused, I still missed my Geggy. Esp when Bret listened to Backstreet Boys in his car and played that one song "back to your heart." Such a sad song... me and Greg bot back together. He moved to Port Richmond but it was cool. August before Junior year we brok up for the last time. (but not on bad terms, he actually came to moms house during her tattoo party to say hi.) Thats when Deric happened even though I didnt mean it to. Best time of my life, really it was. Now that I look back, we were only together for like 6 or 7 months but hadnt I made that stupid little cry for attention that one dreary afternoond, we might be married with a dog by now... I never meant to break your heart but that blonde jumped on your back. Oooh that sex for $20!! You deserved that hot moment in the hallway... It went something liket his - I found out he had sex the weekend we broke up so I left disturbing notes in his locker. My friend came into class and told me Deric looked really upset just now, reading papers from his locker. I went out into the hall and before he even looked up, I poured out the entire contents of a bottle of water on his head while saying "youre getting a little hot, you need to cool down." He looked up almost in slow motion with water pouring down his face so I kissed him. I sharp short kiss and walked away coldly. COuldnt have been better had it been an Aaron Spelling drama... Thank goodness i was hot for teacher too cause that lil crush got me back on track. We were supposed to get back together - we were going to run away together on the alst day of school so our friends didnt know where we were. The ball was in my court but I wanted HIM to make the move. I waited too long and lost my turn. Lost him. Le Sigh.... It was a hard summer, pretty aweful actually when I got an IM from a girl who turned out to be Derics girlfriend's cousin telling me I was crazy. So what if I beat him up when he got in my way trying to run after his girl and beat her ass? Dont f*ck with a girl on a mission to rearrange another girls face. I punched him in the face and slammed his head into a locker while making a promise to kill him. Drama indeed.
That summer I thought about Eddie O a lot. September rolled around. I was a senior and he wasnt a teacher there anymore. Went to California. Kevin and I actually got to hang out. Although we were best friends since 9th grade, I had always had boyfriends so the two of us never hung out alone. Once that happened, a few sparks flew. Haha, definately not. We dated for like 2 weeks before realizing that we were meant to be friends. I left Senior year open. No guys - all friends. I ended up getting voted HomeComing queen. The one little group of "cool" kids talked to me. Even Mr.Mike "too cool for you" Ivers. Hmmm.
Ski trip rolled around. Deric was allowed to come this year. With his girlfriend of course. But somehow I ended up rooming with his two male best friends for that trip. I'll never forget that ski trip. But ride up meant finding someone to sit with. I dont remember who I was sitting with, I know it was a guy and I know that Liz knew him too. I gave up my seat for her so she didnt have to sit next to Billy Reed who was two years older than her. I sat with him instead. He was a first-year-alum who came back as a "chaperone" just like mom's friend's son Jim Heiser. Sooo, I sat with Billy who I had thought was so hot since freshman year. He was white, had loud-spikey blonde hair, and played b-ball on the team. He was great to watch. He could defend a whole team himself... Not to mention that he had his belly pierced and could dance. So yeah... I was starting to get a little glazy and he went into the bathroom to become one with nature. (no not sitting down, im talkin about treeeees.) I never had done that so he invited me into the bus bathroom to take a "shotgun" whatever that was. I did. It didnt make me react, just made my eyes glassy. I remember it so clear now. Jay Becker made fun of me but for somereason his drunk ass was laying on the floor singing. THere was definately a song he was singing that I didnt know he knew. I think it was the chorus to Cum On Everybody. I remember being shocked cause he was a punk rockers. (Japanese and Jewish. cool huh?!) Yeeeeah, so I followed that Billy Reed kid around the hotel until big titted Brooke lured him