Don't Read This If You're Going To Say 'Get Over Him'
So Amanda left a little while ago... Yesterday she took my bus home... We just hung out for a while... Went online and I did people's ljs so they are pretty... We ate so much food... Then we watched 'A Walk To Remember'... I love that movie sooo much... It makes me cry everytime... We cried almost the whole time and called Justin every time we did... When the movie ended we talked to people online then went upstairs to go to bed... While Amanda was on the phone with Justin we went through all my notes from this year... That was one of this biggest mistakes I have ever made... I've been doing so well lately... Realizing that it's over and almost moving on... We read the notes and everyone from Steve was like a slap in the face... I honestly don't know why I do this to my self... So I had to throw all the notes at Amanda... I layed in my bed and just listened to music while she talked to Justin... After awhile I got annoyed because I was thinking about past phone calls and stuff... And it made me cry but I didn't care if they were on the phone... So I got up and got everything ready to go to bed... I watched TV for awhile... She came in and told me that I could talk to her if I needed to... But I really wasn't in the mood to talk about how much I missed him and everything... So I said no and we watched 'Never Been Kissed' on TV... Once again this was not a good idea because it ended with the girl getting her first kiss... Amanda fell asleep before the movie ended... When it was over I turned it off and tried fall asleep... It didn't work and I just laid there for awhile... I thought about alot and ended up crying myself to sleep... Woke up this morning about 3 times... Every single alarm clock in my house went off and apparently I'm the only one that heard them... So I had to get up everytime and turn them off... Got up for good around 11 and had breakfast... We got dressed and then went shopping... First we went to Kohl's... I got a skirt and underwear... I love the skirt... I'm going to wear it on Monday... Then we went to Walmart and I got another skirt... This one I'm going to tye die in Interior Design in a couple weeks... It's a large but I was desperate so I got it any way... Then we went to DSW because my mom needed some shoes... Amanda and I tried on random shoes because we were bored... There were these amazing boots... They looked like space boots... Some funny things happend... Won't say anything but they were really mean... Made of few more stops then came home... Amanda called out of work because she wasn't feeling well... We ate food and then her mom came to get her... My mom and sis are at her Talent Show dress rehearsal... Then she has a softball game... So I'm home alone til later tonight... Monster's Inc. is on tonight... It's my deff. one of my favorite movies... I guess I'll have to watch it alone... I want to have someone over but no one is home... So call me if you want to hang out tonight... You know the number...
You say you want to 'just be friends'... You dont want me to cry... But you cant even bring yourself to look me in the eye... How can I be friends with you... When I love you so much... And every time I close my eyes I remember your soft touch... Why did you say you loved me if you knew it would end like this... Then i hear myself ask you for one last good night kiss... As you lean down towards my face a tear falls from my eye... I remember all we'd been through... Now I have to say good-bye... How rage flows through my veins just as your lips brush my cheek...
You broke my heart in piece... Now I see that I was weak... I've changed alot since then... Sometimes I still think of you... Now I don't feel love or hate for the boy who broke my heart in two...