Why I prefer computers to people

[notsoclever]

This is a conversation between me and one of my (quite recently former) friends on Facebook. It was probably long overdue for this to happen.

Kevin
there've been days when i've had panic attacks hourly
today i wnet almost the whole day without one.
and have yet to break down sobbing uncontrollably. it's a good day!

10:37pmThomas
do you have a plan?

to

Comments

[caughtshort]

See, that's why I prefer people to computers.

[notsoclever]

I don't understand?

[caughtshort]

A computer, or any messaging device, is like a suit of armor enabling people to say stupid shit they wouldn't think of saying in face to face, or even voice, interactions.

As for the point of the misunderstanding between you two, he may have a point. He presented it poorly, deciding to do away with any care and concern he may have tempered it with, instead choosing exasperation to convey his point. I think that was a poor choice.

I do know, from personal experience, that having a plan, having something to do and to work towards, helps immensely. It's something I've been having trouble doing myself these days, so I completely understand being overwhelmed as well. To borrow a phrase from my dear friend, Dr. Birmingham, who was speaking of an entirely different set of circumstances, sometimes it's best to just hug the monster.

[notsoclever]

Oh, see the problem isn't the fact that he asked if I had a plan, which is why I asked him to clarify it. And why I hinged our friendship on his answer.

See, he wasn't asking me--and his reply bears this out--what I was planning to do. He was accusing me of not doing anything. I've known this guy for over 20 years, and have a pretty good understanding of what he means when he says something.

The funny thing is just this morning I told him I was evaluating what I would need to do to go back to school. Doesn't that sound like maybe I was seeing if I was developing a (new) plan?

He wanted to be an asshole to someone and thought he could get away with it. That's not the me I am anymore, though.

[maiac]

Yeah, I caught that he was assuming you hadn't done anything. Not the appropriate response to your original post. "Oh, hey, Kevin hasn't had an anxiety attack all day, so I'll give him reason to have one!" Asshole.

[notsoclever]

WTF? Not you too. Of course I have a plan. I have plans on top of plans. But they all start with "find a job." Something that I'm not having much luck doing right now. But that doesn't mean I'm not trying.

[caughtshort]

No. Not me too. I don't know anything about your current situation, so I'd be in a very poor position to accuse you of doing nothing.

[notsoclever]

>he may have a point. He presented it poorly, deciding to do away with any care and concern he may have tempered it with, instead choosing exasperation to convey his point. I think that was a poor choice.

Weird, because you just did.

[caughtshort]

Actually, I didn't. But he apparently did, and whether it was a valid one or not is not for me to state. That's why I used the word "may", because you neglected to give any background whatsoever. So I have to make the opinion you asked for applicable to whatever the fuck is going on. If he didn't have a point, or a valid one at least, then you wouldn't be so butt hurt over it.

[caughtshort]

Actually, I didn't. But he apparently did, and whether it was a valid one or not is not for me to state. That's why I used the word "may", because you neglected to give any background whatsoever. So I have to make the opinion you asked for applicable to whatever the fuck is going on.

But maybe he actually does have a point. His perspective is different than yours and he may be way the fuck out of line, but what he said hit a nerve, so it can't be all bullshit.

[notsoclever]

I've been out of work for 3 months. I've never been out of work this long in my adult life. Making me feel guilty is like shooting fish in a barrel, and he knows that. You're right...nerves were touched, and I'm angry.

But objectively? I've done all that I can. I do all that I can. The reason I've been thinking of going back to school is to maybe buy the time to re-evaluate, give the economy time to recover, give me some breathing room. I just don't want to start doing it and have it cause more problems than it solves.

All plans, however, must begin with my finding a job. And I still haven't found one. And that's where the guilt comes in.

[notsoclever]

I'm hyper-sensitive on this. I know it. But I shall go to Hell and put out the fires before I let anyone--you, him, others--tell me I've not done enough.

I am stuck in a place in my life and working my ass to not let it overwhelm me. It still does. Daily. But I pick myself up, and dust myself off. When the ovewhelmingness was getting to me, I made sure that I put myself on a strict schedule so that I could point to things and KNOW that I had done every day what I set out to do.

I guess I was interested in your opinion, but if you think he has a point, then not so much.