Pink Diary: Blogs and empty shells
Was pretty bored yesterday so I decide to blogsurf--haven't done that in ages.
One link on my LJ led to another and then another. Familiar names (met them, been class/CCA mates, acquaintances in some point in time), unfamiliar people, but all the same--vacated. I was suddenly reminded of the blogging craze that took over the first years of secondary school. I was pretty much a trend follower, opening one after my good friend of the first half year of RG, GV, opened one. (As a sidenote, it was kinda sad she wasn't a friend I could keep.) I remember roughly the look of the first blog layout-white and clean, with raindrops falling over the header. Changing templates was the craze, I kept going on blogskins.com during Com Studies so haha no wonder why my com studies skills suck if not I would be at the level of mandity now. But I digress. Those were the days when I was childish and loved to use lah lor leh and all sorts of weird internet short forms. (Not that I don't now, but less.) A blog was like a crap rubbish bin cum diary, it was like an obsessive compulsive disorder to update once a day, whether it was worthy of remembering or not. I needed or rather thought I needed a space to ramble, so rambutan67.blogspot.com served that purpose.
Then I grew older and felt that my thoughts shouldn't be in the public domain too much esp once when my blog popped up in some Google search. But that was already in Sec 4 when I realised how very unsophisticated my old blog was, when the blogging craze kind of died for me. rambutan67.blogspot.com suddenly became a rather ugly patch in my memory of lower sec because I would just cringe at the way I wrote my blog. I couldn't quite bear to see anymore of it because I thought I sounded crappy and ahlian and a bit bimbo with too many short forms and emoticons and the like. It became like a shell I wanted to shed. I made the shift to LJ and deleted the old domain as a fresh start, to remind myself to document only the important things that I want to remember. Sometimes I wonder if I should have kept it--maybe it would be worth a laugh 10 years down the road, but at that point in time I think it was just too eeky to bear.
Seeing those empty domains void of human traffic reminded me of how much teen blogs are like shells and old skin. Grow, moult, shed etc, and the cycle restarts again. Every blog is another new beginning recording another chapter of life. LJ accompanied me for a good 3 years, past the memorable CL debates, the tumultuous and challenging JC years, my first tussle with pseudo relationship issues, A levels and the triumph of getting where I wanted to go. And now I'm ready to undergo another metamorphosis...probably with a new tumblr in place.
Argh...the transience of things on the Internet.
Wrote it on the pink diary on the train to pri sch gathering. Why do I feel like I'm aging! An old heart in a young soul.