Day 14, 15 Tour de Commute
The following is posted with apologies to Phil Liggett, Paul Sherwin and BikeSnobNYC. It is the product of a deranged mind.
Phil: Well it’s a marvelous smokey morning here at the Tour de River Commute. The sights and smells are making it extra special.
Paul: It sure is Phil and I hope the riders are ready for what may prove to be an intense effort for today’s stage. The Queen stage of this year’s River Commute Tour promises fireworks aplenty.
Paul: The riders are well underway and we already have several dogs on the course.
Phil: Yes it’s a beautiful sport, but a shame the crowds can’t respect the rider’s safety and leave their pets at home!
Paul : And there’s an attack at the first intermediate sprint. A rider in red has soundly defeated the Grandeur of the Seas.
Phil: Why that wasn’t even close, Paul, perhaps that ship is conserving its energy for GC.
Paul: The speed is increasing as we approach the major climb of the day.
Phil: Our leader on the road is dancing on the pedals, motoring up the climb like a man possessed. He passes a rider who was in the early break like he was standing still!
Paul: Well, Phil, that may be because that early break rider was off the bike and walking it up. That just goes to show the incredible intensity of today’s test.
Paul: And he’s taking enormous chances on the downhill descent. I think he going to have a go at the next intermediate sprint. And there he goes!
Phil: Where is he getting this energy from? I haven’t seen a solo attack like this since Landis on Stage 17.
Paul: More like a Jens Voigt or Cancellara to me Phil.
Phil: That’s right Paul, we probably shouldn’t have mentioned that embarrassing episode.
Paul: Incredible! A train has crossed in front of the race! The peloton is bearing down behind our man like a hungry pack of wolves. The race organizers should be red faced about this!
Phil: This will stop our man in front. Surely this will mean the sprinters will have their day.
Paul: The train is passed and he’s off again. Incredible industrial scenery today as the peloton powers over this ancient bridge in pursuit of our race leader.
Phil: Yes I rather think it reminds me of the gorgeous man made vistas from our recent Tour de Jersey coverage.
Paul: Right you are Phil, but the riders need all their powers of concentration to make this tricky narrow bridge crossing. A tremendous headwind seems to be holding them back.
Phil: And no way for the teams to organize their echelons. They may not catch him! Like Rasmussen at Tignes.
Paul: We shouldn’t mention him either Phil.
Phil: Oh right.
Paul: He’ll really have to dig deep into that briefcase of courage if he wants to stay away from that raging peloton.
Phil: I don’t know Paul, they seem to be having trouble getting organized at the front. He’s in the final kilometer, there’s the flame rouge. Just one more small climb and flat all the way in to the finish. His grimace turns to smile. A look back, yes no one will catch him now. Arms raised in victory. An impressive win.
POP!
Drat! back to reality. Well I shouldn't be kissing any podium girls anyhoo.
Phil: Well it’s a marvelous smokey morning here at the Tour de River Commute. The sights and smells are making it extra special.
Paul: It sure is Phil and I hope the riders are ready for what may prove to be an intense effort for today’s stage. The Queen stage of this year’s River Commute Tour promises fireworks aplenty.
Paul: The riders are well underway and we already have several dogs on the course.
Phil: Yes it’s a beautiful sport, but a shame the crowds can’t respect the rider’s safety and leave their pets at home!
Paul : And there’s an attack at the first intermediate sprint. A rider in red has soundly defeated the Grandeur of the Seas.
Phil: Why that wasn’t even close, Paul, perhaps that ship is conserving its energy for GC.
Paul: The speed is increasing as we approach the major climb of the day.
Phil: Our leader on the road is dancing on the pedals, motoring up the climb like a man possessed. He passes a rider who was in the early break like he was standing still!
Paul: Well, Phil, that may be because that early break rider was off the bike and walking it up. That just goes to show the incredible intensity of today’s test.
Paul: And he’s taking enormous chances on the downhill descent. I think he going to have a go at the next intermediate sprint. And there he goes!
Phil: Where is he getting this energy from? I haven’t seen a solo attack like this since Landis on Stage 17.
Paul: More like a Jens Voigt or Cancellara to me Phil.
Phil: That’s right Paul, we probably shouldn’t have mentioned that embarrassing episode.
Paul: Incredible! A train has crossed in front of the race! The peloton is bearing down behind our man like a hungry pack of wolves. The race organizers should be red faced about this!
Phil: This will stop our man in front. Surely this will mean the sprinters will have their day.
Paul: The train is passed and he’s off again. Incredible industrial scenery today as the peloton powers over this ancient bridge in pursuit of our race leader.
Phil: Yes I rather think it reminds me of the gorgeous man made vistas from our recent Tour de Jersey coverage.
Paul: Right you are Phil, but the riders need all their powers of concentration to make this tricky narrow bridge crossing. A tremendous headwind seems to be holding them back.
Phil: And no way for the teams to organize their echelons. They may not catch him! Like Rasmussen at Tignes.
Paul: We shouldn’t mention him either Phil.
Phil: Oh right.
Paul: He’ll really have to dig deep into that briefcase of courage if he wants to stay away from that raging peloton.
Phil: I don’t know Paul, they seem to be having trouble getting organized at the front. He’s in the final kilometer, there’s the flame rouge. Just one more small climb and flat all the way in to the finish. His grimace turns to smile. A look back, yes no one will catch him now. Arms raised in victory. An impressive win.
POP!
Drat! back to reality. Well I shouldn't be kissing any podium girls anyhoo.