in with sex - something I wasnt prepared to give up. Jim ended up being a good friend lookin out for me and warning that Billy was telling people I played with his balls or something like that. Bad move Jim, cause some how I ended up in a stairwell with you and Mike doing cartwheels naked. He left Mike and I alone for a minute - he said we were like Muhammed Ali and Joe Fraiser. It was true though. Then we kissed. I remember. Jim came back and the three of us stumbled up to abother floor that had another huge trip on it. But instead of drunken high schoolers, it was 20 and 30 something black folks. One woman was a stripper. She had pictures, she showed us. Jim pulled out the chapstick and assured us that he would get a kiss from this woman. He did. MIke made sure he did too then we left. We stayed awake until like 7am. I took a 15 minute power nap then went skiing. I mastered the bunny slope. Back to the hotel, hot tub (that buff guy said I had nice toes. ha) then dinner buffet. More alcohol of course then 7am hit again. I was with Jim all night and Katie I. and I made a list of why we loved Jim. He was a "chaperone" so he spent the 6-7am hour confiscating liquor saying cops were coming around. Total lie - he copped it all forhimself. Including MY Bottle which he ended up setting up for me and him to take shots at a romantic little table for 2. He draged me skiing that day. I was mad cause saturday was the ski day and I tried to wake him up and he wouldnt get up. Sunday was the day you had to pay to go. He made me go anyway, paid for me and almost made me die. I am A BEGINNER! I had no sleep, lots and lots to drink and he conned me into getting onto a black diamond. I couldnt say no to him. Well I fell onthe first turn into a ditch and crashed into a fence that seperated me from clouds and the sight of a speck on the gound that was actually the ski lodge. hmmm. He popped his skis off and jumped down. He saved me. Back to the hotel was the shots for two moment - that marked like 30 something hours him and I spend no more than 10 feet away from eachother. I had about 7 shots before boarding the bus (ahhh high school!) and he has near 10. We got on the bus and I remember him pulling strings to get me on the same bus with his which hadnt been the one I came on. THis chick Jill who was clearly swining from his pubes was kinda pissed. I remember. We sat together, cuddled and passed out. Talking later we realized that we kissed. It was the only think ive ever done drunk and didnt remember. Oh how I wished I remembered. He had a girlfriend. We kept talking - online a lot. I grew quite fond, too much so perhaps. He did too.
Senior year ended and I had nothing but dreams of guys I couldnt have like him and my old teacher. It was better that way - I wanted to be single so I could come to drexel as a real city b*tch rockin all the suburb guys. Nothing works out that way.
I met a guy the summer before college. He delivered Pepsi to shoprite as the ass crack of dawn. I noticed because by that time I was a big wig decorator working the early shift. He was cute - really cute. Brown hair, blue eyes and the brightest biggest smile Ive ever seen in real life, all atop a body that was 210 pounds of pure chisled muscle. He was a college football player. Football, my love.
Good work ethic, good family (my two biggest turn ons) and he was honest to god nice. Nice! And even better, he wanted to get to know me. For a reason that I still can not understand, he liked me... We went out on a date. He pulled up in a pickup trick. Funniest thing ever. We had a really nice time together. He went away from school in August like most colleges do - 3 1/2 hours away at Lycoming. He came to Philly to surprise me because I was having a bad dayl. He brought me my favorate flowers - fuji mums.
I moved to Drexel and on a rainy Tuesday night he drove 3 1/2 miles again to bring me flowers and to tell me he had fallen in love with me. I broke his heart by saying good bye. I was scared. I was also confused cause I wanted to be unattatched in college. Boo to me becuse it was a long lonely winter until a certain someone finally had the nerve to get his friend to talk to me for him. That stoner kid with the chin piercings thought I was cute. We hit it off nicely....
My life in just 1 1/2 hours.... Hahahaha, Im nuts.
