so close...yet SO FUCKING FAR
I SOOOOOOOO HATE SCHOOL RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i seriously can not stand it. i need motivation so i can just get this stupid thing over with, but i keep losing whatever sense of the word i find. i have a total of 2 teachers who are supporting me. no one else, except my friends believes in me and it's so hard...i'm tired of having no life and staying home to do makeup work. i never want to be sick again...this so f***ed me over. if all my grades aren't c's by the end of this semester, i get kicked out of full ib and have to take summer school to makeup the semester of normal credits i didn't take.
I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN...i would DIE.
that's not like me and i never want that to be me. i have to do this and i'm supposed to be in these classes, but even that realization isn't motivating me enough and i'm having trouble finding more...
i'm drowning in makeup work.
i'm gasping for relief from stress.
and i'm
going
bloody
insane.
on a lighter note the other day i brought up my math grade from a lovely f to a c-. that was fucking awesome. now if only it'd work with my other classes...
here was my report card..........which i'm completely ashamed/embarassed/any of those words relating to the listed of and i feel like i'm looking at someone else's report card. at first i kept checking the name and it was like a reality check every time: RACHEL DUSA
spanish 4 ib sl with sommer- I (for incomplete) i didn't even know that existed
ib mathematics hl with campbell- C-
history of the americas ib hl with mccarthy- F {excessive absences, missing test/major assignments, in danger of failing}
ib theory of knowledge sl with quandt- F {incomplete work, excessive absences, achieving below ability}
chemistry 11 ib hl with dick- C- {low test scores, excessive absences}
english 11 ib hl with tovani- C
visual art ib sl with bommarito- A-
this kills me inside. i'm better than this, i know it, and yet nothing is happening...
wish me luck..............
<3, rachel
by the way anyone who's been talking to me and helping me, thank you so much, because you seriously are saving me and i appreciate that you care that much.
I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN...i would DIE.
that's not like me and i never want that to be me. i have to do this and i'm supposed to be in these classes, but even that realization isn't motivating me enough and i'm having trouble finding more...
i'm drowning in makeup work.
i'm gasping for relief from stress.
and i'm
going
bloody
insane.
on a lighter note the other day i brought up my math grade from a lovely f to a c-. that was fucking awesome. now if only it'd work with my other classes...
here was my report card..........which i'm completely ashamed/embarassed/any of those words relating to the listed of and i feel like i'm looking at someone else's report card. at first i kept checking the name and it was like a reality check every time: RACHEL DUSA
spanish 4 ib sl with sommer- I (for incomplete) i didn't even know that existed
ib mathematics hl with campbell- C-
history of the americas ib hl with mccarthy- F {excessive absences, missing test/major assignments, in danger of failing}
ib theory of knowledge sl with quandt- F {incomplete work, excessive absences, achieving below ability}
chemistry 11 ib hl with dick- C- {low test scores, excessive absences}
english 11 ib hl with tovani- C
visual art ib sl with bommarito- A-
this kills me inside. i'm better than this, i know it, and yet nothing is happening...
wish me luck..............
<3, rachel
by the way anyone who's been talking to me and helping me, thank you so much, because you seriously are saving me and i appreciate that you care that much.