(no subject)
I heard an interesting story today. It was about a family that was composed entirely of birdwatchers. Everyone in the family loved to watch birds. The father would stare out the window on the way to work, the mother would sit in the backyard and gaze at the flocks surrounding their birdfeeders (for in a family that loved birds this much, it should be obvious that they had an enormous amount of birdfeeders), the kids would do school projects on their favorite birds, and even the baby lived in a room with bird wallpaper and would giggle at the feathered shapes outside her window.
The family didn't only watch the local birds, however. Their family vacations were all about birdwatching. They had been from one side of the country to the other, seeking the next ornithological experience. They had even traveled abroad on a few treasured expeditions, once even getting as far as Australia to see new and exciting varieties of birds, as well as some kangaroos. But the birds were more important. They were only occasional kangaroo-watchers, while they were definitely full-time bird watchers.
There was also a large and famous zoo nearby, one that had a massive collection of rare and valuable specimens. When the family couldn't get out of town, or weren't feeling in the mood for traipsing through the woods, they'd travel to the zoo for a glimpse of the exotic. The father enjoyed looking at the vultures, with their silly knobbly heads. The mother most liked the hummingbirds, like a swarm of jewels with ADD. The children most enjoyed watching the famous red eagle, the prize bird in the zoo's collection. No one knew what the baby's favorite bird was. She was too young to say, and seemed to coo happily at all of them.
One day, the mother was washing dishes when her children ran in, crying. "What's wrong?" she asked. Her children pulled her in front of the TV, where a dignified looking reporter was explaining that the famous red eagle of the nearby zoo had escaped. As this was the children's favorite bird in all the world, it was no wonder they were so dismayed.
The mother put a comforting arm around her children. "Don't worry." She said. "I'm sure they'll find the eagle very soon."
Just then, the reporter announced that the zoo was posting a one million dollar reward for the return of its prized exhibit. Unlike in cartoons, the mother's eyes did not turn into dollar signs. That would have been excruciatingly painful, as well as requiring major cosmetic surgery. But you could hear a little "ka-ching" go off in her head. Just think of all the birdwatching trips that money could buy! They could go anywhere in the world! They could visit Australia again, and even see more kangaroos! (Though the birds were definitely the most important part, the mother would not deny that the kangaroos were an added bonus.)
Hugging her children, the mother said "Now look. We could even find the red eagle ourselves. After all, we've managed to find birds that no one else was able to see. And you've watched the red eagle so much, you know all about its habits. Now where would it go?"
Sniffling, one of the children commented "It- it likes to live by the coast."
"Away from people." the other added.
"Good!" The mother said. "Then let's go find it!"
That evening, when the father got home from work, the family made a plan. The father and mother thought of most of it, but the children were able to add their knowledge of the red eagle, and the baby threw in an occasional giggle. And one smelly diaper, which was not treated as the valuable contribution it was obviously meant to be, but instead hastily disposed of.
The next day, the family set out for the nearby coast. Binoculars ready, they drove slowly throughout the day, scanning for a flash of red in the trees. Though they saw cardinals and robins, there was not a single sign of a larger bird.
While they were stopping for gas, however, they found a clue. The father overheard two fishermen discussing something odd that they had seen earlier that day. Apparently, they had caught a glimpse of something large and red flying through the air and into the trees. Unfortunately, not being the exemplary bird watchers that the family was, they were unable to give any identification besides "some kinda bird". Still, the family was certain that this must be the valuable red eagle. Getting the location from the fishermen, they set out to find the bird.
By the time they arrived at the spot the fisherman had told them about, it was getting dark. In pursuit of birdly knowledge, they had camped out many times before, and they had no problem doing so again. As they were setting up the tent, just before it got too dark to see, one of the children saw a brief flash of red. There wasn't enough light for her to make out what kind of bird it had been, but she was able to tell that it had been much larger than a regular songbird. The family immediately broke out flashlights and began searching the woods, but to no avail. By the time they straggled back to the half-finished tent, cold and tired, it was full dark. They had to finish setting up camp and eat a quick dinner by the dim moonlight that filtered through the trees. But they had high hopes for the next day, when they would surely find the bird that had eluded them that night.