Hmmm, why haven't I updated in a while? Perhaps its because I'm busy a lot. No, no, thats not it. Perhaps its cause I havent had much to complain about - not much time at the dorm front desks - spend my free computer moments facebooking... Yeah, I'd say a combination of those. So whats to complain about now? Relationships of course. But this time instead of complaining about him, Id rather complain about me. Yeah, thats right, me! So last night we danced to a jazz song, alone in an appartment whose window (which was huge, open and right next to us) shown nothing but the lighted Philadelphia skyline. Of course, I was led into the bedroom, and told how hot I was. But for some unknown reason, I chose to bitch about the poster of a skinny blonde girl with big boobs that hangs above his bed for me to "stare at every night before bed" making me feel bad about my own body. I told him that he absolutely had to take it down at that very moment. Not a good move on my part - you cant make commands to a significant other after parading around always saying that you as a female will not tolerate being told what to do. Not that he tries, I just always made it a point that he know Im a grown ass man! (In the words of Harry Max, who I miss so much and who made me happy by dressing like a ghetto "noodle" at the homecoming game despite his hard work in becoming a lawyer.) So yah, anyway. That spawned a huge fight that, as always, ended up with a reminder about the one thing I've done aweful in our relationship. It was something that Ive paid for over and over again and it was something he promised to not bring up again. But it was ultimately fitting to bring up thanks to bikinis. Go figure.
Why do people who love each other so much chose to use the harshest words possible? Why do we bring up the deep dark things that only we know about just to hurt the other as much as possible? I refered to something his parents did as an asshole move - he reminded me that my father was a crack head. I said something about his speach problem - he called all fraternity guys fa**ots and losers... Why though, what is the purpose? Especially after having a pretty great few weeks together - times have been pretty good... I bring up his slut ex girl who gave him head in a movie theather while letting her best friend take turns and he brought up how I bought a fish with another guy just weeks after giving the turtle john gave me up for adoption. I say that poster is a reminder that I dont have a good enough body - he says the fish reminds him that I want to be with that other guy. Which by the way is completely untrue. Perhaps after a summer of not being paid any attention to, it was nice to meet a guy who did pay attention to me. A guy who went out of his way to hang out. A guy who with one word once made my heart feel like it was melting. "Hey....smile." Strong...
But lets see, since Mr. Mine has been paying a lot of extra attention to me, I have barely spoke to the friend that I was so smitten over just 6 or 7 short weeks ago. Of course he brought the kid up though, he always does.
Oh look... the girl whose itunes im connected to has the song "Scarlet Begonias." How fitting....
Yaknow, i HAVE recieved a mix tape from someone before - a mix cd actually - it was Jake and it was nice. Made me smile because it was effort. Just a tiny drop of effort to make me happy. In fact, I think Ill listen to that CD when I get off this desk in 2 hours and 12 minutes.
"I knew right away she was not like other girls like other girls....?" Then why if he knew I wasnt like other girls, does he insist on making a big deal when I act crazy and say/do stupid crazy things like flip out about a poster?? Im obviously crazy, wasnt i reminded of that last night?
Apparently there IS something wrong with the look thats in her eye. Learnind the hard way just to let it pass by? "Whats it gonna be boy, yes or no?!... Do you love me, will you love me forever? Do you need me? Will you never leave me? Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?" That last part, thats the part I need closure on. Saying you love me isnt always enough. A crazy bit** like me needs some effort. Make the effort to come home with me tomorrow to see my family. Make some effort to write me a poem or sing me a song or read me a story or draw me a picture. Walk me a walk or dance with me a dance. Its not that hard - I'm not that complicated. "THings fall apart - intensive shatter. She like that ish dont matter when I get home get at her through letter, phone, whatever. Let's link, lets get together..." So yeah, effort. Get an A in that part of your report card and the rest wont matter.
Le Sigh....
About THanksgiving. Wednesday we got off work early and I helped my BIg Sis bake pumpkin iced and spiced cookies. Quite the recipe I must say - next time raisins in them for sure.
