Pip catches the door and pushes his way into the room, followed by Pippi, who's carrying a box of figurines.
He marches in, two rolled up pieces of paper under his arm. He opens his mouth to say something, when something strange happens.
In the distance, drums start. A steady, rock and roll beat. And then comes the bass line.
Pip drops his papers. He reached behind him and pulls a guitar from nowhere.
Behind him, Pippi has somehow found a microphone and is wailing into it as best she can, throwing up the horns. The figurines lay by the wayside, forgotten.
*Bursts into song*
What were you thinking? What were you trying to do? Were you sexually frustrated? Do you need a good screw?
You go out, you find kids, You arm them with crossbows How is this a good idea?
Didn’t you think? Didn’t you plan? You could’ve asked me, I’m you’re man!
There’s a vampire hunter, lives right down the hall If you had asked him, he would have gladly answered the call!
I have claymores! I have grenades! I have ways of dealing death from here to Marseilles!
You could have set up a trap! You could have used mines! Against vampires, we have no luck, we might as well be mimes! You made humans fight fair and square, head on, against vampires that you knew were coming! Unlike you, we can’t soak up bullets and keep running!
*guitar solo*
Did you think none of us knew? Did you think none of us cared? Did you think that we’d all just shrug our shoulders when you said “so there”?
I had no friends! Not a single one! No one growing up, it wasn’t fun! Rocks thrown at me, early good-byes But the worst came when I lost one of my eyes!
I have the deaths of friends on my soul. I think of that and nights, and the thought makes me cold. I can’t lose another one, not ever again. You people like me, you people will know me. Letting you die would be… an unpardonable sin.
*guitar wail*
“THANK YOU FANDOM! WE LOVE YOU! GOOD NIGHT!”
Pip’s eye snaps open. He coughs nervously. “Er… that was supposed to be a quiet whispered conversation between me and Angel. …Yeah. I’m… I think I’m going to leave now.”
"Because that would be wrong. And he's just worried about people he likes, which would be the same reason you did what you did last night. And he didn't mean to be so loud... It's just one of those days. Ya know?"
He marches in, two rolled up pieces of paper under his arm. He opens his mouth to say something, when something strange happens.
In the distance, drums start. A steady, rock and roll beat. And then comes the bass line.
Pip drops his papers. He reached behind him and pulls a guitar from nowhere.
Behind him, Pippi has somehow found a microphone and is wailing into it as best she can, throwing up the horns. The figurines lay by the wayside, forgotten.
*Bursts into song*
What were you thinking? What were you trying to do?
Were you sexually frustrated? Do you need a good screw?
You go out, you find kids,
You arm them with crossbows
How is this a good idea?
Didn’t you think? Didn’t you plan?
You could’ve asked me, I’m you’re man!
There’s a vampire hunter, lives right down the hall
If you had asked him, he would have gladly answered the call!
I have claymores! I have grenades!
I have ways of dealing death from here to Marseilles!
You could have set up a trap! You could have used mines!
Against vampires, we have no luck, we might as well be mimes!
You made humans fight fair and square, head on, against vampires that you knew were coming!
Unlike you, we can’t soak up bullets and keep running!
*guitar solo*
Did you think none of us knew? Did you think none of us cared?
Did you think that we’d all just shrug our shoulders when you said “so there”?
I had no friends! Not a single one!
No one growing up, it wasn’t fun!
Rocks thrown at me, early good-byes
But the worst came when I lost one of my eyes!
I have the deaths of friends on my soul.
I think of that and nights, and the thought makes me cold.
I can’t lose another one, not ever again.
You people like me, you people will know me. Letting you die would be… an unpardonable sin.
*guitar wail*
“THANK YOU FANDOM! WE LOVE YOU! GOOD NIGHT!”
Pip’s eye snaps open. He coughs nervously. “Er… that was supposed to be a quiet whispered conversation between me and Angel. …Yeah. I’m… I think I’m going to leave now.”
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You know his stoic face? Not so much right now. Anybody thinking he was anywhere near perfect happiness at this moment couldn't be more wrong either.
When he spoke, he was quiet. The kind of quiet that would make any sane person really, really wish he was actually yelling.
"Give me one good reason why I don't pull your lungs out through the back of your chest. Right NOW."
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"Come on Pip. They don't need us."
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But when you have only one eye, your glares tend to become concentrated.
He let Pippi lead him out of the room, closing the door behind him.
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Anybody else who wanted to be an asshole could do it elsewhere. Like Peru.
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