Sadly, they were disappointed the next day. Though one or the other of them sometimes caught a brief glimpse of red, none of them were able to get a clear enough look to identify the bird for certain. (The baby did manage to get a full glimpse of the bird, but no one was able to understand her burbles.)
Another two days passed, with no more luck than the first. They knew that the bird was around, but it was almost as if it were deliberately taunting them. The most that any of them (besides the baby) had seen were brief flashes of red. Finally, sitting around the campfire that night, the father came up with another plan.
"I didn't want to do this." he sighed, pulling some rope and other equipment from the back of the car. "But we have to know if that's the red eagle." Squinting in the dim light of the fire, he began to assemble several bird traps.
He received a surprise when he went to check them the next day, however. It looked like they had caught something. However, whatever that had been had managed to escape, slashing the ropes to tatters as it went. He shook his head as he gazed upon the destruction. "This has to be the eagle." He muttered. "I don't know what else could have done this."
The next day, he went into the nearest town to buy wire for traps that the bird couldn't escape from. While there, he heard several more fishermen talking about the strange red bird that his family had been tracking. All the witness sightings had to mean that the eagle was here. They seemed like decisive proof.
The father set up his traps, this time constructed to be invulnerable to anything short of a pair of wire cutters. All that day, he waited and watched, hoping to see the valuable red eagle fly by. One of the children who had been listening to the radio reported to him that the zoo had raised its reward to two million, desperate to get its prize specimen back. This only furthered the father's determination to capture the red eagle. Two million dollars would buy an enormous amount of birdwatching trips, as well as some kangaroo-watching and maybe even a little koala watching! (They hadn't managed to see the koalas on their trip to Australia. They had regretted it, but the birds came first.) He just needed the bird to fly into one of his upgraded traps, and the family would rejoice.
All that day, there was no sign of the elusive red bird. The father sat nearly motionless, almost a part of the tree he perched in, but the bird did not approach. That night, though, as the family was settling down to sleep, there suddenly came an enormous squawking and flapping from the direction of the traps! The family rushed out of the tent, grabbing flashlights as the went. They were so excited to see that the father even forgot his pants, which he had been changing out of when the noise came, which was something he would be embarrassed about later. But now they were too eager to see the result of all their searches, the bird that all the clues had led them to believe was the prize specimen of the nearby zoo.
Alas, it turned out to be just a red heron.
I told you there was nothing of value underneath the cut =D
And did anyone actually read this whole thing?
ETA: And yes, the family had a very shaggy dog.
The family didn't only watch the local birds, however. Their family vacations were all about birdwatching. They had been from one side of the country to the other, seeking the next ornithological experience. They had even traveled abroad on a few treasured expeditions, once even getting as far as Australia to see new and exciting varieties of birds, as well as some kangaroos. But the birds were more important. They were only occasional kangaroo-watchers, while they were definitely full-time bird watchers.
There was also a large and famous zoo nearby, one that had a massive collection of rare and valuable specimens. When the family couldn't get out of town, or weren't feeling in the mood for traipsing through the woods, they'd travel to the zoo for a glimpse of the exotic. The father enjoyed looking at the vultures, with their silly knobbly heads. The mother most liked the hummingbirds, like a swarm of jewels with ADD. The children most enjoyed watching the famous red eagle, the prize bird in the zoo's collection. No one knew what the baby's favorite bird was. She was too young to say, and seemed to coo happily at all of them.
One day, the mother was washing dishes when her children ran in, crying. "What's wrong?" she asked. Her children pulled her in front of the TV, where a dignified looking reporter was explaining that the famous red eagle of the nearby zoo had escaped. As this was the children's favorite bird in all the world, it was no wonder they were so dismayed.
The mother put a comforting arm around her children. "Don't worry." She said. "I'm sure they'll find the eagle very soon."
Just then, the reporter announced that the zoo was posting a one million dollar reward for the return of its prized exhibit. Unlike in cartoons, the mother's eyes did not turn into dollar signs. That would have been excruciatingly painful, as well as requiring major cosmetic surgery. But you could hear a little "ka-ching" go off in her head. Just think of all the birdwatching trips that money could buy! They could go anywhere in the world! They could visit Australia again, and even see more kangaroos! (Though the birds were definitely the most important part, the mother would not deny that the kangaroos were an added bonus.)