THen to crossings to get the dog - train ride home - hell night with the little monster. Missed my bus in the morning on the way to the game - asked my brother for a ride in his car that ended up stalling at the light at the intersection of COTTMAN AND BUSTELTON. Yess, stuck THERE! THen it rained, then the umbrella was too big for me to hold. THen I got to see my peops! Matt A, Lindsay, Ryne, all the other peopls standing the linds, lol... Kevin, Harry, My King Antonio, Harold, Darryl, Shawn, Mike and his son Jaden, Trish from 160, Candice, drill team gals, the kid who called me "softball girl" the "juniors" who always tried getting with me - joe! (Who I think all think im engaged to Dave Zoltowski, hahaha.) Umm, who else was there? Joe T that lovable teddy bear! Josh, Casey, Jocelyn, Lorena, and Miguel from 164 standing with this years homecoming queen. (She was little and white and kinda urban too, yay.) Tommy from shoprite, lil Andy Lihotz, Pat Creighton that fat f*ck! Pat Brady, no Jay ;( The pricipal from my first year, drill team mommie, No Uncle aka Mr. Mott! He retired... Oooh, AEPi temple Darrin, his brother incidentally - we chatted about his scooter that I found for sale on Craigslist. Funny. Random. Trish liked the idea of me in Construction.... Harry Max was a lil insulted by my "scary lawyer" remark I think. But he's a huge dude and was quite ghetto-clad, what was I supposed to say? Im so glad I stood with him for a hot minute though, it always brings me back to my roots to hear him talk - talkin about Hardy "fallin back." (meaning that Hardy was not coming to the game for those of you not fluent in Streetish.)
Some show or movie used the word Noodle to call someone and I cant think of who. It really caught my attention, hmmmm. Black ass Max said I lost weight - I said yeah Im no longer a meatball. I was lil in HS but a meatball after 6 months at college. Ish happens.
Sometimes I wish I could go back. Go back to senior year, go back to freshman year. I was the smart one but I was also the ghetto princess, living in more of the hood than most of my black friends in Magnet. Who by the way reside at places like Penn State, Tuskegee and so on. Ari was sick, he didnt make it. Cicalese didnt come either but now that I think about it, I dont think she was a thanksgiving game kinda girl in HS let alone 3 graduating classes later. Eeew, I feel old now. I actually saw a girl with a 166 on her cheek. 166!!! I was 161 and the seniors when I was a fresh were 158. 166 just sounds weird.
At least the pretzel braids were still only a dollar at the game. That hasnt changed.
So how long can I possible write for? Well that depends. I love how I write with the intention that no one reads this but it just may happen. *If someone read this far, please please please call me right now* 215 605 7058. Do it!!!! lol
Wow, im a little delerious I guess. Listening to Eminem be mad. Ahh, that reminds of me HS too. Freshman year, I like him a lot, actually waited for the release of the CD that contained My Name Is. Which means I liked him BEFORE guilty conscience hit the air waves and you best belive two things - one: I was the only kid getting that cd on 2-23-1999 at that CD shop after school and two: I got teased about it. Just 14 months later in April of 2000, massive amounts of white kids from NE were in line to get his next album the day it came out. Where were you assholes last february? SHeep!!! "You must just not know...every time I think of you I puke." Haha, nice song Em.
Whats left to chat about. JUDSON!! Now thats a kid I miss from HS. Wow! He was always running from the FBI - or running from butterflies. He was just running... I did see him stand still once. He was giving a power point presentation to teach kids slang. "Yo can be used in a sentance more than once. Yo, you know what Im sayin yo?" I did mine on stop lights, green yellow and red. What a class, what class, what a group of friends. I wish I could go back. I was on top of the world in Highschool. Well, freshman and sophomore years were one thing. Junior year was almost like I lived on another planet. From the very first day of school when I yelled "Hey, its the band" and he yelled back "Hey, youre hot!" Until the very last day when I punched that same guy in the face for leaving school with Mary Jo.... Luckly Bridget bought me to see the other man in my life before I cried. Mr. Olsen... ahh what would have been had I been a few years older and met him in a supermarket instead of his American History class. Gee Wiz...
Frehsman year was all so new. I was the girl from the ghetto who got on the bus going the wrong way and printed her homework out on loose leaf with colored ink (in order to preserve black ink.) The girl who wore over sized Old Navy T shirts and dated a boy who was back at my gradeschool one year behind me. Greg, his name was Greg. We broke up while I was a freshman, got back together, broke up again. He treated me like royalty really. Called me Princess and told me he loved me. We had sex. Of course it was while he had another girlfriend. BUt she deservd if. Afterall, Juanita WAS the first person I ever told I had a crush on this kid before we got together. In church nonetheless....
