things anew
i'm in jersey visiting the family. i love being here. i never get to see my family and it's refreshing to see them. i enjoy their company. i have been seeing a lot of my nephew, Anthony. he's adorable. he's six weeks old and already gaining a personality. he's smiley and for the most part a happy baby. he's so cute. i love playing with him. i even changed a diaper of his without getting peed on. and, he slept on my chest. i just adore this kid. he's the sweetest thing ever.
my dad has been very adamint about me getting a new car because of the drive with the new job. I will be making more money and maybe now i'll be able to afford the payments. i get my first teaching paycheck on August 5. I want to see how much i am actually going to get everyday two weeks. once i see that i'll feel a bit better i think. i have narrowed the car search down to three cars, a toyota yaris, a hyundai accent (4 door) or a scion xa. my dad wants me to get the accent. the warranty is hard to beat, it is 10 years or 100,000 miles. that's damn good. i don't know if the jetta can take the drive 5 days a week and the gas mileage sucks. 80 miles round trip. eek!
i'm also concerned about things with michael. we have been talking a lot since being broken up. i still have some feelings for him. he's a great guy. there are somethings about him that i'd like to change, but as my mother said, that's part of the person. I'm not a shallow person, but perhaps in this situation i am being one. he wants to meet me at the airport on saturday instead of shawn. he said he'll show if even regardless if shawn is there or not. shawn is supposed to be my ride home. i'm torn though, do i want to see michael pick me up from the airport or not? my parents certainly like him. they have been dissing matt up and down here. they both really like michael. i think that if i were to begin dating him again, i'd need somethings to change. i told him the other day that i want him to be more masculine, like to take charge more often and be more firm about things. he said that he was glad that i said that. i feel better having told him that.
i'm sad that i have to leave my family on Saturday, but my life is in Florida now. i don't even call people i knew here in Jersey anymore because I really don't care. or maybe to say it better, I feel as if they don't. I did call Shiv, he was my best friend senior year of high school. He wanted to get together last night, but my family was over. Whenever I come here, my family plans everything. I do feel closer to my mom lately. I've always been a daddy's girl. my mom is such an amazing person. she's my hero. i hope to be as great as her and to look as great at her at age 54. my mom teaches school by day and works at Target by night to keep the family afloat. my dad can't work anymore because of his stroke. he does take care of the household things and other things like driving my brother back and forth to work when needed because TJ doesn't have his license yet.
I've gotten some nice clothes for school in the past two days. i needed to get some. and they are a size lower. thank god.
my dad has been very adamint about me getting a new car because of the drive with the new job. I will be making more money and maybe now i'll be able to afford the payments. i get my first teaching paycheck on August 5. I want to see how much i am actually going to get everyday two weeks. once i see that i'll feel a bit better i think. i have narrowed the car search down to three cars, a toyota yaris, a hyundai accent (4 door) or a scion xa. my dad wants me to get the accent. the warranty is hard to beat, it is 10 years or 100,000 miles. that's damn good. i don't know if the jetta can take the drive 5 days a week and the gas mileage sucks. 80 miles round trip. eek!
i'm also concerned about things with michael. we have been talking a lot since being broken up. i still have some feelings for him. he's a great guy. there are somethings about him that i'd like to change, but as my mother said, that's part of the person. I'm not a shallow person, but perhaps in this situation i am being one. he wants to meet me at the airport on saturday instead of shawn. he said he'll show if even regardless if shawn is there or not. shawn is supposed to be my ride home. i'm torn though, do i want to see michael pick me up from the airport or not? my parents certainly like him. they have been dissing matt up and down here. they both really like michael. i think that if i were to begin dating him again, i'd need somethings to change. i told him the other day that i want him to be more masculine, like to take charge more often and be more firm about things. he said that he was glad that i said that. i feel better having told him that.
i'm sad that i have to leave my family on Saturday, but my life is in Florida now. i don't even call people i knew here in Jersey anymore because I really don't care. or maybe to say it better, I feel as if they don't. I did call Shiv, he was my best friend senior year of high school. He wanted to get together last night, but my family was over. Whenever I come here, my family plans everything. I do feel closer to my mom lately. I've always been a daddy's girl. my mom is such an amazing person. she's my hero. i hope to be as great as her and to look as great at her at age 54. my mom teaches school by day and works at Target by night to keep the family afloat. my dad can't work anymore because of his stroke. he does take care of the household things and other things like driving my brother back and forth to work when needed because TJ doesn't have his license yet.
I've gotten some nice clothes for school in the past two days. i needed to get some. and they are a size lower. thank god.