Hugging her children, the mother said "Now look. We could even find the red eagle ourselves. After all, we've managed to find birds that no one else was able to see. And you've watched the red eagle so much, you know all about its habits. Now where would it go?"
Sniffling, one of the children commented "It- it likes to live by the coast."
"Away from people." the other added.
"Good!" The mother said. "Then let's go find it!"
That evening, when the father got home from work, the family made a plan. The father and mother thought of most of it, but the children were able to add their knowledge of the red eagle, and the baby threw in an occasional giggle. And one smelly diaper, which was not treated as the valuable contribution it was obviously meant to be, but instead hastily disposed of.
The next day, the family set out for the nearby coast. Binoculars ready, they drove slowly throughout the day, scanning for a flash of red in the trees. Though they saw cardinals and robins, there was not a single sign of a larger bird.
While they were stopping for gas, however, they found a clue. The father overheard two fishermen discussing something odd that they had seen earlier that day. Apparently, they had caught a glimpse of something large and red flying through the air and into the trees. Unfortunately, not being the exemplary bird watchers that the family was, they were unable to give any identification besides "some kinda bird". Still, the family was certain that this must be the valuable red eagle. Getting the location from the fishermen, they set out to find the bird.
By the time they arrived at the spot the fisherman had told them about, it was getting dark. In pursuit of birdly knowledge, they had camped out many times before, and they had no problem doing so again. As they were setting up the tent, just before it got too dark to see, one of the children saw a brief flash of red. There wasn't enough light for her to make out what kind of bird it had been, but she was able to tell that it had been much larger than a regular songbird. The family immediately broke out flashlights and began searching the woods, but to no avail. By the time they straggled back to the half-finished tent, cold and tired, it was full dark. They had to finish setting up camp and eat a quick dinner by the dim moonlight that filtered through the trees. But they had high hopes for the next day, when they would surely find the bird that had eluded them that night.
Sadly, they were disappointed the next day. Though one or the other of them sometimes caught a brief glimpse of red, none of them were able to get a clear enough look to identify the bird for certain. (The baby did manage to get a full glimpse of the bird, but no one was able to understand her burbles.)
Another two days passed, with no more luck than the first. They knew that the bird was around, but it was almost as if it were deliberately taunting them. The most that any of them (besides the baby) had seen were brief flashes of red. Finally, sitting around the campfire that night, the father came up with another plan.
"I didn't want to do this." he sighed, pulling some rope and other equipment from the back of the car. "But we have to know if that's the red eagle." Squinting in the dim light of the fire, he began to assemble several bird traps.
He received a surprise when he went to check them the next day, however. It looked like they had caught something. However, whatever that had been had managed to escape, slashing the ropes to tatters as it went. He shook his head as he gazed upon the destruction. "This has to be the eagle." He muttered. "I don't know what else could have done this."
The next day, he went into the nearest town to buy wire for traps that the bird couldn't escape from. While there, he heard several more fishermen talking about the strange red bird that his family had been tracking. All the witness sightings had to mean that the eagle was here. They seemed like decisive proof.
The father set up his traps, this time constructed to be invulnerable to anything short of a pair of wire cutters. All that day, he waited and watched, hoping to see the valuable red eagle fly by. One of the children who had been listening to the radio reported to him that the zoo had raised its reward to two million, desperate to get its prize specimen back. This only furthered the father's determination to capture the red eagle. Two million dollars would buy an enormous amount of birdwatching trips, as well as some kangaroo-watching and maybe even a little koala watching! (They hadn't managed to see the koalas on their trip to Australia. They had regretted it, but the birds came first.) He just needed the bird to fly into one of his upgraded traps, and the family would rejoice.
All that day, there was no sign of the elusive red bird. The father sat nearly motionless, almost a part of the tree he perched in, but the bird did not approach. That night, though, as the family was settling down to sleep, there suddenly came an enormous squawking and flapping from the direction of the traps! The family rushed out of the tent, grabbing flashlights as the went. They were so excited to see that the father even forgot his pants, which he had been changing out of when the noise came, which was something he would be embarrassed about later. But now they were too eager to see the result of all their searches, the bird that all the clues had led them to believe was the prize specimen of the nearby zoo.
Alas, it turned out to be just a red heron.
I told you there was nothing of value underneath the cut =D
And did anyone actually read this whole thing?
ETA: And yes, the family had a very shaggy dog.