We got back together some time too. That year was the year I was best buds with Heather. She dated this older guy named Bret who went to another school. Some time my Soph year - while in a break with Greg - I met this Bret kid at the Roosevelt Mall. I helped him pick out jeans and he let me hold his hat. I did my hat flirt move ***So killer, works every time*** and he was struck down at that moment. Ended up going to his prom and kinda dating a little. But my mind was never focused, I still missed my Geggy. Esp when Bret listened to Backstreet Boys in his car and played that one song "back to your heart." Such a sad song... me and Greg bot back together. He moved to Port Richmond but it was cool. August before Junior year we brok up for the last time. (but not on bad terms, he actually came to moms house during her tattoo party to say hi.) Thats when Deric happened even though I didnt mean it to. Best time of my life, really it was. Now that I look back, we were only together for like 6 or 7 months but hadnt I made that stupid little cry for attention that one dreary afternoond, we might be married with a dog by now... I never meant to break your heart but that blonde jumped on your back. Oooh that sex for $20!! You deserved that hot moment in the hallway... It went something liket his - I found out he had sex the weekend we broke up so I left disturbing notes in his locker. My friend came into class and told me Deric looked really upset just now, reading papers from his locker. I went out into the hall and before he even looked up, I poured out the entire contents of a bottle of water on his head while saying "youre getting a little hot, you need to cool down." He looked up almost in slow motion with water pouring down his face so I kissed him. I sharp short kiss and walked away coldly. COuldnt have been better had it been an Aaron Spelling drama... Thank goodness i was hot for teacher too cause that lil crush got me back on track. We were supposed to get back together - we were going to run away together on the alst day of school so our friends didnt know where we were. The ball was in my court but I wanted HIM to make the move. I waited too long and lost my turn. Lost him. Le Sigh.... It was a hard summer, pretty aweful actually when I got an IM from a girl who turned out to be Derics girlfriend's cousin telling me I was crazy. So what if I beat him up when he got in my way trying to run after his girl and beat her ass? Dont f*ck with a girl on a mission to rearrange another girls face. I punched him in the face and slammed his head into a locker while making a promise to kill him. Drama indeed.
That summer I thought about Eddie O a lot. September rolled around. I was a senior and he wasnt a teacher there anymore. Went to California. Kevin and I actually got to hang out. Although we were best friends since 9th grade, I had always had boyfriends so the two of us never hung out alone. Once that happened, a few sparks flew. Haha, definately not. We dated for like 2 weeks before realizing that we were meant to be friends. I left Senior year open. No guys - all friends. I ended up getting voted HomeComing queen. The one little group of "cool" kids talked to me. Even Mr.Mike "too cool for you" Ivers. Hmmm.
