life is fricken not fun at the moment.
so basically i think im going to rant.....and it doesnt even really matter cuz the ppl who i want to read or hear this arent on livejournal so i guess im talking to the air but what the hell maybe if i get it out of my system ill be good.
ppl have decided to be jerks to me for some odd reason. one i wanna bitch a few ppl out but cant. and i wanna talk to others but cant. and ppl arent responding to my texts. like not even anything, just simply ignoring me. which i dont think i deserve. i feel like sometimes my only connection is thru this stupid technology. everyone has stuff to do and ppl to do. and i only get them for a split second on cyberspace where everyone is more open and maybe overly nice cuz you cant see ppl face to face.
boys are being dumb. one sec theyre nice and they next they pretend like you dont exist...not cool!!!
and i feel like im living my life watching everyone. i try so hard to join in but i feel as if my place is only on the edge, observing. i hate not living but i feel as if my place with whom ive built my life around is closing the door on me and no i probably shouldnt care cuz im leaving soon but still, its not a nice feeling.
i should just live in the present and not in technology but i feel like that is the everyone is at. sad but true.
im scared of the inter-relationship i didnt realize it until today. ppl get hurt so they build walls and now i feel like im just tearing them down simply so i live and feel. even if i get hurt, tho somehow i think it isnt a good plan.
ive loved and ive lived but now its failed. so im at square one again. starting all over, its cool and all but i cant go back. i wanna move forward only! i just wish ppl would be by my side.
ive got a tough skin tho i have buttons that get pushed. i wanna let everyone in just so i have ppl. but i know i have to rebuild, no just build.
i dont know. it just sucks. cuz i tht i was in and was accepted and then i got rejected and such. dirty looks tear ppl down more than words. and so does silence. i hate silence!
like i said the ppl who i want to let know all this wont hear it. and i cant tell them.
that and i feel like im not perdy anymore. i tht i had a spark or something. and now stupid someone took it away. i just wish.....for a lot of things, to be different but then again not, cuz change is scary. tho one thing i do know, is i want a better life than this!
ppl have decided to be jerks to me for some odd reason. one i wanna bitch a few ppl out but cant. and i wanna talk to others but cant. and ppl arent responding to my texts. like not even anything, just simply ignoring me. which i dont think i deserve. i feel like sometimes my only connection is thru this stupid technology. everyone has stuff to do and ppl to do. and i only get them for a split second on cyberspace where everyone is more open and maybe overly nice cuz you cant see ppl face to face.
boys are being dumb. one sec theyre nice and they next they pretend like you dont exist...not cool!!!
and i feel like im living my life watching everyone. i try so hard to join in but i feel as if my place is only on the edge, observing. i hate not living but i feel as if my place with whom ive built my life around is closing the door on me and no i probably shouldnt care cuz im leaving soon but still, its not a nice feeling.
i should just live in the present and not in technology but i feel like that is the everyone is at. sad but true.
im scared of the inter-relationship i didnt realize it until today. ppl get hurt so they build walls and now i feel like im just tearing them down simply so i live and feel. even if i get hurt, tho somehow i think it isnt a good plan.
ive loved and ive lived but now its failed. so im at square one again. starting all over, its cool and all but i cant go back. i wanna move forward only! i just wish ppl would be by my side.
ive got a tough skin tho i have buttons that get pushed. i wanna let everyone in just so i have ppl. but i know i have to rebuild, no just build.
i dont know. it just sucks. cuz i tht i was in and was accepted and then i got rejected and such. dirty looks tear ppl down more than words. and so does silence. i hate silence!
like i said the ppl who i want to let know all this wont hear it. and i cant tell them.
that and i feel like im not perdy anymore. i tht i had a spark or something. and now stupid someone took it away. i just wish.....for a lot of things, to be different but then again not, cuz change is scary. tho one thing i do know, is i want a better life than this!