to be in love....
ok so i think im going to rant. cuz i mean what else is livejournal for. i mean really.
life is good and all and probably if you look back on this then youll probably think my life sucks or i hate it or anything. but really just to tell the world that my life is basically amazing tho i feel like complaining about the tiny little things that are bugging me.
so anyways...now that ive begun with that i can complain.
i hate when ppl fake fight. like seriously its unneccessary. and when ppl are mean when they joke. like really. i hate it when ppl do that. cuz half of joking is true. so it hurts just as much. like if you call ppl names or flick them off, or just bring ppl down its not needed. and i try to tell ppl that it is something like i seriously dislike to the point of hate, but then theyre just like, well i was joking dont be so sensitive. but it still hurts.
that and the fact that two of my friends actually had a picture perfect movie moment oppurtunity and they f---ed it up, i mean like it was perfect....besides the fact that these two flirt with each other all the time and are all over each other in a puppylove kinda way....here is what happened: so apparently they were just hanging out and kissing and stuff but were actually technically together(which is a whole other story, cuz hes a really flirty guy, sometimes overly which isnt right cuz hes totally enamored with this one chick) so back to tonight....she turned him down cuz she didnt want to be stuck into a relationship after like a few weeks of knowing the guy, which makes sense. so they fake fight all the time and flirt and hit each other. only sometimes gets annoying. but yea so he was all still wanting her and such and she was just having a fun time. so then he got all stubborn and pouty and making a scene...so then we went out to get food and she joined us and then stormed off. and he was like im not gonna go after her...and so we made him, so he went to her dorm and kissed her, and asked her to ask him out........but she said no. so then he left and stormed off but then we bugged him and called him, and told him to be the man and ask her out again. and now she said yes.....
so it was amazing except for they kinda messed it up. i mean it was directly from a movie! but i mean that doesnt happen to me! im so bummed. and i bet im just young and it will happen eventually but i just didnt think that that happened in real life at all and now that it has happend to someone means it CAN happen!
so yea im jealous it happened to her and not me
two, guys are kinda confusing me. there are so many different signals be sent my way. but they have to mean nothing cuz the ppl are taken, which is weird. that or its the weird ones who hit on me when im drunk
o and apparently i come off too strong. im just me and stuff but apparently im intimidating to guys and such. not something i wanna do. like i want to be confident and such, and be me. i dont want to be slutty or quiet, which is what guys want. and im not not gonna be me. like so i dont know what to do. i guess ill just wait
and so whats really bugging me is that like i have these peeps and such but i really just want a hug. and im not a person who gets close to ppl really fast, especially not physically. and i dont know how to even begin to go down that road. cuz i know that i need someone to be there for me, but i have built that kind of a relationship with anyone yet... im glad tho that my bff is coming up in two weeks which i cant wait for! that will help me out a whole hell of a lot!
i dont know if im coming home for thanksgiving but i really wanna! i miss my mom and sister so much! and i miss my puppies so much! i feel like im trying to keep so many relationships going its hard. i kinda feel like im the one working really hard to keep things up and i guess i want to not have to work so hard. i want to know that ppl who ive spent time with really care about me.
and also up here i can socialize and such, but thats like at parties and stuff. but then im a piece of ass there. like just someone who guys can dance up on. and im not like that at all. and i dont really like the whole drinking scene. like its fun and all but why cant ppl just have fun and be hyper and crazy without it. i dont know...its just all feeling weird
im trying to decifer whats real and true and whats bs. like i hate lies and fake stuff
i just dont know whose legit and honest and whose just lying to get ahead. im honest and im totally me. and if im totally me and ppl reject me it hurts. i guess thats what it all boils down to...i want to be accepted i guess and i have to a certain point but i dont know if its real.
life is good and all and probably if you look back on this then youll probably think my life sucks or i hate it or anything. but really just to tell the world that my life is basically amazing tho i feel like complaining about the tiny little things that are bugging me.
so anyways...now that ive begun with that i can complain.
i hate when ppl fake fight. like seriously its unneccessary. and when ppl are mean when they joke. like really. i hate it when ppl do that. cuz half of joking is true. so it hurts just as much. like if you call ppl names or flick them off, or just bring ppl down its not needed. and i try to tell ppl that it is something like i seriously dislike to the point of hate, but then theyre just like, well i was joking dont be so sensitive. but it still hurts.
that and the fact that two of my friends actually had a picture perfect movie moment oppurtunity and they f---ed it up, i mean like it was perfect....besides the fact that these two flirt with each other all the time and are all over each other in a puppylove kinda way....here is what happened: so apparently they were just hanging out and kissing and stuff but were actually technically together(which is a whole other story, cuz hes a really flirty guy, sometimes overly which isnt right cuz hes totally enamored with this one chick) so back to tonight....she turned him down cuz she didnt want to be stuck into a relationship after like a few weeks of knowing the guy, which makes sense. so they fake fight all the time and flirt and hit each other. only sometimes gets annoying. but yea so he was all still wanting her and such and she was just having a fun time. so then he got all stubborn and pouty and making a scene...so then we went out to get food and she joined us and then stormed off. and he was like im not gonna go after her...and so we made him, so he went to her dorm and kissed her, and asked her to ask him out........but she said no. so then he left and stormed off but then we bugged him and called him, and told him to be the man and ask her out again. and now she said yes.....
so it was amazing except for they kinda messed it up. i mean it was directly from a movie! but i mean that doesnt happen to me! im so bummed. and i bet im just young and it will happen eventually but i just didnt think that that happened in real life at all and now that it has happend to someone means it CAN happen!
so yea im jealous it happened to her and not me
two, guys are kinda confusing me. there are so many different signals be sent my way. but they have to mean nothing cuz the ppl are taken, which is weird. that or its the weird ones who hit on me when im drunk
o and apparently i come off too strong. im just me and stuff but apparently im intimidating to guys and such. not something i wanna do. like i want to be confident and such, and be me. i dont want to be slutty or quiet, which is what guys want. and im not not gonna be me. like so i dont know what to do. i guess ill just wait
and so whats really bugging me is that like i have these peeps and such but i really just want a hug. and im not a person who gets close to ppl really fast, especially not physically. and i dont know how to even begin to go down that road. cuz i know that i need someone to be there for me, but i have built that kind of a relationship with anyone yet... im glad tho that my bff is coming up in two weeks which i cant wait for! that will help me out a whole hell of a lot!
i dont know if im coming home for thanksgiving but i really wanna! i miss my mom and sister so much! and i miss my puppies so much! i feel like im trying to keep so many relationships going its hard. i kinda feel like im the one working really hard to keep things up and i guess i want to not have to work so hard. i want to know that ppl who ive spent time with really care about me.
and also up here i can socialize and such, but thats like at parties and stuff. but then im a piece of ass there. like just someone who guys can dance up on. and im not like that at all. and i dont really like the whole drinking scene. like its fun and all but why cant ppl just have fun and be hyper and crazy without it. i dont know...its just all feeling weird
im trying to decifer whats real and true and whats bs. like i hate lies and fake stuff
i just dont know whose legit and honest and whose just lying to get ahead. im honest and im totally me. and if im totally me and ppl reject me it hurts. i guess thats what it all boils down to...i want to be accepted i guess and i have to a certain point but i dont know if its real.