Ski trip rolled around. Deric was allowed to come this year. With his girlfriend of course. But somehow I ended up rooming with his two male best friends for that trip. I'll never forget that ski trip. But ride up meant finding someone to sit with. I dont remember who I was sitting with, I know it was a guy and I know that Liz knew him too. I gave up my seat for her so she didnt have to sit next to Billy Reed who was two years older than her. I sat with him instead. He was a first-year-alum who came back as a "chaperone" just like mom's friend's son Jim Heiser. Sooo, I sat with Billy who I had thought was so hot since freshman year. He was white, had loud-spikey blonde hair, and played b-ball on the team. He was great to watch. He could defend a whole team himself... Not to mention that he had his belly pierced and could dance. So yeah... I was starting to get a little glazy and he went into the bathroom to become one with nature. (no not sitting down, im talkin about treeeees.) I never had done that so he invited me into the bus bathroom to take a "shotgun" whatever that was. I did. It didnt make me react, just made my eyes glassy. I remember it so clear now. Jay Becker made fun of me but for somereason his drunk ass was laying on the floor singing. THere was definately a song he was singing that I didnt know he knew. I think it was the chorus to Cum On Everybody. I remember being shocked cause he was a punk rockers. (Japanese and Jewish. cool huh?!) Yeeeeah, so I followed that Billy Reed kid around the hotel until big titted Brooke lured him in with sex - something I wasnt prepared to give up. Jim ended up being a good friend lookin out for me and warning that Billy was telling people I played with his balls or something like that. Bad move Jim, cause some how I ended up in a stairwell with you and Mike doing cartwheels naked. He left Mike and I alone for a minute - he said we were like Muhammed Ali and Joe Fraiser. It was true though. Then we kissed. I remember. Jim came back and the three of us stumbled up to abother floor that had another huge trip on it. But instead of drunken high schoolers, it was 20 and 30 something black folks. One woman was a stripper. She had pictures, she showed us. Jim pulled out the chapstick and assured us that he would get a kiss from this woman. He did. MIke made sure he did too then we left. We stayed awake until like 7am. I took a 15 minute power nap then went skiing. I mastered the bunny slope. Back to the hotel, hot tub (that buff guy said I had nice toes. ha) then dinner buffet. More alcohol of course then 7am hit again. I was with Jim all night and Katie I. and I made a list of why we loved Jim. He was a "chaperone" so he spent the 6-7am hour confiscating liquor saying cops were coming around. Total lie - he copped it all forhimself. Including MY Bottle which he ended up setting up for me and him to take shots at a romantic little table for 2. He draged me skiing that day. I was mad cause saturday was the ski day and I tried to wake him up and he wouldnt get up. Sunday was the day you had to pay to go. He made me go anyway, paid for me and almost made me die. I am A BEGINNER! I had no sleep, lots and lots to drink and he conned me into getting onto a black diamond. I couldnt say no to him. Well I fell onthe first turn into a ditch and crashed into a fence that seperated me from clouds and the sight of a speck on the gound that was actually the ski lodge. hmmm. He popped his skis off and jumped down. He saved me. Back to the hotel was the shots for two moment - that marked like 30 something hours him and I spend no more than 10 feet away from eachother. I had about 7 shots before boarding the bus (ahhh high school!) and he has near 10. We got on the bus and I remember him pulling strings to get me on the same bus with his which hadnt been the one I came on. THis chick Jill who was clearly swining from his pubes was kinda pissed. I remember. We sat together, cuddled and passed out. Talking later we realized that we kissed. It was the only think ive ever done drunk and didnt remember. Oh how I wished I remembered. He had a girlfriend. We kept talking - online a lot. I grew quite fond, too much so perhaps. He did too.
Senior year ended and I had nothing but dreams of guys I couldnt have like him and my old teacher. It was better that way - I wanted to be single so I could come to drexel as a real city b*tch rockin all the suburb guys. Nothing works out that way.
I met a guy the summer before college. He delivered Pepsi to shoprite as the ass crack of dawn. I noticed because by that time I was a big wig decorator working the early shift. He was cute - really cute. Brown hair, blue eyes and the brightest biggest smile Ive ever seen in real life, all atop a body that was 210 pounds of pure chisled muscle. He was a college football player. Football, my love.
Good work ethic, good family (my two biggest turn ons) and he was honest to god nice. Nice! And even better, he wanted to get to know me. For a reason that I still can not understand, he liked me... We went out on a date. He pulled up in a pickup trick. Funniest thing ever. We had a really nice time together. He went away from school in August like most colleges do - 3 1/2 hours away at Lycoming. He came to Philly to surprise me because I was having a bad dayl. He brought me my favorate flowers - fuji mums.
I moved to Drexel and on a rainy Tuesday night he drove 3 1/2 miles again to bring me flowers and to tell me he had fallen in love with me. I broke his heart by saying good bye. I was scared. I was also confused cause I wanted to be unattatched in college. Boo to me becuse it was a long lonely winter until a certain someone finally had the nerve to get his friend to talk to me for him. That stoner kid with the chin piercings thought I was cute. We hit it off nicely....
My life in just 1 1/2 hours.... Hahahaha, Im nuts.